Three French Hens

Three French Hens

The French hens hadn’t arrived yet. They were crucial to the small bit played by actors on stage. The seats were filling up and everyone expected a full house for the only performance of 12 Days of Christmas.

The producer rushed in with three wire cages of squawking hens and gave them to the actors in the scene.

“Here you go. Sorry I’m late, but traffic was awful.” Bob ran his hands through his hair as if that would improve its appearance. “Try to calm them down.”

The actors were already in costume and with a few minutes before showtime they tried soothing the anxious birds sporting tiny red berets.

Casey, the young suitor, tried singing to his hen. Mandy, cooed and whispered. She being the object of the suitor’s desire seemed to be the most successful, while Stuart, who would play the stern father kept yelling “shut up.”

Frazzled Bob returned and ushered everyone behind the curtain for their scene. The hens had quieted and acted like professionals, which of course they weren’t because they were chickens still in their cages.

“Okay everyone, it’s showtime.” Mandy and Stuart handed their cages to Casey and went to their marks on stage. When the curtain opened the lights went low in the audience, but they could see the rows of squirming children with their parents, all dressed in their holiday finest.

The scene begins.

Casey stood behind the door and rapped three times.

“Who can that be at this hour,” roared the father.

“I’ll get it papa,” said his daughter.

The young maiden rushes to the door and greets her suitor. “Oh! What a surprise. Please come in.”

“I have gifts for you. I hope you like them.”

Papa comes on stage and demands to know the meaning of his visit.

“Kind sir, I’ve come baring gifts for your daughter.”

“What? You bring her chickens?”

“Not just any chickens, sir.” Casey begins opening the cages. “They represent faith, hope, and love. That is how I feel for your daughter, sir.”

The father snarls, “I see something only good for eating.”

“But Papa,” chimes the daughter as she hands a hen to the young suitor, “See it is a beautiful hen. It will provide us with eggs. Her name is Faith in things we believe.” She cuddles the next hen and looks to her father and tells him, “This is Hope for the future.”

When her father only grunts, she releases the third hen. “And this is Love, forever.” She hands the restless hen to Stuart.

The hen begins flapping its wings and Stuart holds on for all it’s worth. He misses his next line. Not knowing what to do, Mandy repeats her last line.

Then she noticed his discomfort, or was it redemption for his earlier screaming at the hen to shut up? Love pooped all over him.

Stuart stood helpless, covered with Love and a mess of sweet revenge.

End of scene

Of course the children laughed and laughed.