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Rated: E · Non-fiction · Biographical · #2075669
A description of what it feels to be a woman of colour,ambitious in different country
The board room is dead silent ,l am waiting for my turn to be introduced by the spokesperson.l dread that moment all the time as everyone looks like they await to hear what this woman of colour does and what she is doing in this high profile environment .
I am not one to usually think of my skin colour as a deterent to what l want to do in my life but l guess like anyone who came from a country that was colonised there is always that part of you that is confident that your English teacher would have done a good job but im not sure ifit was my colour or what l was representing that made me feel so vulnerable yet so brave to have found myself sitting amongst these grey haired men in suits .

"Good afternoon , l am delighted to introduce our Newest Member of our team who is joining us with a huge trail of cian experience and qualifications...." the spokesperson rattles on as she looks around the room and the board members all look at her to announce the name of the "new member ".
My name is said out and all eyes turn to me .Sitting in this Board room for the very first time after years of being in the front line nursing where not much introduction is made if l am to start a new job in a ward l knew that l had actually now stepped into that anthill where l could see the big headed ants ready to attack .I quickly recall what my dad had always told me ."l don't want you to be ordinary ,l want you to remember to reach the highest you can go..."
The chair felt cold ,the leather felt icy on my back ,l looked up from my diary and the whole room was looking at me.In this room ,l sat with the members who some of them would have to be getting suggestions from me as l was the clinician in the situation giving advice to the Executives .
I smile ,not sure if it was a smile or a show of teeth ,"Good Afternoon everyone,its a pleasure to have this opportunity to join this great company and l hope l will get to contibute to my best ability ,knowledge and experience to all the great standards l have seen around the company in the past few days..."My voice whails off as l continue with intoducing myself and say as much as l can about myself and almost justyfying why l was the right person to be seated in that role .
l am usually one to think that opportunities at work should be the same but l guess at times l have to double doubt myself on that one and this moment was an example that l had to prove that l could actually fill the shoes of the guy who had left the position ...well not sure if l could fit them anyway ,l hear he was a size 13 and l am just on the 6 ....l laugh inwardly at the thought of it .
"So you said you did your Nurse Training in Africa ?"
"Where you taught in English ?"
"So was it difficult to learn English when you got here?"
I try to take in these questions l have been asked so many times before and at that moment l realised that l was different but who am l now ?
I am an Immigrant
l am a Professional
l am a woman of colour
l am a professional trying to reach greater heights and get out of the mainstream
l am an African Woman ...no l am Australian by the way ...have got that certificate
l am the Woman who has pushed that ceiling and is still trying to climb the ladder
l am the woman who sits and hangs out with the artist
l am the woman who would have a "Coffee " with the Caucasian guy
l am the little black dot that you see in the crowd of white heads in the Enterpreneaur morning catch ups
I am ........
I can go on forever talking about all that l feel and think l am .l look at my friend's daughter Za ...l think to myself ..she is going to be a woman of colour one day ,have we managed to put together enough of a picture for her to understand who she is ,a woman of colour expected to behave like an African woman in an Australian society?
Who am l ?
Am l the lost child ?
Am l lost due to cirmustances ?
Am l found because l can make my decisions and l don"t see colour anymore
Am l found because l have made so many friends from all walks of life because l am just out there to experience life
Am l lost in the qualifications and what l am trying to represent in the everyday life and the boardroom ?

Who am l ???
© Copyright 2016 Deborah Chikura (dchikura at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2075669-Who-am-l