A Little Off The Sides

I dozed off in the barber’s chair.
That wasn’t very wise.
When I awoke and saw myself
I couldn’t believe my eyes.

The mirror on the barber’s wall
confirmed my biggest fear.
There wasn’t much of me on top,
the hair that I loved dear.

I didn’t look at all like me.
My head was mostly bare,
as if the barber dozed off, too,
while I was in his chair.

I’d asked him for my normal trim,
a little off the sides.
But now with what he’s done to me
there’s nowhere I can hide.

My mother wouldn’t know me now.
I’ve patches on my head.
I’ll have to always wear a hat
or shave it bald instead.

Why did the barber butcher me?
Why did he ruin my look?
I never should have kissed his wife.
One kiss is all it took.

I met her at the grocery store.
We chatted for a while.
And when she said goodbye to me
I kissed her in the aisle.

I went to kiss her on the cheek
just as she turned her head.
It’s not my fault, I’m telling you,
I kissed her lips instead.

I only gave her one quick kiss
as she hugged me goodbye.
I thought it was so harmless then.
Why did she tell him, why?

There are some folks you never cross.
You shouldn’t get them mad.
Yeah, waiters, doctors, barbers, too.
could make your life so bad.

I learned my lesson, yes I did,
the hard way that’s for sure.
When next I see that barber’s wife
I’m heading for the door.

They say revenge is best served cold
and maybe that is true.
Be careful whom you may upset.
That’s my advice to you.