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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/8942-How-to-Handle-Tough-Feedback.html
Noticing Newbies: June 06, 2018 Issue [#8942]

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Noticing Newbies


 This week: How to Handle Tough Feedback
  Edited by: Sara♥Jean
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

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Word from our sponsor



Letter from the editor

How to Handle Tough Feedback

My last newsletter talked about how reviewing is tough sometimes. But what should you do when you receive tough reviews?


Now, let's be honest again. Sometimes, it's really hard to receive feedback on our items that is less than stellar.

We put our hearts and souls on paper (or on computer, as the case may be), we edit and edit and edit until it is as perfect as we can make it, and then we press submit. And then, the reviews start trickling in. Some of them are very kind, some of them only offer a sentence or two and seem to have no information in them at all, some of them you wonder if the person read your item at all, some of them offer quite a lot of feedback, and some of them cut is straight to the quick and hurt us quite deeply.

I think, before we respond to any sort of review, we need to consider a few things.

*Bullet* Did they just enjoy your item, and leave a note?

Some people love to read, and do not want to leave something they have enjoyed reading without letting the author know they have enjoyed it. These are the source of many of your positive reviews that don't have a lot of breakdown with other feedback in them. Accept them, thank them, and move forward - they enjoyed it, and they wanted to let you know. Some might even have a little tiny bit of feedback and a lower rating, but I wouldn't worry too much, they are just passing through.

*Bullet* Are they seeking out review rewards?

Some people enjoy the review rewards, and so they leave reviews so they can earn them. As long as they aren't abusing the system by not actually reading your item and just leaving multiple reviews with the same exact words, usually exactly 250 characters, over and over - or just filling their reviews with junk to get to the 250 characters to get the rewards, these are also nice to receive. They tend to be reviewers that review quite a few items, and aren't much harm.

*Bullet* Are they intentionally trying to hurt your feelings?

Was the reviewer being intentionally cruel? These types of reviews can and should be reported. Usually, these reviews are 1 or 2 star reviews with ugly or cruel statements, with no real reasons for these statements. Oftentimes they are unrelated to the item itself and are personal attacks, though not always such. If anyone is intentionally going out of their way to be cruel, then that is not permissible, and these types of reviewers should be reported to the staff so they can be handled. Often, they do this in a private review so others will not be able to report it for you - you may have to do it as the recipient. But never let anyone be intentionally cruel to you, that is not anyone's right.

*Bullet* Or are they simply giving you feedback, even if it hurts just a bit?

Sometimes, even if the feedback isn't what we want to hear, or even if the stars aren't quite as high as we feel they should be, the intention of the reviewer isn't to be cruel. If the reviewer finds quite a lot within the item that they feel needs adjustment, and the reviewer gives powerful constructive criticism, a low rating of 1 to 3 stars might be given because they feel that the item needs quite a lot of work, and not because someone is intentionally being cruel. These stars exist in the rating system for a reason, and that reason isn't for someone to be cruel, it is because items sometimes do need a lot of work. There has been a stigma in recent years that receiving these stars is an insult, but it shouldn't be. One should always be able to edit, fix what is wrong, and then ask a reviewer to return to an item to look at it again and offer another review and change the amount of stars given.

However, realize that you have the right to disagree with your reviewers, too. You don't have to agree with everything they say is wrong, and you don't have to fix everything. Really, you don't have to fix anything. You are welcome to thank them for their feedback, and leave your item just as it is. I make this choice on a regular basis for several items I wrote for The Writer's Cramp - because I find that the beauty of those items is that I wrote them in 24 hours, and I leave them unedited, mistakes and all.

You should also realize, however, that arguing with your reviewer if and when you disagree will get you nowhere. Their opinion is just that - their opinion. And your opinion is yours. Try as you might, it is unlikely you will sway your reviewer to your side, because the item in question is very much yours, and the reviewer is less connected to it than you are.

*Bullet* Realize that how you respond to a review reflects on you, and can determine whether you receive more reviews from great reviewers.

If you act really negatively toward someone that worked very hard on a review for you, it will reflect badly upon you, not on the reviewer. Begging or demanding 5 and 4 star reviews is not received well. If someone believes you deserve 5 or 4 stars, they will give them to you. Some people give them out rarely, some people give them out very often. Whether or not you receive them depends on the person doing the reviewing, and whether they believe your work deserves it.


Just always remember - if the person reviewing your item is not being intentionally cruel, even if the review might hurt your feelings and pride just a bit, try to take a deep breath, and take what is good out of the review. They are trying to help you become a better writer. And, since we are on a writing website, we all could use a bit of that.



Editor's Picks

Here are some items from some of our newest members. Please do stop by and give them some feedback!

 Eyes  (E)
Warning: They are always watching you...
#2160193 by OnlyChildx


 Still Scared of the Dark  (E)
Middle of the night. No power. This poem just came up.
#2160179 by Staylonger33


 Naive Native  (E)
True short story of life and living for a very small girl.
#2160174 by mags


But why...   (E)
How my paranoia/anxiety feels sometimes
#2160151 by I am trying


 Rage  (13+)
Jealousy, Rage, the beast within man.
#2160146 by Master Sergent M


 Not quite a Monster  (E)
Being a Hero or a Villain isn't all balck and white
#2160109 by JadenRae


 Ignorance  (E)
Date: November 4, 2011
#2160054 by P.X. Vexxus


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#2160037 by Not Available.


 The Reluctant Boyfriend. Scene 1.  (E)
Caitlin was annoyed, was it the dead body or the fact it was lying on her new carpet?
#2160016 by apj1465


 Mr Cuddles  (13+)
What if we lived in a world where plushies ruled?
#2160010 by Kabe

 
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Ask & Answer

Here's some people that wrote into my last newsletter, "Noticing Newbies Newsletter (May 9, 2018)

Whata SpoonStealer said, "The prodigal son returns 2023. is a big fat liar— he’s an artist— and actual painter. Silly man always poking fun!

I just had to give a 3.5 rating with a big fat review and it nearly killed me. It’s hard because it takes more work to give a lower rated review; you’ve got to give more examples, back yourself up some. You don’t want them to think you’re a jerk. And you DO want to help them!

I love getting low reviews, so long as there’s words in that review, I’ll find something in it to help my writing. Excellent nsl! ~Whata"

My apologies for the confusion, it was me that said I wasn't an artist when I was replying to him. I added my initials to the end of that reply after I received your comment with the confusion. ~ S*Heart*J

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Boulden Shade (fka Jeff Meyer) said, "Excellent post! I LOVE reviewing, although lack of time and energy have decreased my participation lately. I'd like to offer one more tip: a Reviewing Template.

For me, I usually review like I'm sitting in the pub with the author, just chatting. It's a personal, honest, and considerate tone. However, some pieces are so awesome or so large that I have to compartmentalize the critique to make any sense at all and keep from rambling. A reviewing template is an excellent tool for this.

I recommend all reviewers have a template on hand, even if they rarely use it. Better to have the tool when you need it!

Thanks for this newsletter; it will help many of us help each other!"

I agree! The Reviewing Template can be quite a handy tool for those who review on a regular basis. Especially for those who like to review using regular signatures, or for our reviewers who give very detailed reviews. It can help them organize their reviews in a systematic way, and they can save reviews that they haven't quite finished yet without having to send them. ~ S*Heart*J

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Pumpkin said, "I thought I did a gentle review once on a cleanly written, but not exciting piece. I felt I was stretching giving it a 4.5 rating, to be encouraging. I had written explanations in the review. The author wrote back to complain because I didn't give her a 5 star rating. I couldn't answer her any further than I had in the review. Now I can't remember anything about the rather average piece, except that the author thought highly of it herself."

I had planned today's topic before I received this (and another) comment, but it seems appropriate. I hope today's newsletter helps a little. ~ S*Heart*J

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Kimbug said, "I got a less than four star review from someone who was basically giving me tough love on what was wrong with a piece I wrote. Initially, I felt a little miffed, then I thanked them for their honesty. Thanks for your wonderful newsletter on how to tackle those "constructive reviews." Normally, I shy away from doing those because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. As the saying goes, "better the wounds of a friend than the deceitful kisses of an enemy.""

It is sometimes as hard to receive them as it is to do them. But, we all want to improve, so we should be willing to give tough reviews and receive tough reviews, as long as we understand that everyone is trying to make us better writers. I am glad that you were able to see past the hurt. It can be painful when we put ourselves out there sometimes, but we are putting ourselves out there to make ourselves better. ~ S*Heart*J

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writers_cramp said, "I almost always get very detailed with my reviews. I try to teach, not tear down. I also usually explain WHY something is wrong and how to fix it. I often offer suggestions. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the person I reviewed appreciates the time I spent reviewing, thank me, and have learned a great deal. . .until today. LOL! I received a response that accused my review of being a rewrite, ". . .so why not claim it as your own?" the "author" stated.

I replied saying I tried to help, to teach, but if you are going to cop an attitude, perhaps you should try photography.

It is sad when I spend so much time trying to help someone and they get their feelings hurt instead of seeing how much time and effort a reviewer spent trying to help them.

Bummer. Oh, well. The problem is the "author"'s. I tried."

This is the other comment I meant - I was planning today's topic before I received this comment, but I do hope that today's newsletter topic helps a bit. You aren't alone - and I hope that this one author's reply doesn't stop you from giving good feedback. ~ S*Heart*J

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dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG said, "Reviewing for me is very special because I read,write, learn, and get to know the writers through their word art. When I review for me it is a sharing of ideas with the writer which is for me an honor. When I receive a review it is for me a wonderful opportunity to learn how I can improve my writing and what readers see from their point of view. Reviewing and reviews are treasure troves of valuable opportunities and information. The sweet treat is meeting people and getting to know them as we build a writing and reviewing relationship. My writing, reviewing, and reading skills have improved because of investing the time and effort into doing reviews and acting upon suggestions offered in the reviews I receive from reviewers."

This is what I hope everyone really takes out of all of this. Your comment is gold. Thank you so much. ~ S*Heart*J

--------------------------


Lilith of House Martell said, "Excellent and timely article! Thank you!"
Rebecca said, "This was a great newsletter. I really got a lot of good things out of this one."
Sally said, "An excellent, informative newsletter!"
Osirantinous said, "Excellent newsletter. Established members should be reading it too, not just newbies."
J. Lynn Lindsay said, "Thank you! this was quite helpful."

Thank you all so much! ~ S*Heart*J

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