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Rated: E · Other · Personal · #1989118
doubting myself and putting it on here to see if anyone else feels the same way?
Annoying myself, boring myself, how could anyone want to be with me? Caged by my own insecurities and isufficiencies, cut off from the real reality because I believe in a reality that's an annoying, boring, self-loathing me.



Tell me there's more. More to life than this fake reality. Than plastic faces and force-filled embraces. More to it than me stuck in a self-made cage in a zoo in a world looking in and seeing a fake molded-monkey.



More to it than a slave slaved to self-imposed fakery, and an undercover leader lead by fear.



Please break the bars around the clay-faced me-monkey, and then break the clay. Because I know what no one else knows: That I'm great and unique with undiscovered talents. I know what everyone knows: That I'm dumb and boring, unworthy of time.



I judge me even though there is nothing to judge but fake me, and well, that's not really me. If only I knew. If only they knew the real bleeding me; The uncaged and living free-in-the-trees me. But that would require bleeding rivers of vulnerable red.



Real and vulnerable monkey: that's what I want to be. What I can't be.
© Copyright 2014 Eileen Sideways (wolfskillh at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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