  Short Stories
This week: No Evidence of Onions Edited by: THANKful Sonali LOVES DAD  
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Most short stories are centered around one major incident.
Sometimes, there is a 'reveal'.
As a writer, you have to decide -- is it a reveal for the reader, or the character, or both? |
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Dear Reader,
It was while I was listening to this reading from "The Whole Shebang" by Lalita Iyer, that it struck me. While her piece is non-fiction, it could well be material for a short story.
And for me, the big reveal would be ...
(Um -- shall I put it here, or shall I not?)
(Maybe I shall.)
The big reveal would be ... the lack of onions in the day's cooking.
Here's the extract:
Inlawfully Yours (from "The Whole Shebang" by Lalita Iyer)
When I was a little girl, I would often come home from play to find my mother weeping, her eyes all red, and she would pretend she had been chopping onions or some such. I would then walk in to the other room to find my grandmother (my mother's mother-in-law) and my aunt (her sister-in-law) whispering while munching on eats with their evening coffee. It didn't take me long to realise my mother's tears were courtesy something they said to her. Later that night, I would also notice that my parents didn't speak to each other. I saw that whenever my parents fought, the fights that involved defending each others' people resulted in the longest sulks. My Dad seemed to go on about his life quicker than my mother, she was the one pretending to chop onions for the longest time, even though there was no evidence of onions in the food we ate.
So, as a writer, if you were to storify this, the elements would be:
a. Mother's tears
b. Actions of the grandmother and aunt
c. Parents' fight
d. Lack of onions in the food
To me, the big reveal is lack of onions -- given that that is what the mother had used as an excuse.
So where would this feature, in your story?
At the beginning? Something like --
"It was strange, but I didn't find any onions in the dish Mom served us for dinner that night ..."
As the big reveal at the end?
"But you know, there was one thing lacking, that night at dinner. The whiff of onions in any of the dishes Mom served us."
Each gives its own, well, flavour to the piece. Revealing it in the beginning makes the reader pull back, always knowing that the onions were fake and the tears sprang from something more sinister.
The big reveal at the end pushes the reader forward ... through the inkling and then the confirmation.
As a writer, you have to decide:
when the character guesses / knows
when the reader guesses / knows
and which of these happens before the other.
What changes?
Depending on where you put the lack of onions, the tone of the piece, and therefore the reaction of the reader. Is it like a soap-opera ... tears, gossip, fights, poignant end? Is it like a satire? Reveal, pretense through tears, gossip, fights? Does it result in a sense of sadness or outrage?
Lots to think about, when it comes to adding ingredients to the tale you cook up!
Conjure on!
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Thank you for the responses to "Everyday life ... a story?"
fyn  : What a fun newsletter!!! Gives new meaning to the 'American' phrase 'finger food' ! I was in Hawaii recently and there, there are chickens everywhere running loose! Cows might be a bit more of a traffic hazard though. :)
As far as using real life occurrences in writing, I am a huge fan of it which is why I am always talking about folks being observant. One never knows what might be fodder to feed a story! ~Fyn
Sally  : Learning a little of your culture has been so interesting - thank you so much for a great newsletter!
Quick-Quill  : I know nothing about India culture, but loved watching the movie The 100 foot journey. I love most Indian food. I can tell you that writing a story as you requested is difficult. There is a lot of research to do, but most difficult is writing in such a way the reader understand the culture or event you are describing. There is a point at which you have to assume the reader knows nothing about what you are writing. I didn't think your nephew's story was funny. So what he asked to get a farmer to remove the cow. Where is that funny?Without the explanation of India and all cows are sacred, there must be something comical about the request. If I were to write about a culture depicted in the future, I must make up the culture the world is set in. Star Trek was good at this. We were put into a world and watched the characters act and show the cultural confines. Not as easy to write, but certainly a challenge.
On Facebook, in answer to the question - 'How often do you overtake a cow on the way to work?':
Pedro Albornoz Every day. This is Cochabamba, Bolivia. We got more cows on the streets than working cops. |
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Short Stories: November 22, 2017 Issue [#8613]
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