the torture of bipolar but writing helps

Blog- This is a torturous illness. It is sheer torture sometimes, bipolar. You have to use coping skills all the time, and I am not exaggerating. It's the worst feeling in the world, but when I wake up the next day, I am happy I didn't kill myself or commit suicide. For some reason, there is still some beauty in my life, that makes me want to keep moving forward, yeah, my stupid idiotic dumbhead, brother raped me. Not saying swear words on this site, but would call him one. He raped me 12 years ago, and been a nervous wreck since. I have finally found some inner peace. My mother also tried to choke me, I've been through assault and battery even by her a lot, in my adult years. I don't care anymore. I listen to Joel Osteen and try to get by. Jesus Christ!! As we would say , not as a swear word, but a cry for help, to come down and help me. If I could just get Joyce Meyer to get on the Oprah show, maybe I could have a PBS show, on how to cope with bipolar illness and rape and mother issues.?? !!

All this stuff caused the man I'm still totally in love with to finally break up with me. All this junk in my life, drove him away.

He still talks to me on the phone, thank God, and still let's me hang out with him. He came over yesterday and we had a good time. it's good he respects my boundaries now. So, anyhow, I am asking for help and reviews of my blogs, please writing.com people out there, please give me some support with an encouraging review!!

I need some people to help me out!!!

So, I love writing.com and want to learn this website and be on it everyday, hopefully with more encouraging blogs.

Michael is the name of my ex-boy-friend, but best friend still. He's an amazing person, and i really didn't lose him, just his feelings for me. though he says he loves me still.
well, there is a world out there waiting for me, just hard to find any other friends. got a guy friend named Harry who is also coming to a mid-life crisis. Aren't some of us?? Anyhow, need to be on this site. Please encourage me with a review.