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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1657852-An-Unusual-Intruder
Rated: E · Short Story · Contest Entry · #1657852
An unexpected end to a camping trip.
"Daily Flash Fiction Challenge
Prompt for 3/22
Write a story that includes the line: "Wake up. I heard a noise"


“Wake up. I heard a noise,” I whispered as I shook Jim’s shoulder. When his eyes popped open, I put my finger to my lips.

“There’s something out there. I’m gonna crawl over and look out the flap.”

Getting up on my knees, I moved the sleeping bag aside. The tent was small so it didn’t take long to get to my destination.

Jim had crawled up beside me. It was a cold night, and my fingers shook as I pulled up the flap zipper. When I had it open about a foot, I put my head down and tried to look out. I could see the glowing embers of our campfire but not much else. There was no moon, and the pines were thick.

I saw a large shadow pass in front of the dying fire, blocking out what little light it gave off. About to lose it, my knees started to shake so bad I had to lay down right there in front of the flap.

We had done everything the Ranger said…store all food…leave nothing out. How could this be happening? We had been so careful!

I rolled over as quietly as I could, and Jim moved into my spot.

“I don’t think it’s a bear,” he whispered. “It’s not big enough. Give me the flashlight.”

I moved my hand over the sleeping bag and all along the edge until it came in contact with the cold plastic. I passed it over. Jim pointed it out the flap and pressed down the button. I could see the spot moving around outside through the wall of the tent.

I heard a shriek and a rustling as something took off through the underbrush.

Seconds later the most awful odor I have ever smelled drifted through the tent walls.


299 words
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1657852-An-Unusual-Intruder