  Short Stories
This week: Nouns and Verbs Stand Their Own ! Edited by: Kate - Writing & Reading  
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"If you catch an adjective, kill it."
Mark Twain
"I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs."
Stephen King
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Greetings, fellow scribes.
Let me open by verily offering sincere felicitations on your exit from the conscriptions of daily obeisance for remuneration and compensation.
What did I just say? How many times did you have to read through the gobbledygook (an actual form of writing or manner of speech; jargon favored by politicians) before you got the meaning? Did you have to look up any of the words? Did you find them archaic, cliche?
I'm sure you've answered 'yes' to at least one of the above questions.
Many words and phrases rarely add anything to a sentence. Words like quite, very, extremely, essentially, totally, completely, at the present moment.
Think about it -
Is a blanket of white snow more vivid than a blanket of snow?
But if we slip in yellow snow, that is a defining image(e:rolleyes)
 Read your words aloud and listen to how they describe the action your mind's eye sees when writing them. Do you see Jack running swiftly, or walking softly? Running slowly would be jogging or speedwalking perhaps? If he walks softly, he tiptoes? Is not a tower by its nature 'tall'?
 Check in particular for adverbs and adjectives and look for a stronger, more vivid noun or verb instead. Adverbs add to verbs; adjectives add to nouns.
If a verb is strong it does not need help.
If a noun is strong, it does not need help.
 This is where our wordsmithing - the craft of writing - shows.
Is not a very light wind a breeze?
Is not a very strong wind a cyclone?
 Most verbs do not need adverbs to help them. They often distract from the immediacy of the moment, and take the reader out of the story; are unnecessary or even irrelevant. You will clutter your sentence and annoy the reader if you choose a verb that has a specific meaning and then add an adverb that carries the same meaning.
Don't tell us that the radio blared loudly - "blare" connotes loudness.
Don't write that someone clenched his teeth tightly - there's no other way to clench teeth.
Strong verbs are weakened by redundant adverbs.
 Adjectives are also often redundant (wordsmithing/logic)
Is a mountain slightly massive?
Then why say it's very massive.
Can someone be slightly flabbergasted?
Then why say very flabbergasted?
Does a losing sprinter mope happily?
Then why say he moped sadly while his enemy grinned widely?
Does someone unsuccessfully obtain support?
Then why say he successfully obtained support?
While adjectives and adverbs have their uses, most can be eliminated to keep the reader in the story. Stronger, more vivid verbs and nouns make the story vivid and active for the reader, drawing them into the action and emotion of the story.
I did a word search for 'ly' in a short story and was surprised to many which added no verve to the story. A few changes made the story more vivid, and I had fun wordsmithing.
Give it a try, read aloud your story and picture the action, then show that with vivid, vibrant nouns and verbs. Leave most of the ad-verbs and ad-jectives  on the cutting room floor and your story will pop, compelling your reader to want to read on. (Now, in phrase you just read, eliminate 'want to' and you will be 'compelling your reader to read on'.  )
I hope you've enjoyed this exploration and found something to challenge or incite your muse creative to action. Oh, by the way, the opening gobbledygook = Happy Retirement. (someday)
Write On 
Kate
Kate - Writing & Reading
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Check out a few short stories penned for your reading pleasure by members of our Community ~ perhaps engage in some dynamic interaction (comment/review perchance) and share one of your own
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#2124187 by Not Available. |
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#2123907 by Not Available. |
| | Mythos (13+)
Strange happenings in the windy city turn into a nightmare for Mariam Floros.
#2123472 by Pennywise  |
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#2118205 by Not Available. |
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Short Stories: June 07, 2017 Issue [#8322]
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