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Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Comedy · #1933841
Everyone should be this guy
INT: Day, Drugstore

Nerd walks in, he's wearing sunglasses and is walking on his toes without moving his arms and is looking at the ground.
He walks past the female clerk (who is pretty attractive) and pretends to be looking at the air fresheners. He not so slyly looks at her over his glasses and awkwardly slides over to the condom aisle next to the aisle he's in.
He chooses the biggest sized most flashy condoms he can find (Magnum XXL- BEAST) and walks to the front with them. He stops abruptly and chooses a package of pepperoni pizza combos as well. He puts them both on the counter. She rings up the combos then the condoms.

NERD
I can see the condoms make you kind of uncomfortable. Is it because they're extra large?

She looks up at him with a slightly puzzled look to see him smirking at her with his sunglasses pulled down to the tip of his nose.

CLERK
That'll be twelve thirty two.

Nerd snickers and pulls out a twenty. She rings him up and gives him his change. He takes his stuff and heads toward the door.

NERD
In case you were wondering- it's true. (Looks at her seductively)

The nerd swaggers out the door on his toes without moving his arms. As best as one could swagger if one walked like that.

After the door dings closed, the clerk runs to the window to look out after him. He's getting into a 1988 gold ford festiva with a bumper sticker that says "i brake for the tardis"

She bites her lip seductively and sighs. She's clutching the 20 dollar bill in her hand. She brings it to her face and smells it indulgently. She then grimaces slightly and wipes something off her cheek as if it's sticky.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1933841-SelfConfident