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We're off on an adventure to Fig Mint Island to seek the guidance of The Great Lizard. |
| [Introduction]
I intend to seek the guidance of the Lizard Oracle on Fig Mint Island. The journey will be lengthy and the passengers may either extol the virtues of my Lizard Oracle, or be vehement detractors, or even just come along for the ride in the sunshine... Did I mention we're traveling by a large luxurious privately chartered boat? But wait... Is the boat what it seems? Is the Oracle? We shall find out when we embark, and then we'll be on our way. "We're off to See the Lizard!" This campfire will be extinguished on Saturday, February 23, 2008, 11:59pm, so it is imperative you take your turn quickly. The rating is 13+ for now. If the participants wish to continue, it may be rekindled after judging for "Tourn-a-Rounds"  . For the purposes of the contest, any participant in this campfire may not participate in a campfire created by my opponent, or we will both be disqualified. My opponent for this round is oblivion. |
| Welcome to the adventure of a lifetime! My name is Credula Totali, and I am sponsoring this foray into the unknown. As you all know, I have learned from semi-reliable sources that there is an oracle residing on a tiny island in the Caribbean Sea. The Captain says the trip will take several days, but it is claimed that the island may be able to move without warning, so it may prove a bit more difficult to find than I had hoped. I believe we are in capable hands with Captain Ted and his able crew. Captain Ted says he knows how to find it, and we should all relax and enjoy the ride until we land on Fig Mint Island. Once we arrive, he has assured me that the natives are friendly and will be pleased to hear of our interest in the Great Lizard and his powers of prophesy. They should be quite accommodating and may even have a celebration in our honor if what Captain Ted says is true. He said he used to teach Caribbean history before he became a ship's captain, so I have faith in his knowledge. Captain Ted said we will be underway shortly, as there a few more provisions to stock. Once we leave port we can go to our cabins and freshen up for dinner. But now I'd love for you all to introduce yourselves and tell everyone a little about why each of you decided to come along on this exciting voyage. And then we're off to see the lizard! |
| Hi, I'm Jennie and I came along for the ride. I understand that Credula Totali is sponsoring this abnormal trip and I know what adventure she can create without even trying. There's no telling what we'll run into or up against but I'll be there to help bail her out. Until she needs me, I'll be on the bough with a good book and a margarita. Ta ta....... |
| Hey y'all! Ah'm Colonel Standish Standwood from the Great State of Gajjuh, and Ah am soooo happy to have all of y'all heah on this pleasuh cruise to make my acquaintance and enjoy my company. Ah hope we'll have some time on this here little island to go treasure-huntin' now, won't we, Miz Credula? Oh, now where did Ah set my bourbon-n-branch? Whur's my man? Whur'd he go? Barley! Barley! Ah sho hope Barley didn't fall overboard-already! Ah'd have to unpack my own suits.... |
| I'm Ishmael Whaler, Captain Ted's bosun. I may look a little odd with my pet albatross around my neck, but Harve just loves to nestle there! I have a magnetic personality: no, really - keep me away from the compass. However, I make up for all of that with my uncanny nack for steering into heavy weather. I'm also known affectionately for my miserable outlook on life; many's the fellow sailor who accuses me of being "down in the doldrums" I hope you have a great voyage... I tend to hope for a lot things! |
| The boat has moved several miles west from shore and the embarkation site of South Bimini is now barely visible in the distance. Everyone first went off to their cabins to unpack their gear and settle in a bit, and they have now returned to the main cabin as Credula has asked the passengers to meet her here to discuss the Lizard and its virtues. Captain Ted is lurking outside, having peeked in and inquired as to everyone's health and to assure us of his competence. He said he may send in his Bosun to answer questions the passengers may have. "Ah, is everyone freshened up a bit?" Credula asked as she pulled down a map of the Caribbean and surrounding waters and spread it on the table anchored into the wall and slid into a bolted down chair. "I wanted to show you where we are and where the Captain thinks the island is. I am so looking forward to getting there and actually talking to a real live oracle. You only read about those in stories and fairy tales, but I know that we will be amazed and thrilled when we see the Great Lizard!" Credula placed her finger on the map and traced a slightly upward arc from Bimini and moving westward, stopping when she'd moved her finger about four inches. "This is where the Captain says we are headed." She moved her finger up and back toward the east, tapping the map on a small island. "And here is Bermuda. The Captain says we won't be going that far north, though. "There should be plenty of sunshine, so you should be able to work on your tan, Jennie, and hopefully the weather will stay as nice and calm as it is now. "Oh, and Colonel, were you able to locate Barley? The Captain said he had last seen your man leaning over the rail near the stern of the boat. "We should have plenty of time to do a bit of treasure-hunting as well, Colonel. We have hired the Captain and his able crew for two months time, and I am sure we will be able to satisfy any yearnings we may have regarding treasure, or prophesy, or just about anything we set our minds to wanting to do. The Bosun seems to be quite interesting as well, perhaps he will chat with us a while about Fig Mint Island. I believe he said he has been there and traded with the natives. Perhaps he can shed some light on them and the mysterious island for us." |
| Hmmmpf! Barley must be hiding belowdecks somewhere with the crew, probably into a spot of rum and too ashamed to show his face in my cabin. I had to lay out my own dinner suit! Shocking! Where's that Bosun? I wish to ask him about those big white fish I saw swimming around the ship a few hours ago; those sharp big teeth were a little alarming, almost as if they were smiling. Hmmm..If Barley continues to fail to show, I might have to dig for Treasure myself-and carry it to the ship--no that will not do. I must enlist someone among the crew to help me. Hmm, who can I impress into my illustrious service for a promise of a tiny but tidy bit of treasure plunder? Hmmpf! Pray continue, Miz Credula-you mentioned "treasure", I believe? |
| "Hush now all, and let me tell you a salty tale of mishap, mayhem, and murder most foul... and money - as requested, Colonel." "It was on a night like this, 100 years ago, the Dlizabeth Eane was lost upon the jagged rocks of Fig Mint Island. As well as crew full of doomed lepers, she also carried a movie starlet, a passionate director, a HUGE monkey, and a Wal-Mart consignment of Baked Beans. "All were cast away on this shore and made the best they could of the situation. The starlet, Rae Fae, soon found herself with child. No-one said anything, but due to the size, shape and noises from the bump, it was considered not to be the leper's or the director's. However, all the gold-coin and fish hooks on the island couldn't stop Blake's Demonic Lepers infecting the unborn Monkey child and the result of the unholy union created the red-eyed, Lizard Oracle we have come to visit today! "And what of the murder, you may ask? The Lizard Oracle was born fully formed, and massive. Blake's Lepers didn't know it was the child, as they were sat around a shore line campfire eating beans and farting fog, it came lumbering through the mist gagging for fresher air. Much panic ensued, with each doomed soul going for the red-eyes of the monster, only to find out they were all attacking each other. "No-one knows what happened to Blake's money, Rae Fae, Cong, or the Director, but the Lizard Oracle lives on, and the natives have retained the strange ability to create treacherous coastline fog-banks through magical bean recipes." Bosun Ishmael Whaler ended there, with a knowing nod, a satisfied smile, and a hungry albatross pecking at his chest. Behind him, rose a bank of luminous fog... |
| Credula clapped her hands together and danced excitedly. "There isn't supposed to be any storm coming, is there?" The Bosun shook his head, making the albatross looked a bit vexed. "We must be close, then! Quickly, now! Up on deck!" They rushed out to the deck, but there was nothing to see. Yet. A sound of horrible crunching came then, as the boat lurched to a staggering halt. The miasma of rotten beans cloaked the shoreline, which they had just grounded upon. Captain Ted groped a strange looking object from his massive beard and blew into it. A screeching wail of sound came forth from it and the big man laughed and gestured toward the shore. "Aye lads and lasses, this is it. We be aground on Fig Mint Isle." Captain Ted bellowed. His accent had changed a bit from a day or so earlier, Credula thought it downright Long John Silver-ish, now. "That be the signal to the natives that we be arriving as agreed with booty, er, passengers who wish trade with 'em. They be on their way. Listen." He said. A series of hoots and whistles could be heard from a distance. Then the natives appeared, and a more horrible sight none of the landing party could have imagined. The hairy beasts, because there wasn't much else they could be called, came loping across the sand in a wave of garish colors and a stink of epic proportion. Credula's eyes were huge and the look of revulsion mixed with adulation on her face was rather disturbing to the others. She continued to stare with rapt awe at the natives until Jennie kicked her in the ankle. "Ouch... Um, Captain," she said, shaking her head as though coming out of a trance, "are the natives civilized? Are we safe?" She had wisely begun backing up toward the cabin, as self-preservation took over her amazement. The Captain laughed heartily. He said, "They no be cannibals if that be the question, although I'm not sure ye be their species, at that." He shrugged. "They come when boats come for the trade ye bring. To land on Fig Mint ye must pay passage. They will be expectin' homage from each of ye. A personal effect or a sacrificial lamb, as it were, will satisfy them. I mean to say, give them something personal and valuable, or they'll toss ye to their volcano god. If'n they be rightly happy with what ye gives to 'em, they may then let you see their Lizard Oracle god. Choose yer gift wisely, now." Credula closed her mouth after he finished his speech. She said, "You said nothing of sacrifice or gifts when you told me of the island. You said they were peaceful and welcome travelers, You lied to me, Captain. We shall all be killed!" "No, Missy, I said ye must give a gift. If they like yer gift, they'll make ye welcome. Oh, they will know if'n the gift is not of yer own, the Lizard can tell 'em, so no borrowing something from your neighbor." He said, grinning widely and showing his gold tooth. Credula turned to the rest of the party, "Well, I guess we have to do what the man says. I'm sorry I didn't know this, but I'm sure we can all find something in our personal effects the natives will like. I believe I will give them my silver-backed mirror. It will be worth it to finally see the illustrious Lizard." |
Well, I can't believe we had our trip interrupted and now I have to give something of myself. You know how selfish I am and prefer not to share my goods with those I don't know well. *Jennie searches through her belongings, obviously unwilling to part with much* "Ohhh, here's my old Aunt Martha's locket. I never cared much for her, anyway or that atrocious locket. They don't have to know that. I didn't borrow anything. The locket was a gift from dear Aunt Martha so I can turn it over and they will make me welcome."  |
| (Colonel Standwood glances around for Barley, figuring to throw him to the natives, since Barley is after all a human "possession" of the Colonel. Barley, however, is still nowhere to be found, and has not been seen since the crew had spotted him hanging over the railing, sightseeing. ) Since Barley isn't currently available, the Colonel reaches for a barrel of rum and drags a lowly sailor over next to it, commanding him to carry the barrel down to the shore. Since Colonel Standwood brandishes a large, ugly, mahogany walking stick with a carved shrunken head topping it, the sailor elects to follow his instructions. Staggering down the ramp with the heavy barrel, the sailor is almost to the beach when the Captain starts to shout, "It has to be ye own treasure to give!" but it's too late. The hairy, massive natives grab the barrel, pass it hand to hand to the back of the group, then one picks up the hapless sailor and tosses him into the ocean. Meanwhile the one who appears to be the leader-he is larger and taller than the others, as well as hairier, and standing apart from the others-bares ugly stained teeth at the Colonel in a very unpromising grin. The Colonel stumbles backward, colliding with a barrel of gunpowder unsafely stashed on deck, and humiliatingly finds himself sitting on the barrel, stammering. For the first time recorded history, Colonel Standish Stanwood of the Great and Sovereign State of Georgia is speechless--all the more so as the huge leader grins wider and gnashes his teeth, pointing a grubby gnarled index finger at the Colonel--and beckoning. |
| No man-of-the-south cowers for long, though. Soon the Colonel rose, and with a strength of character which would have made any southern belle swoon with desiah, he held his chins up high and tottered down the walk-way to face his fate, alone. "Cheers, China!" The big hairy leader squealed, with oddly voiced London-cockney glee. He grabbed Colonel Standwood's large, ugly, mahogany walking stick with a carved shrunken head topping it. "Cor blimey, gov'nor! I reckon Dick Van Dyke, hisself could do the 'Old Bamboo' wiv this fella." The Colonel was a man who could adapt easily. "Ahm glad you approve of my gift." "Ain't me approveratin', mister." He grinned through yellow teeth and tapped a grubby finger to his wide, menacing brow. "It's on account of the The Great god, our Lizard Oracle, init? Oh, and ladies, he's telephathizering me right now, saying he likes he look of that mirror and locket, too! Now, lets hot-foot it to the village before night-fall. I'm Hank* and it's beans al a mode, for tea." As they traipsed off by torch light and a jungle-mix-massive of drum an bass the sea behind them bubbled threateningly before erupting the previously tossed sailor. The soggy, sea-weed draped Bosun wasn't half as surprised as Harve, the albatross, to find themselves straddling the scaly pate of a rather grumpy Lizard Oracle. *Hank Marvin = starving |
| The wonders of Fig Mint were only beginning it seemed. Credula took the Colonel's arm to keep him from blundering into trouble inadvertently, and led him after the natives while Jennie flitted alongside the Captain behind them. They entered the palmetto forest through a canopied opening and walked along a path edged with glittering black volcanic glass. The sight that they beheld when they reached the clearing that lay in the center of the village left Credula, frankly incredulous. She and Jennie looked at one another in wide-eyed shock, both thinking the same thing. Where did all these beautiful women come from, and do they actually breed with these male natives? The women in the village were the most beautiful women any of the party had ever seen. They would have been stared at even in Hollywood or Venice Beach; they almost seemed to have a glow about them. Credula had been known as a great beauty in her native Greece, and Jennie was a former model/actress/race car driver. In the presence of these angelic creatures, they felt a bit nonplussed. Several of the women broke away from the group that was tending a fire pit and came over to the new arrivals. One with blonde hair smiled and said with a voice like warm honey, "Welcome to our island. We heard the men talking about you. The Oracle will be so pleased to speak with new and interesting people from afar. He grows tired of seeing only us, as we are all just his children. Come, we will help you to relax and freshen yourselves. Then we can return for the feast. Tomorrow you will be taken to the Grotto of the Lizard Oracle, but tonight we must have a great celebration to prepare the Oracle and his visitors. You will enjoy it, I think." She took Credula by the hand and another dark-haired woman took Jennie's and led them to the huts on the opposite side of the clearing. Credula looked back and saw the Captain and Colonel being led similarly, but by the men. The Captain knew the women would be well taken care of, he wouldn't let his meal-ticket get lost before he settled up his wages. That Credula woman was a flake, but she was smart enough to only offer him half the payment for his services in advance, with the other half to come when she was safely back on American soil. As he was thinking about his money, he suddenly remembered his bosun. I wonder where that Ishmael got off to. Probably sulking from that dunk in the water. "Ha!" he said aloud. Then turned back the way they had come and shouted, "Bosun Ishmael! Come along when ye be over yer feckless feelin's!" |
| The Colonel's tufty eyebrows climbed as he eyed the luscious beauties. Eventually said eyebrows had nowhere left to hide, as his head was bald and shiny, so they settled back into place. "Harrumph!" he cleared his throat. "Whut hev we heah?" A few of the beauties rolled their eyes and one or two turned away laughing, but Colonel Standwood affected not to notice, a feat made easier by the fact that he was now being led away to the mens' huts. With a quick sly glance toward Credula and a check over his shoulder to make sure the Captain and that pesky Bosun weren't following too closely, he leaned toward his escort. "Say, mah man! I heah theah's legends of burrreed treasuah roun' these pahts! Whut say y'all to that?" The man also glanced back at the Captain, who was several steps to the rear, then turned to the Colonel with a knowing gleam in his eye. "Just be patient till after nightfall. Wait through the feast, and after everyone is asleep for the night, I'll come to the hut and find you. I'll show you exactly where to look for the island's treasure!" The Colonel's greed knew no bounds, so he simply nodded and looked blissful, lost in thought. His pudgy fingers twisted and unclenched as he considered the abundance of loot the island was sure to offer up. Meanwhile, his escort looked away and chuckled to himself at the vision of tossing the Colonel into the dormant volcano's mouth. |
| Riding high, and just a little queasy with the motion of it, Bosun Ishmael and his pet albatross, Harve, rode above the tree line on the head of the Great Lizard Oracle. It had been a strange trip, he mused. Normally, odd, strange and mysterious things happened, but this trip seemed rather tame in comparison to last years adventure with Mrs Pillson's Mysterious Muffler of Mystery. Harve pecked of one of the Bosun's nipples in friendly agreement, as the dazed sailors eyes beheld the raucous partying of the natives in a clearing up ahead. Ah, he nodded sagely. Looks like the Oraclizeration Ceremony is underway - I do hope its Bean Surprise for tea.. Upon seeing the Great Lizard Oracle, the nubile natives stopped nubiling and a hush descended on the crowd. All eyes fell upon their god as he took up position at the base of the volcano to serve up wisdom to those gathered. The Bosun had wondered when the best time to 'disembark' the gods head might be. On realizing he would always look like an undignified parasite falling off a giant lizard, he ran toward the tip of the Lizards nose and launched himself into a perfect swan dive - even rustling up a "Geronimo!", as he gave Harve the chance to remember what his wings were for. It was therefore with some surprise he managed the most perfect of landings in the native's huge cooking pot. Yes!, he mentally enthused before passing out in joy, Bean Surprise! He was fished out and the children were allowed to bring spoons. (This years feast would be henceforth remembered as Bean Surprise with Salty Sailor Seasoning.) Meanwhile, the leader rose and faces the Great Lizard Oracle, spread wide his arms and spoke in a thunderous voice: "Oh, Great and powerful Lizard! Tomorrow we will visit your temple of knowledge: The Grotto of the Lizard Oracle, but tonight celebrate and bring you these gifts!" This said, more natives appeared in front of the Oracle and presented the gifts from earlier: the mirror, the locket, the cane and, from the children the unconscious Bosuns albatross, Harve. In one fell swoop of his giant lizard tail, the whole lot was scooped up and deposited carefully within his jaws. Tomorrow at the Grotto would prove very interesting. But tonight was all about partying and eating beans! Little did the Colonel know, his very life would depend upon building up plenty of methane to help save him from the belly of the volcano! |
| After she had gotten over her initial shock of seeing the lizard enter the clearing so nonchalantly unremarked by the natives, and the Bosun's extravagant entrance, Credula stared at all the bean-based dishes and cringed. One of the female natives noticed and grinned. She was sprinkling some glittery powder into her food and offered it to Credula and Jennie. The woman said, "It will prevent the gas, but you will have strange dreams." She smiled and winked as Credula shrugged and dumped some onto her food. Jennie followed suit, and they were glad later, as they could actually see the miasma that arose from the men's downwind side of the clearing--they knew now where the smelly fog had come from. After the feast, the natives danced and the adventurers and the ship's crew all joined in, Credula laughing and dancing with the Captain, the bean-covered Bosun, and several of the natives, all but the Colonel, who was eyeing the vegetation and kept glaring at one of the native men. He harrumphed off to his designated hut after awhile, but everyone else kept up the celebration well into the night. Credula finally fell asleep in the fragrant bedding of her hut, lulled by the faint singing still coming from the last hangers-on at the fire. She dreamed of lizards and volcanoes, huge monkeys and beautiful women, she watched and was a part of it all. She even thought she dreamed she heard the Colonel saying "Ah, yes, mah man, lead me to tha Treasuah!" She awoke in the morning refreshed and happy. She had come to see the Oracle, and she had; to speak with it would be icing on her already towering cake of fulfillment. She prodded Jennie awake, and they made their way out to the clearing, it was well past daybreak and all the mess from the party was gone. A large cookpot now bubbled with what smelled like breakfast beans. The Captain was sitting on a log with his emptied bowl, and gestured to her to eat. She took a bowl and smiled gratefully at Margrete, the same woman from last night, who sprinkled a bit of the powder on her food and winked. Joining the Captain, Credula asked, 'Have you seen the Colonel this morning? I would have thought he was an early riser." She settled onto the log by the Captain. "No, can't say as I've seen the old man. Ye be looking sprightly this mornin', lass." he said. "I had the most wonderful dreams, but I can't really remember them now." she said, and frowned a little. "I think they were about wonders and travels, but they 're fading away." A strange staccato drum beat started up and Credula looked around as the natives let out a cheer. Margrete said, "He is ready! We must now go to the Grotto of the Lizard Oracle." She gestured toward the volcano and a path that Credula hadn't noticed before. "Come." Credula and the Captain rose and followed the natives now making their way down the path. They still didn't see the Colonel. Credula asked Margrete, "Have you seen the Colonel? I haven't seen him since the feast. Is he awake? Shall we see if he's still in his hut? I'm sure he won't want to miss the Oracle." The woman smiled knowingly and said, "Your Colonel will miss nothing, and if I'm not much mistaken, he may have already had a visit with the Oracle that he will not soon forget." Credula gasped. She asked, "Did he do something foolish in the night? Is he alright?" She covered her mouth with her hand and looked with wide eyes, knowing what a blustery fool the Colonel was. Margrete chuckled softly, and said, "He will be fine, but I think they may have had some sport with him. Father Lizard and the boys can be mischievous at times." Credula raised her eyebrows, but did not ask more about the Colonel. Instead, she asked, "You call the Lizard your Father... Is he really your father?" Margrete smiled and nodded, "He did not mate with our mothers, if that is what you mean, but he is our Father in spirit and our guiding light. We would be lost without his gentle teaching and care. He is the reason we have survived and prospered. HIs wisdom keeps us secure. It is he who taught us to send our children away to learn of the world. Had you noticed there were no children here?" Credula said, "Well, yes, now that you mention it." Margrete said, "They will return with the next season, when their education is finished for the year. Father has us send them all over the world. This is why many of us speak with differing accents. Of course some just do that to show off." She gave a meaningful look at a young man they were passing. He said, "G'day, mates." and winked. Credula asked, "Will we really be able to talk with the Oracle?" Margrete said, "Yes, of course, that is why he wants us to bring visitors to him. He likes to share his great wisdom with those who need it. Ah, here we are." There was an opening in the lower side of the volcano wall that emitted a pale reddish glow. The walls were carved with pictures of monkeys and lizards. They ducked under the entrance, but when they entered, the ceiling vaulted high above them and the walls had openings along the way where the glow from the volcano's heart shone through. They stared in awe at the display. Gold that glinted in the fiery light was tossed in a heap with sparkling jewels and ancient artifacts. Dominating it all was the huge Lizard Oracle. Credula thought, The dinosaurs couldn't have even been that big! A voice came in her head then. It said, "I am no dinosaur, but my magic is ancient. I speak now only to you. You are a traveler with spirit, but you will die young if you do not learn caution. You found a good man in Captain Ted, but you are likely to stumble upon those that are not. Trust should be guarded closely." The voice stopped and she looked around at her companions. It seemed they were all listening to something, too. Something she could no longer hear. |
| The reddish glow captured Jennie's attention as she came into the clearing. The sound emitted from the Lizard Oracle was magical and demanded to be heard. Jennie listened intently to the voice that was speaking directly to her. "Believe in your instincts and know that what you think is right usually will not lead you astray. Go to the one who needs you now. Yes, you do know what I speak of." Jennie looked around at the others in the group and realized that the voice was speaking to each one. The secrets the Oracle told were only to those who listened. There were several in the group who looked around as nonbelievers. Jennie knew exactly what the Lizard Oracle meant. The man he spoke of was sick and she had hesitated to go to him. Yes, she knew she needed to and she would; just as soon as she set foot back on home soil. |
| Colonel Standish Standwood had spent a seriously rough night. Awakened from a flatulent dream of treasure piled high than the island's mountain, he found himself being shaken by the native bearer with whom he had communed earlier. Finger to lips and shaking his head, the man continued to shake the Colonel until he finally arose from the rush mat, and beckoned him outside and to a narrow rarely-traveled path the Colonel had not noticed earlier. Of course the Colonel had been suffused to the brim with the tasty and filling supper and the only path that concerned him prior to sleep was the path to the outdoor privy trench. Now he could see as the man continued to urge him forward onto this odd path, that a strange phosphorescent glow lit portions of the path and wispy lights danced in the jungle to either side. Also the path wove uphill at an extraordinary angle, creating difficulty immediately for the portly Colonel who now lacked his walking stick. But the native continued to urge him on with the whispered word, "Treasure, treasure," and it almost seemed the Colonel could hear a booming voice inside his mind urging him forward. Wal, it must be the Will of the Great Oracle thet Ah find this mahlous treasuh! At that thought, the Colonel gained a second wind of determination and pushed himself onward, feeling propelled by wings in his greed and anxiety to reach and bag the treasure. Soon, but not soon enough, he found himself at the apex of the path, and beheld an incredible sight: a circular opening, ridged and nearly as high as his knees, from which poured an inflamed, shifting red light. The Colonel strode closer as the voice in his head became shriller and when he reached the rim he leaned over, expecting to see mounds and mounds of heaped-up treasure, piled high and running over! But just as he leaned in to look, eyes open so wide his cheeks felt near to split, he felt a shove on his lower back and... |
| ...he toppled into the mouth of the volcano. Screaming and kicking his legs in a desperate effort to run on air, he somersaulted himself and turned facing up. At that moment all the beans he had eaten at dinner exerted their gaseous force, and he let out an enormous fart and his downward trajectory toward the bubbling lava reversed course and he shot up out of the crater like a cannonball. He landed in the top of a palm tree next to a huge toucan that looked as surprised as the Colonel. The native who had brought the Colonel up to the volcano mouth was doubled over with laughter, and was soon joined by several other village men. They helped the Colonel down from the tree congratulating him and cheering. This was Fig Mint Island's version of the bungee jump and the Colonel had provided a superb show. For his effort, the Colonel had been allowed to enter the Lizard Oracle's Grotto first. He entered the Grotto with much trepidation as he had just been spewed from the mouth of a volcano, but he rallied as he was led into the cave. The glow from the Lizard's dais reflected on his red face and he whispered "Treasuh." but then heard the Lizard's voice in his head. "You are obsessed with treasure, but gold and gems are as nothing if you have not friends you can depend on not to throw you into volcanoes" The Colonel heard a laughing echo in his mind after the Lizard spoke to him. It was now morning, and he and the men had waited until Credula and Jennie and the others arrived and were greeted by the Lizard. After he had had his private word with each of the travelers, and given them a few moments for his words to sink in, the Lizard now raised up on his four legs and moved down to where everyone was standing. His huge head was at the same level as some of the taller men's. He spoke aloud now, "When you arrived on Fig Mint Island, gifts were required of you to pay homage to me. This was partly true, but now I have gifts to return to you." He stretched out his tongue and presented the silver-backed mirror to Credula. This is your mirror you gave to me. You will find it does more now than when you gave it to me." He moved to Jennie, extending a razor-sharp claw with her locket chain draped over it. He said "This is a locket given to you by another. It had more value to you than you pretended, but it too is changed." He grinned as much as a lizard is able when he moved in front of the Colonel, and he whipped his long prehensile tail around with the Colonel's cane in its coil. "Your walking stick may be much friendlier in future. I suggest you keep it close by you." He winked one eye and turned around. The lizard climbed back up to his ledge and turned back to the travelers struck mute by this new experience. He said, "Now I will tell you what your things' new properties are. Credula, Your mirror will now show you truth. When you have doubts about a person, look into the mirror and think of them and it will tell you if your trust is wise. "Jennie, your locket will bring you news of your loved ones. It will tell you when they need you by their side. "Colonel, we had some sport with you last night. You were in no real danger, but I wished to make a point. Your greed may lead you into trouble when you ignore signs that you may be taken into peril. Your walking stick will tell you when someone means to do you harm, and since mostly that is, in your case, provoked by the way you treat others, you would be well advised to heed the stick and to think on what you may be saying or doing with respect to others. Compassion is a great 'treasuh', Colonel. "I cannot tell you how your gifts will alert you, you will have to learn how to interpret what they tell you on your own. Do not think this is some island mumbo-jumbo, because I assure you it is not. Your objects now possess properties that they did not when you brought them to me. Use them wisely. "Now I must rest, please enjoy the hospitality of my island for a while longer, before you head out for other adventures." The lizard began to back up, but an abrupt squawk sounded from near the cave floor. "Oh, I almost forgot. Bosun Ishmael, I have a gift for you as well." The Lizard turned his head toward an outcropping of rock, and said, "Harve! Come out." The albatross waddled out from behind the rock with his head down and went to stand by the Bosun. "Your gift is this, Bosun... Harve the albatross will become much less of a burden from now on. Oh, he will still get into mischief and will probably still bite you from time to time, but only when warranted." The Lizard stared a the bird, and it nodded, raising its head. "What will be different, is that he will now be a harbinger of pleasant breezes and favorable tides instead of storms and high seas." With that the Lizard Oracle turned around and went deeper into his Grotto and disappeared from sight. |
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