Hell Comes In Different Forms

HELL COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS

“How did you get in here?” he demanded as he stormed into his office.

“I told the receptionist I’m your sister,” she replied hesitantly, her whole body rigid with stress.

“Hmm – I’ll have to tighten up the security around here.  So what exactly do you want with me?  I thought we’d agreed there was nothing more to say to each other?”

Sally hesitated, seeming to gather her thoughts.  “I … I wanted … I wanted to apologise to you,” she continued in a rush.  “I made some completely untrue accusations, and my only excuse is I didn’t know the truth at the time.”

“In other words, you weren’t prepared to trust me.”

“No.”

He kept his mouth shut, knowing the choice was hers, and she had to make the running.

Sally and Mike had been an “item” for a couple of years and she ticked three important “V” boxes; she was vibrant, vivacious and volatile.  But when they spilt, she added another “V”, a much less attractive one.  She became violent.  The break was sudden and, for Mike, wholly unexpected when it came to a head a few days previously.  Mike had been at a wine bar with friends when Sally burst in, screaming at him.

“You cheating rat.  I saw you making out with that bimbo Marcie Langton and she told me that you were seeing each other.  Don’t deny it.  I saw it with my own eyes; so did Laurel.”

“Sally, just let me explain, it’s not what …”

He got no further before Sally launched herself at him, spitting and scratching.  Mike covered his face while his friends held Sally off.

“That’s right, stand up for the cheating bastard,” she spat, hysterical with rage.  “I never want to see your ugly face again.  If you try to contact me, I’ll call the cops and get a restraining order.”  And she ran from the bar.

The silence was almost physical.  “You okay?” Brad asked, and Mike looked bemused, almost empty of any emotion.

“Yeah, thanks guys; I think I might get going,” and he left abruptly.

“You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”  Sally’s voice held the edge of tears, and jerked Mike back to the present moment.  He could see her eyes starting to glimmer, but her rigid shoulders and tight mouth showed her attempt to stay under control.

“Give me one good reason why I should?”

“Oh God, Mike, what do you want me to say?  I was stupid?  I destroyed a great relationship?  I was a jealous bitch?” her voice overflowed with pain.  “Laurel told me Marcie had been stalking you, believing you wanted her, and you were actually holding her off.  Laurel said you told Marcie to back off in no uncertain terms.  I guess she wanted revenge when she told me you wanted to be with her.  If you really need me to grovel, I guess I’ll have to.”

With that, she could no longer hold the tears back and wept uncontrollably, her face contorted in misery.

Mike knew his options were limited; he could take her in his arms and comfort her, which may have been what she wanted, even if it was a subconscious wish.  But would that resolve anything, he wondered.

“I … I … just wanted … to get back … back to where we were,” she sobbed.

“Sally, there is no going back.  What’s done is done and we can’t change it.  Given your lack of trust, your unwillingness to listen to me and what happened as a result, I don’t know whether I want to try to start again.  I really thought we were finished with each other and we were going our separate ways.”

Sally’s tears stopped but her wretchedness deepened.  “Mike, I do care about you.  I know I said and did some really hurtful things—those words, those actions were the biggest mistakes of my life and I bitterly regret what happened.  Is there nothing I can do or say to help us find a way to be together again?  As God is my witness, I promise I’ll never treat you like that again.”

“Yeah, I hear you, Sally, but that’s just words.  Trust is a fragile thing, like a piece of fine china.  If you break it, you can’t glue it back together again.”

“Okay, Mike, I get it.  You don’t want anything more to do with me and I suppose I’ll have to live with your decisions.  It wasn’t all bad; we had some great times and we were good together.  Still, your choice, I guess – I can’t force you to like me.” 

He looked closely at the woman standing in front of him shaking with emotion.  Her bright blue eyes now red rimmed with tears, her mop of curly black hair looking unkempt and her soft mouth turned down in misery.  He had loved this woman unconditionally but, to his mind, she had betrayed his love when she accused him of having an affair with another woman, and it hurt him deeply.  He decided now was neither the time, nor place for that matter, and tears or not, he couldn’t find it in him to forgive her.

She turned to leave.

“Sally, I understand your willingness to apologize, but the pain is too recent and the hurt too deep for me to accept it right now.  I …”

She closed the door quietly and disappeared from his life.

Mike was a junior psychologist just starting out in a big practice, and the quality of his work had been widely recognised.  His future looked bright and he revelled in his work.  Things changed after the break with Sally; the quantity actually increased but the quality diminished.  Ten days later, Shelley Samson, one of the senior partners, Mike’s mentor and good friend walked into his office and closed the door behind her.

In other societies, Shelley would have been called a “wise woman”.  She seldom dressed as the archetypal “professional woman”, preferring comfort to style, with short, cropped grey hair and piercing blue eyes.  Shelley lived in a lesbian relationship with her partner of many years, and she could be intolerant of male machismo.  But her clients loved her and her colleagues respected her undoubted skills.

“Okay, Mike, spill the beans.  What’s going on?”

“What do you mean, Shelley?  Nothing’s “going on” as you put it.”

She sighed.  “Don’t bullshit me, Mike.  You’re putting in more hours than almost anyone else, but some of your recent work has left a little to be desired.  You’re better than that; I want to know why things are slipping, and I’m not moving from here until you tell me.”

He sighed and looked away.  “I’ll give you three guesses, Shelley.”

“Oh, woman trouble, hey?  So what’s happened?”

Mike knew he had no option but to explain.  In any case, Shelley was smart and he trusted her.  He gave her an outline of what had happened.

“I see.  So, Mike, what would you tell one of your clients if he gave you a similar story?”

“Yes, I know,” he grinned.  “Physician, heal thyself.  Well, I would ask him what he really wants, deep down where he lives, where he can’t escape from himself, then how he would go about achieving such an objective.”

“Uh-huh.  And for you?”

“I don’t know, Shelley, I really don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.  You’re just too stubborn, too macho to admit it.  Don’t try to cop out, Mike, just let it all go and tell me the truth.”

He hesitated, realising that Shelley’s simple prescription presented huge difficulties in practice.  It meant he would need to drop his shields and confess his deepest feelings.  He looked into Shelley’s unwavering eyes and sighed.

“I just can’t put one over you, can I, Shelley?  You’ve been in this game too long.  Okay, if I need to strip my soul bare, I can’t get Sally out of my mind and I want to see her again, even if it’s only to find out if there is something there.  I realise I treated her badly when I refused to accept her apology.  My only defence, and it’s a weak one, is the hurt was still too fresh and I rationalised that I needed more time to process all the emotional turmoil the incident put me through.  If there is a chance for us, fine, we might be able to get back together; if there isn’t, I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and move on.”

“Good boy.  So, what are you going to do about it?”

“Yeah, I’ll hunt her up in the places she used to hang out and see if we can talk, although I haven’t noticed her around recently.  Maybe I’ll start by asking our friend, Laurel, if she can make an initial approach to Sally.”

“Whatever works, Mike, only don’t leave it too long.”

“Shelley, I got locked into my own self-pity and you’ve smashed the lock for me.  I owe you big time for this; we’ll name our firstborn after you.”

She left with an amused snort.

Mike chewed over his options and eventually rang Laurel, asking if she knew Sally’s whereabouts.

“I’ve no idea Mike; she seems to have disappeared off the map.  I’ve been flat out recently and I haven’t seen her.  Why do you ask?”

“To cut a long story short, Laurel, I’ve been a fool and I want to try to see her and at least talk.  It may be a waste of time, but I want to try.”

“Tell you the truth Mike, I’m a bit worried about her.  It’s not like Sally to disappear like this.  I’ll put out some feelers and see if anyone around the traps has any news.”

Mike thanked his friend and left it at that.  Still, he thought, it won’t hurt to do some investigation myself.  He started at the beauty parlour where she worked but drew a blank; Sally had taken some leave and wasn’t expected back for at least another fortnight.  Her mobile phone seemed to be permanently turned off and she didn’t answer any of his messages.  There was no answer when he visited her flat; he tried again some days later but there was still no answer.  He left a note under her door, but with no great hope of any response.

Mike thought briefly about ringing her parents, but they lived overseas and he had no contact details.  In any case, he knew her relations with her parents were strained.  He even contacted the police to report a missing person, but they told him that as a mature adult, she could make her own decisions, and as there was no evidence of harm or “foul play”, they had no basis for any formal action.  However, they noted his report and gave him a report number.

At this point, Mike felt there was little else he could do, but his worry index started to rise.  And then he became involved in a major child abuse case, working closely with Shelley, and he knew he had to be on top of his form.

His worry over Sally took a back seat for a short time while they worked through the sordid mess that this high profile case had become.  Continual media attention didn’t help, with people wanting instant answers, but fortunately Shelley was highly adept at handling this side of the investigation.

After all the loose ends had been tied up, Mike relaxed at the nearby wine bar—the same place that Sally had confronted him.  He knew Sylvie the bartender reasonably well; she was popular with the clientele but made sure that her bar ran smoothly.

Mike must have looked quite gloomy as Sylvie asked what the problem was.

“Does it show that much, Sylvie?” he sighed.

“Oh, I get it, woman trouble,” she replied.  “Wouldn’t have anything to do with that curly headed bimbo who went for you a few weeks ago, would it?”

“I was pretty pissed off with her, Sylvie, but I wouldn’t call her a bimbo.  Now I’d like to get back in touch and see if we can’t sort things out.  But I can’t find her and I’ve no idea where she’s gone.”

“Hmm.”  Sylvie seemed to be staring into middle distance, but returned her attention to Mike.  “Look, it’s none of my business, but I’ve seen her in here with a guy named Jack Cale, who happens to be Marcie Langton’s brother.  In fact, I’ve seen them all together, and your friend seemed to be palling up with Marcie.”

“Shit.”  Mike’s terse expletive caused Sylvie to flick an eyebrow, but she said nothing.  “What the hell would Sally have in common with Marcie, not to mention her brother … unless she was trying to make me jealous.  She must have known that story would get back to me.  Sylvie, do they get in here often?”

“I haven’t seen Marcie or your friend Sally for quite a while.  But Cale has been in here, regularly, like every Friday evening, talking to a very unpleasant looking guy in a highly confidential manner.  I suspect they’re talking about drugs, but I don’t have any real evidence.”

“Today’s Thursday, so he should be back tomorrow evening.  About what time, Sylvie?”

“Around seven thirty, give or take.”

Mike thanked Sylvie and left for the evening, returning the following evening around six o’clock.

“Do me a favour, please, Sylvie and point Cale out to me.  I’ll hang around until he leaves and follow him home.”

Sylvie looked at Mike levelly.  “For God’s sake be careful, Mike—Cale isn’t a very nice man.”

Mike ordered a beer and settled to wait.  It was a long wait, but just before eight o’clock, Sylvie nodded her head at Mike.

“That’s him in the corner, talking to the guy with the shaven head and tatts.”

Mike waited with growing impatience until the business conference ended and he followed Cale out of the bar at a discreet distance.  Cale got into a SUV and headed out of the car park with Mike following.  A short drive took them to a nondescript house in a downmarket suburb.  The lights were out as Cale pulled in to the driveway and let himself into the house.

Mike waited for a short while, then moved quietly into the property and listened intently at the front door.  He moved to the back of the house where he could hear the sound of raised voices, then his blood ran cold as he heard a woman scream.  It was clearly a scream of fear; Mike realised something was wrong and his mind imagined Sally in all sorts of trouble.  He knew he had to act.

Mike quickly returned to the front of the house and banged heavily on the door.  The scream was repeated, louder this time, and suddenly the door was flung open.  Sally struggled in the doorway trying desperately to free herself from Cale’s grip on her left wrist.  “Help me,” she shrieked.

Mike had never considered himself to be the violent sort, but now his vision became blurred by rampant fury.  And he was helped enormously but unintentionally by Sally.  In her struggles, she slipped and fell sideways, opening up Cale to Mike’s assault.  Unwilling to release his grip on Sally’s wrist, he only had one fist for attack or defence.

With no intention of fighting fair, Mike took a step closer to Cale—and spat in his face.  That produced the intended result.  He released Sally’s wrist as both hands came up to wipe the muck out of his eyes, accompanied by a few choice descriptions of Mike.  As Cale’s hands came up, his groin was unprotected, and Mike’s right foot made contact with considerable force.  Cale screamed in agony, now moving his hands down to protect himself from further depredation, uncovering his face and allowing Mike the luxury of a powerful short-arm jab across the bridge of Cale’s nose.  The red gusher was accompanied by a satisfying crunch as his nose broke and Cale collapsed on the floor, bleeding and howling.

It was only then that Sally looked up and saw her rescuer.  Her eyes almost bugged out of her head and she screamed, “Mike? Oh God, how come you’re here?  How did you find me?  Oh please, Mike, please take me away from this hell hole.”

“All in good time, my love, first we need to deal with this scum.”

Cale was struggling to get up, but Mike shoved him down and held him on the floor with his foot, stamping hard on one hand.

“Sally, I’m going to use my belt to bind up his wrists, so please forgive me if my pants fall down.”

Tears streamed down Sally’s face, shocking Mike deeply.  She looked wholly unlike the Sally he had last seen, now gaunt and hollow eyed with a look of despair on her face.  Worse, there were signs of bruising around her cheek bones but she sobbed with relief at her rescue from Cale’s abuse.

Mike matched his words with his actions, binding Cale’s wrists firmly.  He then rang the police, explaining the situation and quoting the original missing person report number.  He was informed that a patrol would be sent as soon as possible.  Mike held Sally close while keeping an eye on their captive for an increasingly tense fifteen minutes.  The patrol car eventually arrived, containing a male and a female officer.

They questioned him at some length, although Mike was barely able to contain his frustration.  Sally provided corroborating evidence, and a preliminary search of the house revealed some packets of a suspicious white powder.

“Okay, sir, we’ve called an ambulance and they will take Ms Gartrell to hospital for observation.  We’d like to ask you a few questions, Ms Gartrell, if you could, but we’ll need a formal statement from you later.”

Sally nodded and answered some basic questions about her captor, how she came to be there and Mike’s role in her rescue. 

“If there is anything you need to take with you, Ms Gartrell, you might like to collect it now to save having to return here later.”

Sally and Mike made a quick sweep before the ambulance arrived which took them both to the local hospital.  The experience had distressed Sally, but fortunately her injuries were superficial.  Even so, the doctor wanted to keep her overnight for observation.  Mike stayed with Sally until she was settled, but didn’t press her for details of her ordeal. 

He returned home and rang Laurel to give her the news.  She was relieved to hear that Sally was okay, and demanded that she go to the hospital with Mike to pick Sally up the following day.  Mike agreed, with a secret sigh of relief; he was still far from certain about the status of his relationship with Sally, and Laurel would be an excellent mediator.

They collected Sally from the hospital the following day and returned to Laurel’s unit.  “Mike.  I want to thank you so much for rescuing me from that pig but … after we … you know, we broke up, sort of.  Please don’t feel I’m not totally grateful, but … I really would like to have a heart to heart with Laurel.”

Mike smiled.  “That’s okay, Sally, I think some girl talk is just what you need right now.  Just let me know if you’d like to talk to me as well, and I’ll be right over.”

Laurel called him that evening.  “Sally really does want to see you, Mike, but she’s scared about what you’ll say.  She remembers back to last time and … well I guess you can work it out for yourself.”

“Tell her I’m on my way, Laurel—no recriminations, no hard words.  I just want to know she’s okay.”

Mike arrived at Laurel’s place with a minimum of delay to find Sally sitting quietly on the settee, hands folded in her lap, looking very demure and very apprehensive.  After they were all well supplied with coffee and cookies, Sally told them her story.

“I’d been really down after the break with Mike, and started to drink a lot more than I was accustomed to, trying to cope with the loneliness and guilt I felt about the breakup.  During one jag, a guy called Jack Cale picked me up and came onto me very strongly.  He was good looking, in a rather obvious way, seemed genuine and was very generous.  We met regularly,” Sally confessed, in a tight voice, “and he persuaded me to have sex with him.  Although I didn’t know at the time, he also made a movie of that first session.  He eventually persuaded me to stay with him for what he said would be ‘just a few days’.”

“That was the beginning of the end for me.  Soon after I moved in, he became abusive; I tried to leave, but he showed me the movie he made and threatened to release this on the internet if I didn’t do just as I was told.  He also revealed that he was Marcie Langton’s brother, and threatened to give her a copy to show Mike.  In his twisted mind, he thought that Marcie could paint a distorted and abusive picture of me to Mike to get back into his good books.”

“I still cared about you, Mike, in spite of everything that had happened between us.  I hoped that we could get back together, and I wasn’t prepared to allow Cale to use the movie that way.  So I told Cale I would stay with him, but after that, he took to locking me in a cupboard whenever he went out to ensure I wouldn’t change my mind and run out on him.  Then recently he forced me to take amphetamines, although I hated them.  They made me sick and I tried to escape, but he caught me and bashed me.”  Sally touched her fingers to the now fading bruises.

At this point, she burst into tears.  “Oh Mike, I’ve missed you so much.  Thinking of you was the only thing that got me through these last days and if I ever saw you again, I wanted to throw myself into your arms and beg you to take me back and to love me like you used to and …”

Mike stopped her the best way he knew how.  He sat next to Sally and held her close, kissing away the tears and making soft soothing sounds.

“Sally, I’ve missed you too.  I was so stupid over our arguments and if I’d had half a brain and just a little more heart, you wouldn’t have had to go through all this.  I’m so sorry, Sally; I blame myself for you getting into this situation, and I feel like throwing myself into your arms and begging you to take me back and to love me like you used to.  I’ll do anything I can to help you and to make up for it.”

“Anything?” Sally asked with a hint of laughter in her voice.

“Yes.”

“In that case, you’d better kiss me.  That’ll do—for a start.”

Mike held Sally in his arms and gentled her lips before she grabbed his head with her hands and replied with a deep, needy kiss, releasing the fear and loneliness she felt at being away from him.

Laurel smiled and left the room.  “She’s a good friend, Sally,” he said, sitting down and pulling her onto his lap.  Mike thought that she had lost a lot of weight, and he made a note to himself to make sure she put at least some of it back.

“By the way, Sally, you’re going to have to face the fact that you will have to testify against that bastard Cale, and you may have to face him again in court.  He’s been remanded in custody, so he won’t be able to threaten you, but his trial will come up eventually.”

“I know, Mike; it won’t be easy, but if I have you and Laurel on my side, it’ll be worth it.  Anything to stop him doing the same thing to some other young woman.”  Sally looked up, deep into his eyes.  “You will be there for me, won’t you, Mike?  You will be in my corner cheering for me?”

“Of course I’ll be there—try keeping me away.  But you have been through a horrible and traumatic time and I think it might help if you at least debriefed with a psychologist.”

“Why?” she asked.  “You’re one and I’ve got you.  What more do I need?”

“Hmm, that’s all very well, but I’m emotionally involved.  Would you talk to Shelley Mason at work?  I’m sure you’ll get on really well with her, and she can help you deal with any stuff that you may not want to talk to me about, at least straight away.  And she’ll be in your corner as well.”

“Okay, Mike, I’ll give it a try if you can arrange it.  Now, where were we?”  She laughed and burrowed her head into the crook of his neck, murmuring, “Oh Mike; can we start again?  Can we put the past behind us and see if we can make a new future?  Can we …”

“Sally, we need to talk about us,” Mike interrupted.

She sat up looking deep into his eyes, fear chasing the warm smile from her face, then she sighed, “I guess so, Mike, but can I please go first?”

He nodded and Sally started, “Mike, do you have any idea what it’s like to both love and hate someone at the same time?”

“As it happens, Sally, I do.  I was lucky; I was able to burn out the hate fairly quickly, leaving me where I knew I should be, and wanting to find you, apologise to you and tell you how much I cared.  But you’d disappeared off the radar.”

“I know,” she replied.  “In my case, I wanted … no, I needed to hurt you.  I wanted revenge for you rejecting me, and I managed to deflect any responsibility on my part into a sort of emotional trash can.

I wanted to show you that I could have a good, fulfilling relationship with a decent guy, and that overwhelming desire for revenge blocked out any logic or commonsense.  I knew Marcie Langton had a lot of male friends; perhaps she would divert one in my direction.  She did, although I conveniently ignored what I knew about her; what a slut she is and that any male friends of hers wouldn’t be worth a second look.  Even worse, she introduced me to her loser brother, and I didn’t realise until it was too late.”

“Then he got me into bed; not that I needed much persuasion at that time.  I decided I would let people know how good it had been and make sure that message got back to you.  Huge, HUGE mistake.  I didn’t realise that he was filming this encounter, but anyway, he was pretty miserable in bed, just your basic, ‘Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.’  I tried to spice it up a bit, more for my pleasure than his, but what came out on the movie was me behaving like a total slut.”

“I think that was when I realised what a complete and total idiot I’d been.  Jack Cale showed himself to be a vicious loser, who seemed to enjoy humiliating and abusing me.  But the odd thing was that it showed me how much more decent you had been to me and what a fool I’d been trying to hurt you like that.  From that moment on, I knew I had to see you again and beg for your forgiveness.  Then a miracle happened.  I rushed to answer banging on the door, even though Cale tried to drag me away—and there you were.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so angry, and you obviously knew how to take him out, even if you didn’t fight according to the rules,” she finished with a laugh.

“Mike, I know trust is a delicate flower, and it will take some time and a lot of hard work for it to grow again.  I’ve got plenty of words, but the only real test is in my actions.  Will you please give me another chance to really show how much I care?”

“Sally …” Mike started, then gathered his thoughts together.  “The simple answer is ‘yes’, but you’re letting me off the hook too easily.  I was arrogant and self-righteous, and all that achieved was a lot of pain for both of us, more especially for you.  Look, I can’t guarantee that there won’t be pain in any future that we build between us; who knows what the future holds?  But I promise you this.  I will never deliberately set out to harm you.  I’ve done it once and that was two times too many.”

“That sounds like a good deal, Mike, now we need to seal the deal some way.”  The grin on her face told Mike everything he needed to know and he gave her no chance to say any more.  He kissed her again and nipped at her lower lip.  Sally glued her lips back to his.

“Just now I offered ‘anything’, gorgeous; now I’m upping my offer to ‘everything’.”

Mike talked to Shelley who was happy to help.  She and Sally had a few sessions together, inviting Mike in at the end of the final appointment.  “This is one very courageous, very strong young woman, Mike.  The silly girl is crazy about you so just make sure you treat her right, or you’ll have me to answer to.”

“That will be my very great pleasure, Shelley.”

“Now get out of here, you two, and let me do some work,” she replied with a smile in her voice.

Sally returned to her flat and resumed her job at the beauty salon.  After a few weeks, and at Mike’s suggestion, she moved in with him, wanting to be with him all the time, and they settled into a happy, playful routine, marked by mutual respect and a joint sense of fun.

A few weeks later there was an unexpected epilogue with a visit from the same police patrol.

“Ms Gartrell, Mr Brent, I have to tell you won’t be required to give evidence.  Jack Cale has died in the remand centre.  I don’t know how to put this gently, but Mr Cale owed a lot of money to some very unpleasant people.  We suspect his murder may have been a contract killing.”

As he escorted the officers out, Mike asked, “Just so I know, can you tell me how it happened?”

“Not nice.  Apparently, he was hit very hard over the head with a piece of equipment smuggled out of the kitchen.  It may have been a beating gone wrong or deliberate murder.  No-one else saw it, or is prepared to admit to having done so, and the security cameras were inconclusive.”

Mike decided not to give Sally the gory details, and she didn’t want to know.  “I know this is an awful thing to say, Mike, but I can’t find any sympathy for him.  He put me through hell, now he’s found a hell for himself.”