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This week: The Importance Of Saying "I Love You" Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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They're three simple words, but they can be oh so difficult to say... but why?
This week's Drama Newsletter is all about expressing one's feelings.
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A bit of a different newsletter this week. There is a lot going on in my life right now, and it’s made me think about the importance of saying those three simple words – I love you.
Now, reminders to say those words are not uncommon. And they may prompt us to say it to someone, but soon after we may well forget about it again. Or we may want to say it, but let’s face it... it can be awkward. Especially if you and your family, or you and your friends are not accustomed to expressing such sentiments. That’s the case with both my family and I, and my friends and I. Play it cool, make no fuss, it’s all good.
Not that we don’t care... we do. We tend to show it more through the little things, little gestures. A friend of mine is still getting used to having a computer and having the Internet, so I will help her out whenever she has a problem with those. And when it’s needed, she’ll pick me up something from town as she goes in on an almost daily basis whilst I tend to go in only once every couple of weeks – I don’t have a car and it’s a ways away. With another friend, I know he has a sweet tooth so when I know he’s coming around I will make sure I have chocolate/cookies/cake in the house. And sometimes when he stops by unexpectedly he’ll bring me a treat that he knows I like.
Those things show care, and consideration, and a willingness to be there for the other. It shows that the person has a place in your heart. They are meaningful. But sometimes it is good to openly express what the other means to you. And if both parties involved feel that way, why is it often so difficult?
Some years ago, I began saying “love you” at the end of my phone conversations with my mom, my dad and my sis. “Love you” isn’t the same as “I love you” – it’s a bit more casual – but that’s about as far as I knew I could push it with them, and they do say it back now.
I tell my boyfriend I love him, but getting to the stage of doing so took some courage. I felt it well before I expressed it. It’s one of those awkward things in relationships where you're worried about being the first to say it in case the other doesn't feel that way, or doesn't feel that way yet, so if it's said too soon it can get a bit weird, both for the person saying it and for the person it's been said to. Luckily, in our case, we were at the same stage in our feelings, but we couldn't have known that beforehand. I'm glad we're there now, and I can express my feelings, and I know that those feelings are welcome. And that feels great.
Thing is, expressing what’s in your heart can leave you vulnerable. What if you suddenly say those words to a friend, and they look at you as though you’ve lost the plot? And relationships between people can have their difficulties, their ups and downs. So when is it the right time to open up more? Is it possible that in some cases the answer is never?
It is difficult, but I have recently been reminded how important it can be to take the chance. See, we cannot know what goes on in a person’s mind. Especially if it’s a person who tends to internalise their struggles, doesn’t want to burden anyone. That person may know on some level that people care about them, love them, but maybe actually being told they are loved might be what they need. It might make them share more, relieve some of that burden. Maybe it can make all the difference.
And tomorrow my mom is going into the hospital. She will have a major surgery on Thursday, to remove an aggressive tumor. There is quite a bit of risk involved, especially as she has underlying conditions. Tonight, then, when I was on the phone with her to wish her strength and offer support, I did say the full “I love you”. It felt right to do it, and I do believe it meant something to her.
Maybe we have to be brave sometimes, have to be the first, instead of waiting for others. Yes, it places you on the line. And you may well end up embarrassed. But so what, really? Love isn’t something that should fill us with shame. It’s something we all need more of.
To make this more writing-related, our characters may well experience these same doubts, these same concerns, that same awkwardness. Some may be more expressive. Some may have their walls up and struggle to share how they feel. This can be used in different ways, from complicating relationships to overcoming these internal obstacles.
Love can lead to pain, but also to great beauty, and wonder. It may well be the most special emotion we can experience. Let's embrace it, both in our lives and in our writing.
Kit of House Lannister
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Drama: November 23, 2016 Issue [#7991]
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