  Spiritual
This week: On Prayer and Meditation Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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Do you find it easy to pray, or to meditate? Or do you struggle connect, with a Higher Power, or even with yourself?
This week's Spiritual Newsletter is all about prayer, meditation and daydreams.
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A new year is about to begin, or has already begun, depending on when you read this newsletter. This tends to be the time for reflection on the last twelve months, and the plans that we have for the next twelve, and that would probably make the most suitable topic for this newsletter, but I want to write about something else. You've most likely done your reflection and made your plans anyway.
A friend of mine recently went through a tough time, and when I asked what I could do for her, she said, “Pray for me.” I assured her that I would, and I certainly tried. Prayer, though, is something I find difficult. Some people have told me that when they pray, they feel that they have a connection with God. They genuinely feel listened to, and experience a sense of relief, as if a burden has been lifted. I have prayed ever since I was a child, but I have never felt that connection, and my thoughts tend to drift, and I'm ashamed to say that if I am in bed and feel really tired, I may well fall asleep halfway through. It has happened on several occasions.
I can understand why prayer can be helpful to people. It's a means of gathering one's thoughts and running through them. It can help you deal with issues. It can offload the stresses of the day. If you feel as though these thoughts are being listened to, it's a way of sharing, a conversation, even a means of placing yourself in trusted hands. For me, it's more like a monologue, as much as I like to think that God is listening. There have been times when it did help me, as I expressed to myself what was troubling me and worked through my problems, and there have been times that I fervently hoped that help from above was available, but that longed for conviction that I am indeed engaged in an interaction with God just isn't there. I guess that I feel too insignificant to believe that my thoughts are of interest to a deity.
Meditation is even more difficult for me. When I attempt to clear my mind, I am so busy telling myself to clear my mind and pushing away distracting thoughts that it soon becomes a fruitless exercise. Again, I can understand the benefits of meditation, and of centering oneself, but I appear to be incapable of doing so.
I admire those who can meditate, and I admire those who can pour their hearts and souls into their prayers. I wonder how they do it. My own way of relaxing my mind is through daydreams – I am good at those! Sometimes my daydreams consist of elaborate storylines that I can quit when I need to focus and pick up again afterwards. They can continue for days, or weeks, or even months. They contain a lot of detail, well-developed storylines and a lot of character development. I may have a gigantic writer's block, but my daydreams remain with me.
Even then, my mind can be stubborn and disturb their flow by questioning minor details, analysing whether or not something's practical, or even possible, which is irritating because, as I tend to remind myself, there is no need to edit my daydreams – they're not real. It's like when I indulge in wondering what I would do with a lottery win. I don't even buy lottery tickets, but that doesn't prevent me from thinking about potential limits on charity donations, taxation on financial gifts to family and friends, and interest rates. Talk about spoiling your own fun.
My praying problems, however, are more important. I used to pray every night (or try to). Now I only pray once a week, or less, and it's a pretty set prayer, so more like a routine that is no longer that routine, and definitely doesn't involve a lot of passion. If God is listening to me, He will no doubt be bored, thinking, “Here she goes. Family, friends, pets, health, and yeah, she always asks if there's something she can do for me, but if I were to answer, I'd need to put big neon signs in her bedroom, and alarm bells, and a sound-system fit for a rock concert before she'd realise that it's me doing the talking.”
I guess, then, that this newsletter does involve a plan for 2015 – I would like to learn how to pray. Properly. And my questions to you are – how do you pray, or meditate? Do you find it easy, or do you struggle with it as well? Do you feel listened to? Do you have a connection with God/a Higher Power? How did you establish this?
kittiara
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Wishing you a week filled with inspiration, and a very happy 2015,
The Spiritual Newsletter Team
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Spiritual: December 31, 2014 Issue [#6746]
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