Optimistic Massochism

Iminent death being my sweet release from fear. I launch myself into the sea of joy I long to swim through, armed with my charter of a mortal fate. The passion monsters of the deep grab unto my body and thrash me in their murderous throes, yet I savor each tooth which breaks the skin. I bleed, i cry, my adrenaline spikes. I savor the agony each time my heart and soul is sliced open, and I cry out in pain and ecstacy. because I can feel, I am mortal and so I am alive. When it ends all the hurt fades and I am certain that I would rather, in hell, let devils fire every round of violent emotion into my delicate corpse, and rack me to the breaking point, than be forever, feel nothing, and live naught