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Rated: GC · Chapter · LGBTQ+ · #2189036
Adrienne and Theodora struggle with their feelings for each other.
         Adrienne grabbed her jewelry box and a few things off the dresser that weren't breakable and tossed them in with the clothes, and picked them up and headed to the car with Theodora on her heels to unlock it, carrying a few bags of her own. They tossed their bags in the back and Adrienne went back to lock up, hating that she'd eventually have to return to get her other things, but tucked the spare key into her clutch and walked back to the car, where Theodora was holding the door open for her, and got in.
         Theodora walked around the car to get into it once more, revving the engine and headed back toward her place. She looked over toward Adrienne who looked over at her almost expectantly.
         "So," Adrienne drawled, "what happens now?"
         "A new journey begins," Theodora said sounding like some video game oracle of sorts, "you're finally free to do as you please, and what the future holds is up to you."
         "Wow," Adrienne chuckled, "that was deep."
         Theodora grinned, "Yeah, well, I was trying to sound philosophical, but seriously. Whatever you want to happen next is your call. What do you want, Adrienne?"
         "I'm not sure," Adrienne said, "I feel like my whole life, especially with Jaxon, has been a total lie."
         "What do you mean?" Theodora asked.
         "Its obvious that I've never been attracted to the opposite sex. That's one thing," Adrienne said matter-of-factly, "but I've never been with a woman."
         "Would you like to be?" Theodora asked softly.
         "I-yes, but-," Adrienne stammered as she struggled to find the words.
         "But?" Theodora's brow furrowed as she drove.
         "I'm nervous, I guess," Adrienne shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I'm...scared."
         "Scared of what, exactly?" Theodora asked as she turned the car off after pulling into the lot of her apartment, "Are you afraid you might actually enjoy sex, for once?"
         Adrienne hung her head, her eyes closed, "I'm afraid I might fall for you," she blurted. She wasn't sure why she said 'you,' she'd merely meant to say 'in love.'
         Theodora reached over to gently take Adrienne's chin in her grasp and turn her gaze toward her, "Would that be such a bad thing, little one?"
         There was that nickname again, making Adrienne's breath catch in her throat, making her breasts ache to be touched, making her want her and only her, "I guess it wouldn't be so bad as long as the feelings were reciprocated. I don't think I've ever been in love with anyone. I'm not really sure what it feels like, but if it's anything like Taylor Swift makes it sound like, it sounds painful."
         Theodora gave a hearty laugh, but regained her composure after a few seconds, "In all seriousness, it can be one of the most amazing feelings you ever experience, if it's done right, if it's true. I won't lie, though, if rushed or taken for granted or just with the wrong person, it can be absolutely devastating."
         "You sound like you know that from personal experience," Adrienne looked over Theodora who stared at the steering wheel as they just sat there.
         "I do," Theodora said softly as she nodded slowly, "I guess I have had some fears of my own over the past few years. I haven't been with a woman since that three year relationship I told you about and that was almost five years ago. Sure, I've tied up a few girls here and there, and have actually pushed my passion into being a domme since, but I've never loved anyone since Christina."
         Adrienne nodded and Theodora got out to let Adrienne out and aid her with the bags of clothes and shoes. They walked together to the door where Theodora set down her bags to unlock the door, letting Adrienne in first, then followed shortly after with the bags in hand.
         "Well I'm assuming since I'm going to be living here now that I'm no longer sleeping in your bed," Adrienne said, setting the bags down for a second, looking toward the couch.
         "Adrienne," Theodora sounded hurt as she walked into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine, "I would not ask you to abandon your abusive engagement, ask you to come live with me, and then make you sleep on the couch. You are always welcome in my bed, and for more than just sleep, let me assure you."
         Adrienne smiled at that, then looked down at the bags of clothes and shoes that littered the floor, "Did you take into consideration how much baggage I came with? Emotionally and physically?"
         Theodora chuckled, "I suppose I didn't, but I have a storage room, if you'd like to store the things you aren't wearing for the moment in there. The rest you can just stuff in my closet."
         "I really do appreciate everything you've done for me, Theodora," Adrienne smiled soft as she picked up a few of the bags, "I know this is just as big a change for you as it is for me, and I hope I'm not going to take up too much space, or be a burden to you."
         "If it means keeping you safe, it's more than a pleasure to oblige," Theodora bowed gracefully and picked up the rest of the bags and led Adrienne down the corridor to the storage room. The storage room was the room on the right of the corridor, right before Theodora's bedroom. She opened the door and flipped the switch just inside the door, and it looked exactly as Adrienne expected: super clean, tidy, and orderly. Theodora walked in and arranged the bags neatly on the floor, then turned to Adrienne for her bags to do the same.
         "We can go through them after dinner and decide what you want to put in the closet," Theodora smiled softly, "I'm pretty sure we left your salad from lunch at your father's office, so I'll make us some pasta, if that's okay for you to eat?"
         "That's fine," Adrienne smiled, "is it okay if I go out for a run later to make up for it, though?"
         "Adrienne," Theodora smiled sadly, "you never have to ask if you can do something. I don't own you. We're not even in a relationship. At this point I would just call us roommates. You owe me no explanation as to what you're doing or where you're going."
         "Oh, right," Adrienne said, rubbing her neck as Theodora came out of the storage room, closing the door behind her, "I guess I won't know what to do with myself with this newfound freedom."
         "I feel like you'll get used to it faster than you think," Theodora smiled softly, "why don't you lie down while I make dinner for us?"
         "You don't need any help?" Adrienne asked sweetly, bouncing on her toes, her heels clicking as she landed back on them.
         "Help boiling pasta?" Theodora chuckled, "I think I'll be okay. Thanks for the offer though. You're welcome to any of the books in my room too. Please, Adrienne, make yourself at home."
         Adrienne walked away seductively, making sure Theodora was watching as she did so, and entered the bedroom. She walked around the room, looking for a book on the long shelf and found one that looked more along the lines of a scrapbook of sorts and plucked it from the shelf. The cover was black with red binding. There were no words on the front or the back, no indication of what might lie within the tome's pages.
          Adrienne took it back to the bed with her, kicking off her heels and crossed her ankles and set the book in her lap. She opened the book to find pictures of women in all different levels of undress. Some of them were in bras and panties, simply posing for the camera, others were completely naked, their wrists bound with silk scarves or shiny handcuffs. A few of them had rubber balls suspended on leather straps in their mouths, others had scarves between their teeth, a few were blindfolded, but many were not. Several of the women were bound in intricate patterns over their entire bodies, others had just their limbs bound but almost as if they were contortionists. The contortionist women, though painful to look at were beautiful in a sadistic kind of way. Adrienne must've been very engrossed in the pictures because she didn't hear or see Theodora come to stand in the doorway to watch her silently, and when she finally did look up, she scared her.
         "How long have you been standing there?" Adrienne gasped softly.
         "Long enough to gauge how those pictures make you feel," Theodora smiled knowingly as she came and sat next to Adrienne to look at the book with her.
         "Did you take these photos?" Adrienne asked as Theodora took the book to look closer at it.
         "Yes," she smiled fondly, touching the photos, "I did when I was a bit younger, early twenties, fresh out of college, just starting out with my professional photography."
         "What about the women in those pictures?" Adrienne asked, watching Theodora's face, "Did you do that to them?"
         "Yes," Theodora said, "not forcefully, but yes, I did. They asked me to."
         "It's kind of like art, huh?" Adrienne asked, "the rope stuff I mean."
         "That 'rope stuff' is called Shibari," Theodora said almost scientifically, "and yes, it is an art, in so many ways. It looks beautiful, yes, but it also takes much skill to execute properly and not hurt them. It's also a great relationship strengthener. The BDSM lifestyle, as a whole, requires an extreme amount of trust. Shibari as a sub-genre of that lifestyle requires both trust, and communication. If the sub doesn't communicate with her Domme, that she is uncomfortable or in pain, it can lead to nerve damage, or worse."
         Adrienne simply lay against the pillow and let Theodora revel in her passion, listening to her take on a more professional stand on the explanation of certain pictures, answering Adrienne's unasked questions about each one. She watched as Theodora's eyes lit up as she reminisced about one woman or another, certain rope techniques she'd used to tie them up or what she'd done to make them climax. Oddly enough, as much as Adrienne liked Theodora and wanted her as much more than a friend, she didn't find herself jealous, even as Theodora gushed over the memories she shared with these women.
         Theodora closed the book and laid it on the bed, looking toward Adrienne with an apologetic smile, "Sorry. I guess I got a little carried away."
         "No," Adrienne leaned a little closer, wanting to bridge the gap between them completely, but settled for the new closeness, "I love when you talk about things you love. Your voice changes, your eyes light up. Sometimes when you talk about BDSM or things you're very passionate about, I can even see your heart race and hear your breath quicken."
         It was the first time Adrienne saw Theodora blush, "You really notice all that huh?" She asked as she curled her hair behind her ear, as she looked into Adrienne's eyes. Adrienne bit her lip at the look she found in those hazel gems, she wasn't absolutely sure because she'd never actually seen it before, but she thought it was longing. As Adrienne began to study those beautiful tawny depths and get lost in them, Theodora shook her head noticeably and touched Adrienne's shoulder gently, shaking her from her trance.
         "Come, pretty girl," Theodora said, almost as if she'd just been woken up, "Dinner has been ready for as long as I've had my nose in my memories." She stood slowly as if she needed to steady herself and smoothed her skirt over her hips and took a deep breath and excused herself, walking quickly to the restroom. Adrienne sat a bit dumbfounded on the bed as Theodora left the room, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. Had Adrienne said too much? Had she gotten too close? Had she made Theodora uncomfortable? Certainly not...right? The woman was a dominatrix for crying out loud, it probably took quite a bit to make her uncomfortable. Adrienne stood slowly and walked into the kitchen, making them both plates, pouring Theodora a glass of her wine and herself a glass of water, and waited at the bar for the gorgeous woman to join her.

         Theodora quickly closed the bathroom door behind her and leaned her back against it, looking to her reflection in the mirror. She had tried to excuse herself as calmly as possible, but she was anything but. Her heart was racing and a million unanswered questions were swirling around in her head. Her heels clicked on the tile floor as she walked over to the sink and ran some cold water, gently splashing her face. Did Adrienne really notice all that stuff when Theodora spoke about something she was passionate about? And why did she find that to be so scary? She hung her head and searched for answers behind her closed eyes.
         "What the hell happened in there?" her shoulder devil reared her tiny horned head.
         "I-I don't know," Theodora said, squeezing here eyes shut tighter, "I can't explain it."
         "I'll tell you what happened," the spunky little devil crossed her arms over her chest, "You're falling for the bitch."
         "Don't call her that!" Theodora said angrily then pinched the bridge of her nose as she remembered she was arguing with a figment of her imagination, "She's not a bitch."
         "Whatever she is," the tiny demon said as she inspected her nails, "she has got you wrapped around her pretty little, manicured finger. You're the one who is supposed to be in control here, Theo, not losing it to some pretty blonde with blue eyes...again."
         "I'm telling you she's different," Theodora quipped desperately, "she is NOT Christina. Christina was using me."
         "You thought she loved you, though," the tiny she-devil pointed out, "you gave your heart blindly. Let's not be so foolish a second time, dear, at least not so quickly. Don't give in to those pretty baby blues just yet."
         Theodora thought about that comment for a moment. Maybe that's why it scared her that Adrienne had noticed those tiny little things that most people would overlook. There were only two kinds of people that noticed those kinds of things: either people who cared deeply for people or some sadistic, manipulative son of a bitch...like Christina. Not that she'd known Adrienne long at all, but there had been red flags with Christina, even from the very beginning that Theodora wasn't seeing in Adrienne. As much as she hated to admit it, though, the little devil was right: it was way too early in the game to tell what Adrienne was after, but maybe she wasn't after anything. The girl had money, that wasn't a question. She was sure that would be the last thing Adrienne wanted from her. Maybe she wanted sex, but she was so emotionally, and probably sexually, damaged that Theodora was scared to even touch the girl. Adrienne seemed to like the teasing Theodora inflicted upon her, but that was the only thing she reciprocated was the teasing. Adrienne seemed scared to act up on anything else, but it gave Theodora even more of a reason to take her time and study Adrienne, see what she was all about. A tiny knock came at the door as she mulled the situation over in her mind as quietly as she could, and heard Adrienne's soft voice through the door.
         "Theodora," she said her name softly, making Theodora smile; she loved the way Adrienne said her name, "Are you okay? I've made us both plates, but I think they're probably cold now. If you're almost done, I can go ahead and throw them in the microwave so they're hot when you come out?"
         "Yes," Theodora said as she smiled at the door, "I'll be right out. See?" she puffed her chest at her little devil, "that was sweet and thoughtful. Christina never did anything for me."
         "Wow," the demon clapped her hands, "a hot meal that you made being thrown in the microwave to reheat is all it takes to get you? We're at an all time low, here Theo."
         "I meant the thought, asshole," Theodora muttered, "she thought to at least make me a plate. Christina treated me like a slave, and I let her. That girl never lifted a finger. This girl cleans up after meals, makes me a plate. You know what? I'm done arguing with myself, I'm going to go enjoy my dinner with that pretty little blonde out there."
         Theodora checked her makeup and hair in the mirror, fluffed her hair a little and with that, opened the door to go join Adrienne. Adrienne was just taking the plates she'd made out of the microwave when Theodora took a stool at the island. Adrienne smiled as she set her plate down in front of her and walked around the island to perch on the stool next to her. Theodora noticed that Adrienne had poured her a glass of wine, making her smile to her thoughtfulness, sending a taunting little mental note to her little shoulder demon, who just scoffed inside her head. The two ate in silence, the only sound was their forks against their plates and the clinking of the ice in Adrienne's glass as she sipped her water. Finally, Adrienne's tiny voice broke the silence as she set her fork on her empty plate.
         "That was a great dinner, Theodora," she smiled softly, "thank you for taking the time to make it."
         "You're more than welcome, Adrienne," she smiled sweetly as she finished her dinner, "it was a pleasure."
         "Here, let me take your plate," Adrienne smiled softly, "why don't you go take a shower, and I'll take care of the mess, hmm?"
         Theodora couldn't help but smile. She nodded and thanked Adrienne then grabbed a towel and went back to the bathroom. Her little shoulder devil popped up again, but this time was accompanied by the shoulder angel as well.
         "I told you," the shoulder angel sang tauntingly at the minuscule demon, "Adrienne is different. She has feelings for Theo. It might not be full-blown love quite yet, but love can bloom anywhere, even in the dark."
         "Yeah, yeah, yeah," the devil threw a hand up to the angel, "I'm still not convinced. She's hiding something."
         "Hiding something?" the angel and Theodora spat at the same time, but only Theodora continued, "the girl told me she had been physically, sexually, and emotionally abused for years in a game of twenty fucking questions. You can't be serious."
         "She'll hurt you," the evil little creature retorted, "break your heart just like the last one."
         "Well as the late Mr. Marley said, 'The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.' And after being so lonely and distrusting for so long, I'd think I'd like to believe in love again."
         "Well, just do your devil a little favor," the evil little creature said, "don't rush into it. You did that with Christina and you see where that got you. Just be careful. Devil out." With that the little horned sprite was gone, and only the angel remained.
         "Well, Theo," she said, "I'd take the demon's advice on that one. You did rush into things with Christina. Just take your time with this one, I can tell she really does have something for you that Christina never did, but don't rush love. If it's meant to be between you and Adrienne, it will happen no matter what." The angel folded her wings and disappeared in a tiny puff of smoke and Theodora was finally alone.
         Theodora started up the shower and stripped herself, looking at herself in the mirror and smiled. It had taken her a long time after Christina for Theodora to love herself and find herself worthy of someone else's love. It had taken a lot of meditation, a lot of time alone, and lots and lots of wine to recover from Christina's almost fatal blow. She had taken the time she'd need to heal and fix her own problems before she could take anyone else's on. Now, here Adrienne was, basically a kitten left on her doorstep, abandoned, broken, and starving for attention, love, and basic human decency. It was Theodora's first real test of compassion after Christina. She'd seen a few women like Adrienne, not abused or anything, just sad and lonely, and she'd never felt the need to try and personally quell their pain or help them through their tough time. With Adrienne, she hadn't even hesitated. She knew the moment she'd walked over to that bar and bought that pretty blonde a drink that Adrienne needed her; not sexually or socially, but she needed someone who had their own emotions and problems under control, someone to take the reigns.
         Theodora had thought that she could be the answer at first, but now that she could barely look at Adrienne without losing her mind, she wasn't so sure. She never thought any woman would have this affect on her again, and even stronger than Christina had. She looked in the mirror and decided that she had to be strong for Adrienne. She promised herself and silently to Adrienne that she would be. She just hoped that she could keep that promise.

         Adrienne cleaned up the mess from dinner, which was pretty minute since Theodora had cleaned as she'd cooked. She tossed their plates in the dishwasher, but kept their glasses out to have a drink or two more. After wiping down the stove top and counters, she poured Theodora another glass of wine, and grabbed some water from the dispenser on the fridge and went into living room and set the glasses on coasters. She found her clutch that had her lighter in it and found a few candles and lit them as she waited for Theodora to return from her shower.
         As Adrienne sat on the couch, waiting for Theodora, she thought back to the book that was lying on the bed still. She thought about those pictures of all those women, bound and gagged, probably fucked to exhaustion by this gorgeous woman she was living with and slowly but surely falling for. She wanted to ask, she wanted to know: had Theodora ever loved any of those women? Had the sex between any of them ever meant anything? Was one of them Christina?
         Adrienne wasn't very sure that it was any of her business. It was just curiosity, right? Or was it really misplaced jealousy? She barely knew Theodora. She had no right to be jealous, especially if those women were past flings. She had no right to be jealous because she and Theodora weren't even in a relationship...yet. Adrienne hoped that would be changing soon. She liked Theodora a lot. It was much more than just physical passion Adrienne wanted too. She wanted the love that Theodora had already begun to show her through her actions with the information Adrienne had given her about Jaxon. She wanted to know Theodora inside and out, physically and emotionally, she wanted to reciprocate the love and tenderness and care that Theodora had shown her over the past couple of days. She wanted to show Theodora that she wanted her, that she never wanted to hurt her, that she was indebted to her.
         Just then, Theodora came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel and headed to the bedroom to change. She emerged a few minutes later, drying her hair with the towel that had been wrapped around her head and smiled at the little setup that Adrienne had prepared for them and sat down next to her.
         "Well aren't you just adorable," Theodora smiled softly as she leaned forward to grab the remote and her glass of wine, "would you like to watch some mindless television with me before bed?"
         Adrienne nodded, "I would, but I can't stay up too late, I have a shoot tomorrow. Shit, which reminds me. I don't have my car here."
         "I'm doing a shoot tomorrow too," Theodora said after sipping her wine, "where's yours?"
         "Well, we're meeting on the pier, but I'm sure it's on the beach considering its a swimsuit shoot."
         "Ironically enough, I think that's where I'm shooting, we can just ride together."
         "Great!" Adrienne smiled, not wanting to be away from Theodora for even a second, "I'll make us breakfast in the morning, er, if you don't mind me using your food and stuff that is."
         "Adrienne, sweetie," Theodora said, making Adrienne raise her brows as she lay her hand gently on her knee, "you live here now. What's mine is yours. If you'd like to cook, please by all means, cook. The only thing I ask is that you don't bring people home, at least until we can get you a bed of your own. I prefer to keep mine sacred for my own fuckery."
"Oh, right," Adrienne said, looking down at her fingers, her feelings a bit hurt, but recalled that she hadn't really made them apparent to Theodora either, "I hadn't really planned on bringing someone else into your home, Theodora; not after all you've done for me or in general."
         Theodora seemed to sense Adrienne's mood shift, "If you want to bring someone home, I could understand, ya know, revenge sex and all. I get it."
         "Revenge sex only feels good if you give a shit what the person you were trying to get revenge on thought of you," Adrienne stood from the couch, "I'm in this for me now. I don't give a fuck what Jaxon thinks; it's been a long time since I have. Revenge isn't what's on my agenda." With that Adrienne walked to the bathroom to shower and let go of her pent up sadness. She couldn't believe that Theodora thought she'd want to bring someone else into the home they were now sharing. Sure, they weren't in a relationship or anything, but Theodora had literally saved her life, maybe, why would she be so rude as to bring a sexual partner into her home after all she'd done for her? Adrienne stripped as the tears began to well in her eyes then rolled down her cheeks as she squeezed them shut after she stepped into the shower. She sank into a fetal position and wailed silently into her knees. She hadn't come right out and said 'Theodora, I want you. Take me, I'm yours,' but she thought she had made it apparent, with their little teasing bouts, that she was interested.
         Maybe the playful, teasing tactic wasn't the best way to show Theodora she was interested in her. Maybe she just needed to be up front and honest with Theodora about how she felt, but that was scary to Adrienne. She didn't want to wear her heart on her sleeve. Theodora could chew it up and spit it out then dig her stiletto into it and look like a Latina Aphrodite as she did it. Maybe when she had her wits about her, she'd tell Theodora how much she liked her and that she hoped for a relationship in the future, but for now, she'd just keep that thought to herself. She didn't want to make it awkward for either of them so early in the game.
         Adrienne washed up and got out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel. She looked at her face in the mirror which was painted with black mascara tear stains. She searched the bathroom for some makeup removal wipes or something and cleaned of her face, examining herself in the mirror again after her face was bare. Where had her youth gone? She had bags under her eyes, dark circles too. She looked as she had in high school just more tired and worn down. She wanted to change her look up. Jaxon had mad her keep her hair a certain length and style, made her dress a certain way, made her redo her makeup and hair if he didn't like it. She wanted to discover herself. She wanted to establish her own style and after work tomorrow that was just what she was going to do.
         Adrienne left the bathroom and flung her gaze toward the living room that was now dark, then down the hall to the bedroom where there door sat open and lamp light filled the small area. Adrienne headed to her right and walked into the bedroom where Theodora sat, looking at the book that they'd been looking at before. She was so engrossed in it, that she hadn't heard Adrienne come in and gasped when Adrienne grabbed the silk pajamas that Theodora had let her use the night before off the bed where Theodora had set them out for her.
         "Sorry," Adrienne muttered quietly, "I didn't mean to scare you."
         "It's okay," Theodora said as she lay the book down.
         "Don't let me interrupt you," Adrienne said, trying to keep the petty anger from her voice, but mostly failed.
         "You're not interrupting," Theodora said as if she hadn't noticed the exasperation in her voice, "come to bed. We have an early day ahead of us."
         Adrienne nodded curtly, went back to the bathroom and changed into the pajamas. She wasn't playing the little teasing game anymore. She decided that she would tell Theodora that she was into her eventually, but she didn't have to play this little game of hers, but Adrienne was more concerned with just how the hell did she think she was going to resist Theodora and her teasing? She took a deep breath and one last look in the mirror before she turned the light off and headed back toward the bedroom.
         Theodora was laying down when Adrienne came in the second time, looking at something at her phone as she waited for Adrienne to come to bed so she could turn the light off. Adrienne crawled into bed, trying desperately not to look at Theodora's face for fear she'd burst into tears again about what she'd said earlier, and got comfortable facing the wall away from her. She hugged the covers to her chest and closed her eyes tightly as she felt Theodora's gaze on her back for a few seconds before she turned the lights off for the evening.
         "What time were you going to wake up?" Theodora asked softly.
         Probably five," Adrienne replied, "will probably try to go for a run before I make breakfast. Why?"
         "Oh, no reason," Theodora said, "I usually push it as late as I can. I'm not much of an early bird."
         "I'll do my best to be quiet when I go out," Adrienne said, staring at the moonlit wall as she willed herself to be kind to this woman who had helped her through one of the biggest tribulations of her life, but managed to hurt her fragile little feelings somehow.
         "I left a key on the island," Theodora explained, "It's yours. You're free to come and go as you please."
         Adrienne wished Theodora would just shut up about being free to do as she pleased when all she wanted was to kiss her, hold her, fuck her, make love to her, but instead she was irritated about getting her feelings hurt from a simple request from her savior that she not bring sexual partners into her home until she had her own bed. Did Theodora not want to share her bed with her? Was getting Adrienne her own bed the plan from the very beginning? They hadn't really discussed the sleeping situation at all. Everything had just happened so fast. Adrienne let out a defeated sigh when she realized that it really wasn't fair to expect Theodora to share her bed just because she'd saved her from Jaxon. Just because she'd done so, didn't mean that she liked her like that or wanted to be in a relationship with her, she was just a kind woman. Adrienne had a feeling, though, that anyone else she'd have told that to that she'd just met would've just chalked her up to someone looking for attention, then scampered off elsewhere to find a someone else to take home or just 'forget to call.' Theodora had to love her somewhat, right?
         "Thanks," Adrienne said weakly as her anger fizzled out and attempted to sleep. She closed her eyes and willed the million questions that plagued her thoughts to silence themselves, but tossed and turned endlessly it seemed. After awhile Theodora rolled toward her and squeezed her shoulders, pressing her thumbs into the back of her neck.
         "Relax," Theodora instructed, "Take a deep breath and focus on that inhale, then hold it."
         Adrienne did as she was told, almost involuntarily. It was as though when Theodora spoke sternly and commanded her to do something, she could not refuse. Theodora's voice wasn't stern though. It was as soft as silk, but demanded respect like the raging sea. She took that deep breath, focused on the air expanding her lungs and held it as she'd be instructed.
         "Now, with your exhale I want you to release all of your anxieties and stresses," Theodora said as she continued to work Adrienne's muscles gently yet firmly, "Just repeat this process until you can relax."
         Adrienne took all of the questions that flung around inside her brain and pushed them out bit by bit with every exhale as Theodora massaged her gently, falling asleep in her hands.

         The next morning Adrienne awoke mere minutes before her alarm. She went to remove the covers but there was something keeping her from doing so. She reached her hand down to feel what was blocking her from getting up and found a soft yet strong hand on her belly, a long, smooth arm curved around her hip, plump breasts pressing softly against her back, and warm, tiny snores against the nape of her neck. Theodora had fallen asleep holding her and it was if last night hadn't mattered at all. Adrienne had known that she wouldn't be mad in the morning; she'd never been able to hold a grudge against someone she actually loved. Last night she'd wanted to get up and leave Theodora as soon as possible, maybe cry as she ran, cry all the tears she hadn't been able to shed with Jaxon around because tears were for the weak and she would not be so delicate in his presence. Now, she never wanted to leave the bed, let alone the apartment. She wanted to stay wrapped in Theodora's embrace like this. It was everything she had imagined...well, sort of.
         The skin of Theodora's hand was soft and smooth, but the muscle beneath that soft skin was hard and strong. Her arms were strong too, Adrienne realized as she stroked the arm wrapped around her core. The moon illuminated Theodora's skin, almost making that beautiful caramel skin glow a soft amber color as the light caressed it.          Adrienne carefully rolled over to face Theodora who was drooling on her pillow as she snored soundly. Adrienne smiled at the gorgeous woman, her face shrouded in that same alabaster light of the moon making her look celestial as she slept. Adrienne reached her hand up to push a dark, crimson lock from Theodora's face and curled it behind her ear. She lay her hand against Theodora's cheek gently as if she might break if she'd done it any harder, or worse, wake up to find Adrienne touching her. Adrienne caressed her cheek with her palm, brushing her thumb softly and slowly against the woman's gorgeous cheekbone. Theodora stirred a bit, making Adrienne rip her hand from her face and hold it to her chest as if she'd been burned, but settled back down, wrapping her arm tighter around Adrienne's waist in her sleep.
         'Great,' Adrienne thought, 'now I'll never be able to get up.'
         Adrienne didn't really care about getting that run in on the beach like she tried to when Jaxon left either earlier than usual or later than usual for work to watch the sunrise, not when this was her view now. She studied the sleeping goddess's face, the high cheekbones, the delicate yet strong jaw, the on-fleek eyebrows, the perfect little button nose and last but certainly not least, those beautiful crimson lips that she longed so badly to kiss. She slowly reached her hand up to caress those soft, luscious lips with her fingertip. They were soft as silk to the touch of her fingers, she couldn't imagine how they'd feel on the more sensitive skin of her lips, but she was just dying to find out.
         Theodora's mouth quirked in her sleep and she groaned softly and pulled her arm from Adrienne's waist to drag it over her face before falling back asleep. Adrienne took advantage of Theodora removing her arm from her waist and stood up before she was able to ensnare her in her embrace again, not that she would've fought it at all, but she needed to get some stuff done before work. She probably wouldn't get that run in now, but she had promised Theodora breakfast and that's what she was going to do. Adrienne sneaked out of the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind her, then opened the door to the storage room and changed into something that she could beat around in. She didn't want grease or anything else getting on her borrowed silk pajamas as she cooked. She found a pair of old board shorts and a sports bra to knock around and cook in and crept out of the storage room, seeing that the bedroom door was still closed with soft snores still coming steadily from behind it.
         Adrienne finally walked normally once her feet hit the kitchen floor, knowing she wouldn't be heard from this far away. She opened the fridge to explore her options for breakfast. She wanted to impress Theodora with the cooking skills that she'd learned from Youtube to cook for Jaxon. She grabbed fresh asparagus and a lemon and eggs and ham from the fridge and grabbed a pan from the cabinet that she'd seen Theodora grab one from the day before and set it on the stove to preheat. After the pan had warmed up, she tossed a pat of butter into it to melt, coating the pan with it before she tossed the asparagus in to saute. She seasoned it with salt, pepper, and some garlic powder, and covered the pan to let the asparagus steam a bit and soften. Theodora didn't have any English muffins so she had to use plain, old white bread instead. She tossed it in the toaster and began to whisk some egg yolks she'd separated from the whites with some lemon juice, cayenne pepper and salt, as she placed a mug with cold butter into the microwave to melt. She pulled the door open before the alarm sounded and whisked the butter into the yolk mixture. She brought a pot of water to a soft boil, cracked an egg into a small bowl and stirred the water, gently pouring the egg into it to poach it.
         Adrienne yanked the toast from the toaster and placed it carefully on the plate, placing the asparagus neatly on top, then fished the egg from the water with a slotted spoon and placed it gently on the asparagus and used a spoon to drizzle some of the homemade hollandaise sauce on the egg. She smiled at her little creation but thought she should top it with some chives for color and flavor. She searched the fridge again and found some fresh ones and chopped them up tiny and sprinkled them atop the hollandaise and smiled.
         She began to walk down the hall to go wake Theodora, but thought better of it and went back to the kitchen poured a glass of orange juice and grabbed the plate to serve Theodora breakfast in bed. She held the glass of OJ in her arm to open the door to find Theodora still sleeping soundly, her arm dangling off the edge of the bed. Adrienne smiled and walked to Theodora's side of the bed, set the plate and glass down and lifted her arm slowly so it wouldn't hurt after having it dangling for so long and gently roused her sleeping buddy.
         "Theodora," Adrienne sang softly and watched as the beautiful woman's eyes fluttered open and she blinked sleepily up at Adrienne, squinting in the early morning sunlight. "Good morning, sleepyhead. I made you some breakfast."
         Theodora sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes as Adrienne grabbed a pillow to set on Theodora's lap to place the plate on so she could eat comfortably, but Theodora seemed too groggy to feed herself so Adrienne grabbed the plate and cut a piece and held it to her lips for her to take a bit and chew groggily. Adrienne smiled as Theodora began to wake up as she smiled from the taste. Theodora looked up at Adrienne and smiled, looking a bit guilty as she looked at the glass of orange juice.
         "Could I trouble you for a cup of coffee?" she asked sheepishly, "I'll drink the OJ too, I just need to wake up a little."
         "Sure," Adrienne said as she handed the plate off to Theodora, "I didn't think about that, sorry."
         "It's not a problem, Adrienne. I appreciate that you made me such a great breakfast."
         "Is there anything else I can get for you while I'm up?" Adrienne asked as she stood from the bed and walked to the door.
         Theodora shook her head and continued to eat her breakfast as Adrienne left to make her a cup of coffee. She searched around the kitchen for the coffee and after finally checking the pantry, found K-cups and plucked one from the box and turned the keurig machine on, she slid the mug onto the little platform and hit the brew button, listening to the machine sound like it was choking as it spewed coffee into the mug.
         "Any cream or sugar?" Adrienne called down the hall, listening for a reply.
         "Just bring the cream and a few sugar packs with you," Theodora called from the bedroom.
         Adrienne grabbed a spoon and the cream from the fridge and stuffed a few packs of sugar into the pocket of her board shorts and headed down the hall back to Theodora. She set the coffee on a coaster on the bedside table along with the cream and sugar, then lay down in the bed next to Theodora watching her eat and enjoy her meal. Theodora looked over at Adrienne almost as if she'd forgotten that she was lying next to her, and smiled with a mouthful of egg.
         "Would you like to try some of your amazing creation?" she asked, offering Adrienne a forkful.
         Adrienne leaned up and took the bite and smiled. It was good, and she was proud to serve it to Theodora. Theodora offered her another bite but Adrienne held up her hand and shook her head and let Theodora finish her food. Theodora set her empty plate on the bedside table and made up her coffee taking a long swallow, half the cup disappearing down her long, slender throat. She smiled from the warmth and thanked Adrienne again for breakfast as the blonde stood to take the empty plate, cream, and empty sugar packs back to the kitchen.
         Adrienne rinsed the plate and tossed it into the dishwasher, threw out the empty sugar packs, and put the cream back in the fridge. She looked toward the food she'd taken out to make for the both of them, but she didn't feel much like eating. Waking up in Theodora's arms had excited her, made her feel loved and warm, but she'd simply fallen asleep like that...right? She hadn't knowingly held Adrienne in her arms until she fell asleep, had she? She shook the thought from her head as she cleaned up her mess from breakfast, finishing up just as Theodora came into the kitchen in her silk PJs. She looked around the kitchen, realizing it was already clean and cocked her head.
         "Did you already eat?" Theodora asked setting her empty mug down as she grabbed another K-cup from the pantry to make another cup of coffee.
         "No," Adrienne said as she leaned against the counter, "I don't have much of an appetite."
         "Adrienne," Theodora started, "about last night, I--,"
         Adrienne held up her hand, "It's fine. I shouldn't have gotten upset. It was a simple and understandable request. I had no right to get mad."
         "Well," Theodora said, "I was going to say that 'my own fuckery' meant absolutely nothing. You're the first woman to have slept in my bed since Christina, and believe me I got a new bed after her, so you're actually the only woman who has slept in that bed in over five years. I am curious though, why it upset you so."
         "It's stupid," Adrienne waved her hand.
         Theodora stalked toward her and put her hands on the counter on either side of Adrienne, pushing her hips against hers, trapping her against the counter, "Try me."
         Adrienne felt Theodora's skin brush hers and it was as if she had been electrocuted, she couldn't think, she couldn't form words. As she looked up into those piercing, hazel eyes her inebriation seemed only to worsen. She stuttered and stumbled over her words. The only thought running through her mind was 'Don't kiss her. Don't kiss her. Don't kiss her.'
         "Tell me what upset you, Little One," Theodora practically purred as she leaned closer to Adrienne.
         Adrienne couldn't think about anything else but kissing Theodora, and maybe, just maybe it was crazy enough to stun her long enough to escape her embrace. Adrienne looked up into Theodora's expectant eyes, and leaned up and kissed her hard on the mouth, making her eyes widen as she took a step back. Adrienne moved quickly while her brain was still sending messages to her legs to move, and ran to the bathroom and quickly closed and locked the door behind her, leaning against it as her heart pounded in throat.
         Adrienne could hear nothing but her pulse pounding in her ears, and focused on trying to calm her respiration. She finally quelled the thrashing heartbeat in her ears using Theodora's deep inhale and exhale tactic, but heard nothing. The apartment was pin-drop silent. She didn't hear Theodora scuffling around or getting ready for work or anything. Sure, the kiss had worked in the moment, but Adrienne couldn't hide in the bathroom forever. She'd have to face Theodora eventually, and now she was even more scared of the woman.
         What would she do now that Adrienne had kissed her? Was it a totally different game, now? Would she be mad? Would she read more into it and think about it and try to understand the meaning behind it? Because there absolutely was a meaning behind it and not just an escape mechanism. So much for not making it awkward.
         Adrienne opened the door and peeked her head out, looking left, then right, not seeing Theodora at all, and snuck into the storage room to grab some clothes to wear to the shoot. She searched in a few bags and found a pair of short shorts, a tank top, a bra and panties, and a pair of black and pink Vans. She gathered her clothes and grabbed her shoes and went to the bathroom to change. Afterward she went into the bedroom to grab her clutch, where Theodora was sitting at her vanity, applying her makeup. She looked at Adrienne through the mirror as she applied her foundation, intimidating Adrienne as she continued beating her face without missing a beat.
         "So," Theodora drawled as she began applying her dark crimson lipstick, "Wanna tell me what that was all about?"
         "I, er, I was embarrassed to tell you what upset me last night."
         Theodora finished her makeup and turned to face Adrienne, her expression somewhat stern, maybe even a bit angry, "So you thought just kissing me and then locking yourself in the bathroom was less embarrassing?"
         Adrienne rubbed her neck and shrugged, "I guess you have a point there."
         "Yes, I do," she said curtly, "And I think I deserve an answer for both of my questions: why you got so upset last night, and why you thought kissing me and locking yourself in the bathroom was less embarrassing than any answer you could've possibly given me, by the end of the day."

© Copyright 2019 Veronika Baron (kelsprincess at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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