The Roles We Play

My three year old son is a girly-boy. He loves all things girlish. His first love purple, has gradually-ated to, you guessed it, pink. I was mildly amused by his gender defying color choices, but being the mama that I am, did not fret or worry about it.

But it looks like matters wouldn’t end there for dear little Tejas.
Woe be to him, he gave way to brand new twin baby sisters and I thought, lo! all things girlish will suddenly seem like a promise to my Tejas.

Our house, lacking of girly-stuff except for my occassional make-up puffs, suddenly surfeited with glittery dolls, dresses, shoes, small strollers, doll houses and all.
And along came the glamourous bodily entanglements, rings of all sorts for all body parts, to caress the neck, and to tickle the ears, and to tease nearby toes and to nibble at the scalp.

He sighed when we adorned the girls with wiry hair bands, golden ear loops, diamond finger rings, glass bangles, silver anklets, tiny toe rings and boy, he wanted all of it.
Being the mama that I am, I gladly gave them to him, but his father’s strong voice fell on him ‘boys don’t need those, those are for girls’ and all things bright and beautiful were snatched away from him. He was left wailing ‘I want to look cute too’, when everyone else had moved on, laughing and adoring the prancing twin girls, to the next item on the festive agenda.

My three year old son is a girly-boy. He loves all things girlish, for he loves to dance.
When he danced at home, all seemed right. Being the mama that I am, I signed him up for a dancing class, which is when, did things go wrong. For he was the only boy, dancing among a crowd of girls, and his father bellowed, ‘boys don’t need to dance, dancing is for girls’. His face became small and his feet came to a halt.

If I don’t tell you, you probably would never know, that my three year old son, first and foremost, is a boys-boy at heart. He loves all things boyish. One would think that legos are for making machines and guns, for he is relentlessly making big lego ones and firing them away, onto the white ceiling sky.

One day when I walked in, I found my Ammu, and my brows furrowed, for she was holding a mini lego gun, made with her very own tender supple twenty two month tiny hands, firing away just like her daring darling brother would do.

And there is my other girl, Aishu, shy and coy, with her two fingers, thumb and index, doing circular motions on her open lips, with a smile so shy, a dimple in her cheek, her head bowed down, with peering eyes looking up, at you. She is a true girls-girl and I chide her now and then, not to be so wry.

Why do we so readily consent to having a tomboy of a girl but not a janegirl of a boy. And even if your girl is a janegirl of a girl, you want her to be a boy for all boys and a girl for all girls, so she will get the better of both worlds.
It is something like ‘hey you boy, stay a boy’ and ‘hey you girl, be a boy and a girl’. And so I see my poor dear boy not being able to comfortably enjoy gender bending items when my dear twin girls, so effortlessly step between both realms and everything just seems perfect.

Life, indeed is not fair to the poor dear boys.

Who are we kidding ?
Life, indeed is fair to the poor dear boys
For it is women, who want to pretend as men,
Wearing shapely pants and stylized shirts
Few men want to wear skirts and blouses.
Fewer want to stay home and cook and clean.
And fewest still, to get periods and pregnant.

Who are we kidding ?
Life, indeed is not fair to the poor dear boys who want to do girly-things
Life is ruthless to the very few, who want to wear a ballet shoe
And tap dance their whole life through.
And cook enticing soups in the kitchen
Wearing a lengthy one armed mitten
To feed their wives and children and kitten.

Who are we kidding ?
Life, indeed is not fair to the good young daughters
Who aspire to be their dearest old fathers
For each time they try, to reach to the sky,
They are pulled down, shy
Of being a guy, but rather a girl.

We all have our roles to play
Just as nature intended them, should stay
If the balance is not distended
Will we have a fine life, as intended.

For we have made our mistakes in the past
And society has evolved at last
To keep matters simple and straight.

But girls and boys are never done
Boys and girls keep changing the laws, written.
Trying new things to suit their dare
Their world, and their life their affair.