Ode to Saturn Ion

To the tune of "Jingle Bells."
Some words may need additional slurring to fit said tune.


Chorus:
Jingle bells
Exhaust fumes smell
The tin foil just fell off
The gas line burst and the radio's the worst
And the wipers still don't work.

Dashboard's gone
Turn signals' wrong
The muffler has a hole
The only recalls I can get
Is on stuff that's not broke yet

Verse 1:
I tried to go to work,
But when I went outside,
I tried to start my car
But the security system's fried.
When it finally did,
Much to my surprise,
The cabin then got all filled up
With exhaust fumes from outside.

Verse 2:
Electrical is shot
Turn signal won't blink on
The only good thing there
Is the dinging sound is off
I don't know what you said
The muffler's good as dead
The noise it makes is ten times worse
Than the ball bearings on the wheel

Verse 3:
The radio's a pig
It won't give CDs back
When the pipeline sprung a leak
I lost a tank of gas.
Driving down the road,
My knee bumped the keychain
When the car shut off, I had to
Restart on the road

Verse 4:
The car is made of plastic
But not of tin foil wrap,
That's because the foil
Just fell off back there.
I tried to fix the lights,
I tried to fix the wipers,
But much to my dismay, the parts
Are rusted stuck tog'ther