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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2135633-Toilet-Breaks-in-Motor-Racing---New-Rule
Rated: 18+ · Article · Comedy · #2135633
A new rule will enforce toilet breaks in motor racing. Cars, motorbikes, and strategy.
Toilet breaks in Motor Racing-
There is news, that motor racing is to bring in toilet breaks.
Yes that is true, motorbikers, rally drivers, and motor car racers will not be able to do the toilet in the car, or on the motorbike.
The motor sports companies feel motor racing should be realistic, reflecting the driving conditions ordinary people have to do. And we can’t do the toilet in the car, when we are on a long drive. People would complain. After all, imagine driving one handed, what a mess.
So anyway, they will have to do the toilet in lavatories, in pit stops. Besides the point that, that is an invasion of their privacy. Just imagine the problems, with this new rule.
Imagine it!

Oh and the leading driver, is going to the pits for a toilet break. It is a piss stop.
We’re being told it is a number one. Oh no, he says he needs a number two, and will be in for a few minutes. Oh no, he hasn’t got any toilet paper.
Oh no! He has diarrhoea, and this could be a long, long stop. I think it might be a 10 stop strategy.
Oh no! There is a queue, for the toilet, and this is making the result go wild.
Oh no! There are skid marks on the track, and it isn’t rubber.
And imagine when the race gets nerve racking. Drivers will be coming in with two laps to go, in preparation of squeaky bum time.

What if some of the drivers cheat, and wear nappies?
What if someone, is the greatest racer, of all time, but needs the toilet more often, than most other drivers? And does not win the World Championship as a result.
What if a driver ends the race in first, but then they find his seat is wet. And he went in the car and avoided a pit stop?
Imagine the embarrassment for the driver on the podium, when he has his trophy take off him. And they have to explain why he was disqualified.
What if there is a dinner for all the drivers before the race? And the race organisers just serve up prunes before the race, so the drivers have to go to the toilet, over and over again.
What if one racer has more to drink, because he has been got at by a beautiful woman, who is sent to make him drink more, the night before the race, than all the other drivers?
Will some race tracks have lots of toilets, or just one? Will there be a toilet for each team?
Will there be men’s, and ladies toilets? Will a woman have an advantage if there is only one woman, because she will not have to use the queue. Although when you go to sporting events there is always a longer queue for the women’s toilet, than the men’s toilet. I don’t use the women’s toilet, but I notice there is always a longer queue for the female toilet, than the male toilet.
Will men have an advantage, because men can do the toilet standing up?
Will the people who don’t wash their hands, get an advantage?
Will there be urinals, or cubicles?
And we all know women’s toilets are like palaces, compared to men’s toilets.
Men’s toilets are covered in rude, and disgusting graffiti, expressing offensive political and sexual comments, that I am too much of a gentleman to quote. And you have to stand next to someone, while having a pee. One time I went into a men’s toilets, and the urinals were positioned sideways right bedside the door. So when you walked in, you see other men peeing side on. It was a disgusting sight to behold. What were the designers of that toilet thinking?
While women’s toilets, have pink wallpaper, and flowers, perfume smells, and luxurious mirrors, for women to do their make up, and to discuss women’s issues.
These are the issues, the motor racing authorities, have to deal with.
This new rule is just a waste of time. It is idiotic, that someone would even suggest this.

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2135633-Toilet-Breaks-in-Motor-Racing---New-Rule