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This week: The "Rules", Part Two Edited by: Jay's debut novel is out now!  
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This issue:
The "Rules", Part Two
No, I don't actually believe in "Rules," relax! This issue: how to identify and minimize passive voice and past tense!
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Hey all!
It's been a busy couple of months for me, but I wanted to get out the next "The Rules"-themed issue and I thought I would kick it off with a reader inquiry!
LinnAnn -book writer  writes:
The thing I still have a bit of trouble with is the Passive Voice. It's hard to recognize when writing in past tense.
So, there are a couple of separate issues operating here, and one of them is that a lot of folks don't actually have a lot of awareness of what, specifically, constitutes passive voice. Passive voice can occur in any "tense" of writing, but Linnann is right, it can be difficult to recognize in past tense!
Passive Voice:
One of the two “voices” of verbs (see also active voice ). A verb is in the passive voice when the subject of the sentence is acted on by the verb. For example, in “The ball was thrown by the pitcher,” the ball (the subject) receives the action of the verb, and was thrown is in the passive voice.
--http://www.dictionary.com/browse/passive-voice
contrasting that:
Active Voice:
One of the two “voices” of verbs (see also passive voice ). When the verb of a sentence is in the active voice, the subject is doing the acting, as in the sentence “Kevin hit the ball.” Kevin (the subject of the sentence) acts in relation to the ball.
--http://www.dictionary.com/browse/active-voice
So, taking this into account, one easy way to keep ahead of passive voice is to make sure that the subject is doing the action instead of receiving the action of the sentence.
Now, that said...
When many new writers say "passive voice" in the context of 'past tense', often what they mean is that the past tense writing contains too many "be" verbs: verbs which describe a state of being rather than an action. These are usually sentences that end up clustered with "was" or "had" or similar words which add unnecessary bulk to the writing, and can even make it more confusing.
For example:
Nina had gone to the store and she had found a pomegranate which was unusually large.
If we look at every instance of "had" or "was" and applied a stronger verb, we could make a much stronger sentence that's easier to read and packs more punch:
Nina went to the store and discovered an unusually large pomegranate.
Both passive voice and past tense "be" verbs are important to keep in check while you're writing, so it's good to stay aware of it, especially once you finish the story and begin editing. (I maintain that you should write it however you have to write it to get it out of your head and onto the page, because you can always fix it later.)
Hope that helps to clarify some! I know that advice gets parroted around a lot and doesn't always get explained well.
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Anyone else have a "Rule" of writing that doesn't make any sense or that you might want to know more about? Let me know in the comments, and if it's a good one I can answer, I'll do my best!
Until next time,
Take care and Write on!
Jay
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Feedback from "The "Rules", Part One"
Pumpkin writes:
I got hung up on the contemporary writing rule in your newsletter about not comparing skin color to food or beverage. On The Big Bang Theory, a girl called Raj "caramel". It seemed fairly accurate and was intended on this big hit TV show to be a compliment to him. I had never heard it before, so it stuck with me. I've also heard sexy women described as "dark chocolate" or "milk chocolate". And, of course, there's the very old "olive complexion" for people who mostly come from olive growing regions, since no one is olive green.
Are these no no's? How do they get away with them on popular shows and movies?
So there are two components to this inquiry and I don't know that I'm the best equipped to answer them both, but I'll give it a shot! So,
on the first axis: "olive" is a valid description of complexion and in most use cases is not problematic!
To the use of other foods, especially coffee and chocolate, there are overtly racist and colonial overtones to using these to compare to people. There are some excellent essays on this topic, the best of which is collected here: Writing With Color.
As to the TV show question: TV and film writers "get away with" a lot of really gross and frankly insensitive stuff all the time.  No one is vetting "The Big Bang Theory" for whether or not the script is racist before it goes to air. It's part of how our culture perpetuates this kind of garbage, unfortunately, because "well, I saw it on TV!" is a way that people learn new things (sometimes really ugly ones!) People say racist stuff intending to give compliments all. the. time. so that's not really a good explanation either. This is why it's so important to keep rooting for more diversity in the writer's rooms of television studios.
Hope that helps and gives some insight! Feel free to reach out if you still have questions.
I Wonder  writes:
Thank you for posting information like this. I am like innerlight and Jeff. I start writing and just go with it. But now I can look at my story and make sure I have a formula in the making. I honestly know nothing about rules of writing. I have learned a lot of things on writing.com.
That's what we're all about around here! Happy to be of assistance.
Osirantinous  writes:
Not sure it's a rule, per se, but I hate that 'Only when you know the rules, can you break them' saying (possibly not those exact words though as I've had a brain blank!). I totally don't agree with that, and what especially bugs me is people telling me that when every second published book I pick up breaks this or that 'rule' and no one's dying in a ditch over it. I hate that apparently only published (and well-known) people can get away with breaking 'rules'. Oh sorry, Jay, bit of a rant there!! Can't wait for Part Two of this newsletter *Smile*
I both agree and disagree with the "going" information regarding rules and the breaking thereof: I think it is useful to know them but it is not _mandatory_ to necessarily know them all! A lot of published work breaks rules--or appears to while still actually conforming quite readily to others--and it can be hard to know whether it was done with deliberate intent or lack of awareness! I generally find that it's best to just do the writing because some of us will always require a little help from an editor later, as one of my instructors at Viable Paradise said to me  ...about my own writing. LOL.
Thanks, yinz! Please don't forget to write in about the writing "rules" you don't like or don't understand and if I get some good ones, I'll make them the topic of a future newsletter!
All the best,
Jay
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Short Stories: November 08, 2017 Issue [#8595]
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