This week: The Futility of Hate Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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When someone wrongs us, hate can blossom. But hatred is a destructive force that hurts the one experiencing it...
This week's Spiritual Newsletter is all about love and hate, and being kind to ourselves...
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Do you ever say that you hate something? Sprouts, for example, or gloomy weather? It’s strange, isn’t it, how that word so easily passes our lips, whilst the feeling behind hate – real hate – is so powerful and destructive?
Have you ever hated someone? I know people who say that they do feel that way towards others. Personally, I don’t hate anyone, but I have come close... There have been those who have treated me very badly. There have even been those who have committed crimes against me. Terrible ones. When someone commits these kinds of acts, it is only natural to have strong feelings against them. The thing about hate, however, is that the only person it truly hurts is yourself.
It’s sometimes said that love and hatred are closely linked. I don’t know about that. Love can turn to hate if the person you felt deeply about does you wrong. It seems unlikely, though, that hatred can turn into love – it is certainly not something I have ever witnessed. It is true that both feelings are strong, and that they can hold an enduring grip on someone’s heart. It is also true that both can lead you down the wrong path. Still, one, by its very nature, is positive, whilst the other is negative. They don’t appear to be related, but I may be mistaken.
I have seen what hatred can do. I have seen usually lovely people turn bitter and spiteful. Hatred eats away at a person. It can eat away at someone’s soul. When hatred takes hold, it’s as though it builds a dark shell around their very being, and when that happens, how can any light shine through?
There is a lot of darkness in this world. There is a lot of hatred. Day by day I read the news and feel disheartened at the terrible things that people do to one another. And it’s not just now – throughout history there has been so much suffering. I don’t think I will ever understand why we treat the other in such a horrible way. It’s not for nothing that every single faith I know of teaches us the importance of love, and care, and compassion.
I’ve just completed an essay on Nietzsche, a man who, in his writings, didn’t hold compassion in high regard. Yet, his final act before he fell very ill was to protect a horse from abuse – a compassionate act. No matter how we attempt to convince ourselves that we shouldn’t be loving, and kind and caring, the urge to be just that lives in our hearts, or at least the potential lurks there, even when other, darker feelings dwell there, too.
Of course, it’s easy to say, “Let in the light.” It’s easy to tell people to love, to care, to be there for others. It’s easy to tell people not to hate. The reality is not that straightforward. When you’re in pain, and especially when the person who caused that pain shows no remorse, how else are you supposed to feel?
As said, though, the destructive force that is hatred turns against the person experiencing the hatred and that means that, in effect, you’re being hurt twice. I know that it’s not easy to let go of negative feelings. I have found myself incapable of forgiving those who committed serious crimes against me, and I am certainly not capable of forgetting what they’ve done. I’ll readily admit to that. I wouldn’t want anything to do with them. But I don’t hate them. Allowing myself to feel such strong emotions towards them gives them a place in my heart and mind that they do not deserve.
And that’s where love differs from hate, too. The end of love is usually caused by the actions of others. You, on the other hand, are able to stop the hatred inside of you. It may take time. It may take that most difficult kind of love – a love for yourself. But you can do it.
The reward is a more peaceful life, full of healing. You are worth it.
Kit of House Lannister
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Spiritual: February 20, 2019 Issue [#9394]
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