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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/7613
Action/Adventure: April 27, 2016 Issue [#7613]

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Action/Adventure


 This week: Character Introductions: What NOT to Do
  Edited by: Cinn
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter



I just finished reading a science fiction adventure novel by an author whose work I usually enjoy. I have read at least 20-30 novels of his, and this was the least enjoyable. I spent most of the novel confused over one of the most basic elements of a story. Who are the characters? This is the inspiration for today's newsletter: Character Introductions.



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Letter from the editor



There is nothing quite as disappointing as a novel by a much-loved author that just falls flat. I expected to enjoy it, but it felt like a total mess. There were multiple issues, but the biggest problem was the characters. I am somewhat glad that I read the book because I came away with a "what not to do" lesson. Here are some tips I gleaned from the novel:


1. Choose character names wisely.

The characters in the novel consisted primarily of 8 scientists and 2 technicians. All of the characters had strange and memorable names. Noosa, Kauri, Lastwell, Prentice, Simna, Lejardin, O'Sandringham, Salvor, etc. Unique, no? Each person had a combination of normal first name and unusual surname. For example, Jack Simna and Cody Noosa both use this mixture of common and uncommon. The issue? Matching the first and last names became nearly impossible because all of them had the same level of memorability. Who was Ted again? Which one was Stewart? The general answer was: No idea.

To further complicate matters, two of the scientists were a married couple who shared the last name Carnavon. This is not necessarily a problem in a story where people are most often referred to by their first names. Unfortunately, they referred to each other mostly by last names in this book. Halfway through the novel, the author realized the inconvenience and began referring to the wife as "Millie", but the damage had been done. It was awkward.

2. Include first, last, and nicknames when introducing characters.

If you need to introduce 10 characters in the first chapter of your book (ill-advised in general), it is important to distinguish them from one another. Names are one of the most basic ways to do that. This book introduced a few people by both first and last names, but most were only given a surname. When their first names came up later in conversation (i.e. "Hey, where is Cedric?"), there was no way of knowing who that was. I had nearly finished the novel by the time I finally figured out, through the process of elimination, that Ted was also Halstead. *Laugh*

I ran into similar issues with nicknames. One scientist's name was Bella-Lynn. When the names "Bell" and "BL" started popping up in conversations, I had no idea who that was. Needless to say, these issues made the novel difficult to navigate. It was worsened by the fact that there was no specific place (like, say, the first chapter?) in which all of the character names were given.

3. Show readers the character, not the character sheet.

Each scientist was introduced with background information that consisted mostly of their specialties (biology, botany, etc). That is to be expected for a group of scientists, but it was not useful information. Within the first few chapters, I discovered that their specialties were entirely irrelevant. All of them appeared to be interested in every aspect of scientific exploration, including flora, fauna, geology, and everything in between.

This begs the question: Why tell me their specialties in the first place? Furthermore, if readers cannot use the work they do to differentiate between characters, then what can a reader use to tell Cody from Frank or Ramirez from Stevens? At their core, each character was the same type... scientific and serious. It became impossible to tell one from another. I understand that the information was helpful for the author when creating the characters, but it was not helpful for me as a reader.

4. Choose the strongest voice(s) to deliver the narrative.

This novel was written in third person limited, but the POV switched from character to character, often multiple times in one chapter. That was not an issue for me in and of itself. The first pages were from the POV of a technician named Kauri Stevens, who had a very distinct voice. The other technician was also very colorful and fun. I assumed right away that the story would be told from their perspectives. When the scientists entered the scene, the POV switched to a very straightforward scientist voice (that of Jack Simna), which was very different from that of the technician. I anticipated no issues in differentiating one from the other.

Sadly, the technician's POV never repeated. Instead, the story was told from the scientist perspective. Notice that I did not say "scientists"? Well, that is because their voices were indistinguishable from one another. In fact, I completely missed the switch in perspectives multiple times while reading. I would read along for a few pages and then realize that this was NOT the character I thought it was, which changed everything about the scene.


Now, for those of you who read this newsletter from start to finish, I am truly sorry for the weird character names and any unintended confusion. If you are confused about what I was talking about here, imagine how confused I was while reading the story! Carefully considering the tips included here could very well prevent you from losing a reader. Keep it clean and easy to follow, and you will be one step ahead of this New York Times bestselling author.



Editor's Picks


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The Swift  (13+)
The steam-powered superhero pursues his arch-enemy, Professor Delirium Tremens.
#1879638 by CeruleanSon


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Ask & Answer

Do you have any tips on introducing characters? *Asteriskb* Ever read a novel as confusing as the one I talked about here?

*AsteriskV* *AsteriskO* *AsteriskB*



In the last Action/Adventure newsletter I edited, the topic was the necessity of side characters to assist "Chosen One" protagonists. Here are a few interesting responses:

*Asteriskv* *Asterisko* *Asteriskv*



I wrote a paranormal novel (not published) where the chosen one, a young girl, had all powers, but didn't know how to use them all. It took her rescuer and mother working together to get them to safety. Just because your character has all power, a story needs other characters to help, assist and move the story or it might be a bit boring.           From Quick-Quill


Agreed! If the side characters aren't needed, why even have them? That is a clever way to go about making the side characters necessary too!



This reminded me of James Dashner's "Maze Runner" series. There are lots of sidekicks that help Thomas get to the finish line and this ensemble cast really help make the story shine.           From StephBee


I have never read that series, but I do love well-written side characters that make the story richer! I'll have to give that series a peek on Goodreads! *Heart*



I had no idea ADF was the official Star Wars storyteller! Just got on the holds list for The Force Awakens book! Have you read The Human Blend?

A friend and I were talking about the Justice League last night and how Cyborg was an original Teen Titan, a group of sidekicks that started their own hero group. I prefer stories where all parties are equal in a way with only a perfunctory 'leader' to call the shots during battle.           From A*Monaing*Faith


I haven't actually read any Star Wars books. Foster wrote the original... Star Wars "by George Lucas". Beyond that first one, I have no idea which ones he wrote. *Blush* He is the king of the novelization though... Alien, Outlanders, The Dig, Star Trek... he has a whole lot of them. Of them, I've only read The Dig. I just love his original work, I guess.

I also tend to prefer stories where everyone is equal. Does there always need to be one protagonist, or can it be a group with equal time and energy spent on each? I think the latter.



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