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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1286189-Adam
by Portia
Rated: E · Poetry · Emotional · #1286189
This is an honest (possibly too honest) poem about my autistic brother
Beneath his simple, smiling face,
Behind his earnest eyes,
Within his pure and peaceful heart,
A deep enigma lies.

He’s innocent and ignorant,
But means the world no harm.
He’s distant and undignified,
But has an honest charm.

I love him more than he could know;
I pray for him each day.
And I know that he loves me too,
But it’s so hard for him to say.

And yet each time I see him there,
My heart begins to rust.
I turn and back away from him;
Compassion turns to dust.

He never tries to hurt me,
But I’m covered with his scars.
So I’ve built a mental prison;
Kept him locked behind my bars.

I must maintain this emptiness,
For my fragile sanity’s sake.
If I were to let him in,
My entire soul would break.

The moment I begin to feel,
And my defenses fall,
I know that I will bend and snap
From the torment of it all.

I can’t handle comprehension,
Or peer inside his mind.
It’s selfish, but I’m terrified
Of the pain that I might find.

So I keep him hidden far away,
Pretend that I don’t care.
Yet sometimes when I close my eyes,
I see him everywhere.

He has a kind and caring heart;
He’s not the one to blame.
I wish that I was strong enough;
And didn’t play this game.
© Copyright 2007 Portia (akwiatkoski at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1286189-Adam