Gypys and writers block

Hook stood tall and proud and fearless. A supreme Emperor of pain and fear and death. A man who put the devil to shame on numerous occasions. I knew what made him the most feared pirate of our time.

“Well that was fun,” he said, “Shall we begin?”

I tossed the unfinished manuscript down and sighed. I couldn’t bear to look at it any longer. My idea of reading it aloud did nothing for the writers block. Exhaling loudly, I dared to make eye contact with my friends who were comfortably crammed into my tiny apartment. Amy, Jill, Bonnie, and Andi were scattered around my small coffee table. Andi the only one the love seat, Jill, on the bar stool closest to the kitchen entrance a few steps away, the others on the plush carpet next to and around me.
Sam, well,  he’s in the kitchen fixing my latest catastrophe.



“Well, what happens next?” Bonnie practically shouted. Her blue eyes wide and expectant. Her excitement almost palpable and contagious--very contagious.

“This is great, ooh this is going to be so good. You’re a brilliant talent you  know that, sweets?  I can’t wait to star in the movie. Amy laid a finger across her cheek. Hmmm, who will be my co-star?”

“That’s awesome, I love it, L! Jill shrieked from across the room.

Her eyes quickly reverting to the pamphlet in her hand, studying it like she would be quizzed on it later.

“You know, Disney Land has a Peter Pan ride. It’s very popular.” She waved the brochure my way.
“You should come with us next week. I guarantee you’ll have lots of fun.”

Before I could protest, her eyebrows raised as an idea spun to life. “Maybe you’ll meet someone special.” Her brown eyes lit up the room and her smile so cheerful, will chase any grey cloud that dares to creep up. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thanks for the offer, J, but I think I’ll take a rain check on that. I have an appointment with Lady G next week and I can’t miss it. I shifted my legs into Indian style and reached for the bowl of fruit. Tossing an apple to Bonnie, I picked up a few grapes and tossed them into Amy’s lap.

The gypsy? L, you didn’t tell me that you were going to see her. I would’ve requested the day off.”  Andi scolded.  Pointing a finger at me, she demanded,  “If you see a fairy, you better snap a pic and send it to me pronto! I’m serious, L!”

“She speaks to the dead, Andi. I don’t think fairies hang with dead people.” Sam chimed in from the kitchen still tinkering with my lap top.

I’m pretty sure I ruined some of the innards when I attempted to maintenance it myself, but god bless him for trying to fix it.

“Zombies! She can summon them, right? Ooh that would be so cool. I should call off. I need to know what day…” Andi trailed off reaching into her worn messenger bag, no doubt checking her tablet for an opening in her busy work schedule.

“I’m not sure they qualify as spirit dead. The living dead, yes, but have their souls left the earth? I don’t know. In fact, I don’t want to know. I am absolutely positive that I do not want to experience that. Fairies I can handle, maybe a spirit or two, but NO zombies.” I wave my hand in front of me for dramatic purposes.

“And besides, your booked for the next two months.” I glare at her, knowing she didn’t hear a word I said.

“I’m booked, swamped actually. Your on your own, L.” Slipping her tablet back into her purple bag, she dramatically sighs.

“Ahem!” Bonnie taps her nails on the coffee table that divides us. Her miffed expression reminding me of my unfinished story.

“I don’t know what happens next, B. I haven’t worked it out yet. It seems I can’t get past the first chapter of anything I write. I’m hopeless. Stories don’t come out of me in an orderly way. I can’t seem to get it together.” Running my fingers through my hair, my head finds the familiar spot between my knees.

“L, you’re a great writer. You have the talent! You just need to push through the rough patch, sweets. I have faith in you,” Amy said swooping an arm around me, pulling me closer. I scoot closer, allowing her to cradle me. 
“Besides, you’ve already written fifteen chapters of your novel. It’s going to be a hit. I can feel it.”  Rubbing my back tentatively like a mother does to soothe her child, she gently pulls my tight ponytail free and combs it out with her fingers before starting a French braid.
Suddenly relaxed, I lower my hands from my face and fight back the tears of desperation warring to escape.

“She’s right, L. You have the talent. It’s confidence that your lacking. Nothing a few trips to the gym with me wouldn’t fix. I’ll whip you into shape in no time.” Bonnie flexed her svelte but muscular arms, eliciting a weak smile from me.

What I love most about our weekly gatherings is that no matter how whiny I get, (and I can be emotionally needy too) my best friends are always there for me. They never judge me. No matter what I do, no matter how wacky or insane it may sound, they support me one hundred percent. It doesn’t get better than this!
Reaching into the bowl of fruit Bonnie provided, I shove a few grapes into my mouth attempting a slow and graceful chew. That didn’t work out so well when one of them came up sour, causing my lips to pucker up and my eyes to go squinty. I wonder what the gypsy would think of me now. My so called special gift can’t tell a sour grape from a sweet one.

“My appointment with Madame Gypsy was scheduled for next month. You know how busy she is and how she suddenly cancels her appointments.”  Pulling my shoulders towards my ears, I slowly swish my hands through the air to emphasize my point.

Collectively they nod in agreement. Amy purses her lips and rolls her eyes.

Pointing her finger at no one in particular, she says, “Just once I’d like to have a face to face with her and prove that she’s full of shit.” Flipping the end of my braid over my shoulder, she continued.
“Sweetie there are no such thing as ghosts. I’m a scientist. There is no factual proof that one can return from the dead, or ones spirit living on and contacting the living.”
“But,” she held up her hand at Andi’s almost protest, “ if you want to go and talk to spirits and play tag with faries, I fully and wholeheartedly support you. I only ask that you be mindful of her tricks, sweets. And don’t eat or drink anything she offers you. Hallucinogens are administered in many ways and if your all doped up, who knows what or who you’ll see.”

“Like Elvis or the Tooth Fairy?” Sam chimes in from behind me, no doubt rummaging through my junk drawer for electrical tape.

Bonnie snorted, Jill ruffled through the brochure, and Andi sighed.

“Drugs are the least of my worries, Amy. She called me a few day ago and insisted I meet up with her. She said I had a gift, a spiritual gift. Something about my minds eye being all powerful or something like that and she was obligated to train me. She wouldn’t take no for an answer no matter how freaked out I told her I was. “ I said all this like it was no big deal. Like it bored me. When really, I could hardly keep my heart from racing. It’s not everyday a famous person calls you personally.

Jill looked up from her brochure her eyes wide. “That’s so cool, L! I bet you could do extraordinary things with your gift.” The warmth radiating from her smile, reached for me and swaddled me in a comforting embrace.

My shoulders eased. I hadn’t noticed they were tense.  Shifting from Indian style to half lotus, I stretched my arms to one side then the other breathing slow and deep into the stretch like Bonnie showed me when I joined her yoga class last month.

“I have an idea, L. Why don’t you skip your appointment with the famous witch or gypsy or whatever she’s calling herself this week and finish your novel. I would love to know how it ends.” Bonnie said mimicking the child’s pose I eased into with more grace than I could pull off.

Amy passed the bowl of fruit to Andi, who was rummaging in her bag. When Andi finally took it, Amy turned her attention to me once again.

“Sweetie, you have a gift. Your talented. We know that, you know that, half of the city who read your short stories know that. You don’t need a gypsy or whatever she REALLY is to convince you, do you?”

I opened my mouth to defend Lady G, but couldn’t decide whether or not she was a real gypsy or witch, or that I have real supernatural powers like she claimed over the phone. I simply shrugged. Whether she was the read deal or some wanna-be, I’ve been waiting to meet with her over six months now, and the fact that she personally called me and requested--actually demanded I see her made me giddy and sort of proud.
She is a world famous witch or gypsy. Or both, maybe.  Queens and presidents and celebrities flock to her like bees to honey.
Her personal secretary, if your lucky enough to get through to her, is a royal bitch. The fact that I bypassed all of that was big. HUGE! Everyone knows that she is hard to get to. Oprah was on the waiting list for a year. A year! And if your wondering who Oprah is, well, just know that she does not wait.

“I think its great that your going to be trained in the magic, L. Maybe then you’ll be able to fix your own computer. As it stands, you currently do not possess the power to so that, so I will take it home and see to it that the deed is done. And, you are out of electrical tape.” Sam pointed towards the junk drawer in my kitchen then scribbled something on the refrigerators dry erase board.  Five bucks it’s a reminder to stock up on electrical tape.

Bonnie bounced up from the carpet, dusting off her workout skirt before stretching her arms above her head.
“I gotta run too. My cardio class starts in twenty and I hate to keep the ladies waiting.”

Holding out a hand for Andi, Sam pulls her up from the love seat and escorts her towards the door.

“He’s my ride so I guess I’m leaving too. Bye, L.” Blowing me a kiss, she strolls out of the door, Sam and Bonnie on her tail.

“Hey Sam,” I call after him. Turning around, he throws his hands up in question.
“How much tape do you need to fix my computer?”

Throwing his head back, he laughs. “None. Your computer needs some soldering, I’m just out of electrical tape.”

“Ha, ha.” Intending for the grape to hit his head, Sam catches it in his mouth, salutes, and marches out closing the door behind him.

A few minutes later, Jill and Amy leave after I promise Jill that I will consider going to Disney Land with her and swear that I will read the thick brochure she shoves in my hand.  An hour later, I toss it onto my coffee table and make my way through my tiny apartment into my bedroom. Settling down on the bed, I drift off for a much needed nap.  I promise myself to get to work on my novel when I wake up.

*****

The loud BANG, BANG, BANG startles me out of my bed and onto my carpet. The nightstand shook and the stagnant glass of water tipped over, finding my head a perfect spot for wetting.  Great, just great.  Pushing my soggy hair out of my eyes, I scramble up and fumble around for my cell phone. The bright light is temporary blinding and it takes me a few seconds to focus on the screen and read the numbers.
Midnight.

Who the hell bangs on someone’s door this late? Slipping my soggy slippers on, I tip-toe towards my coat closet. Quietly retrieving my baseball bat, I ditch my slippers and hold up the bat, ready to strike if it’s an intruder.

Okay, remember what Bonnie taught you in self defense class. Bring em’ down and run. Aim for the eyes and then the crotch. Remain calm. Deep breaths.

The sudden rumble of the door startles me and I lose what little composure I mustered up. The bat falls to the carpet with a quiet thud.

“Shit!” I whisper, quickly kneeling on the carpet and feel around for the bat. Got it. Once again the door rattles and shakes. I squeal, frightened by the sudden movement, and quickly bring my hands up to my mouth, smacking my head with tip of the bat, and like an idiot, I drop it again. This time there is no quiet thud when the aluminum bat bounces off of my rug and slams against the door . Of course this makes a very loud noise, silencing the ruckus on the other side. Since I am already on the ground, I peek through the crack under the door and see the lights in the hallway flickering on and off. 

Jumping up, I flip the light switch and hold my bat up, ready for anything. To tell you the truth, I’m out of my mind panicked and scared. I’ve forgotten every thing I’ve learned in Bonnie’s self defense class, what I really want to do is scream or cry or both, and now that I think of it, I have no idea where this bat came from.  Just as I began to stare at the bat in my hand, which needed to be flipped the right way, the door flung open. A strong gust of wind blew at me, pushing me backwards. With one hand hovering over my face, and the other trying to hang on to the bat, I lose my balance when the back of legs meet my coffee table. I tumble backwards and over to one side, landing in between the loveseat and the faux oak.

Wet. I’m wet again. I think it’s Andi’s Gatorade that’s dripping all over my shirt, or… nope, it’s Amy’s wine. Burgundy.

“William, you know I always enter first. That goes for you too, Lawrence.  You never know how the new ones react. I must enter first. Now, now don’t be cross. It’s simply procedure. I think you’ve already frightened her with all that banging and rattling, William. And Lawrence, you must learn to be more patient. You could of woken up the tenants with all the light flickering. You haven’t forgotten how to control your temper, have you?”  A familiar TV voice scolded. The drawn out, fake English accent meant it was Lady G.

Peaking through the table legs, I confirm the voice belongs to a woman with excellent taste in heels.

“Where are you child? Show yourself.” She demanded. The table shook, although I think it was because I hit it with my head scrambling to get up and not because I thought her loud voice could of moved the furniture.

Embarrassed, I stand and attempt to look presentable. Not sure if that’s possible at the moment, but I smile and peek around her to greet the her companions.  I discreetly kick the bat under the love seat. No need for her to see it, right?

Looking over her shoulder, she nods  towards the door and steps to the side like she’s allowing someone inside. Except no one comes in. I wave to the air before me.  Lady G begins her scrutiny, starting from my ratty wet hair, moving down to my wine stained clothing, and finally stopping at my bare feet. I wiggle my toes, glad Jill and I went for pedicures yesterday.

“Don’t be silly Lawrence, she’s not bleeding. Are you bleeding?” She asks.

“Uh, It’s…uh. Wine. It’s wine.” Fumbling with my shirt, I pull it off and toss it to the side of the room.

“Of course she speaks, William. I wouldn’t have picked a mute. Hush now, before you frighten her again.”

“Again? Is there something I should know? You know it’s the middle of the night…” I stop, interrupted by the gypsy’s raised hand.

“It is time,” She says. 

Then the lights go out. The last thing I hear is my name whispered in my ear, as cold, clammy hands wrap around my neck.