The One With All The Murders

COLD OPEN

Pennywise, Michael Myers, Jason, Leatherface, and Freddy Krueger
all hanging out at the Central Perk
comparing notes on methods of mayhem
each with their own grisly style of fieldwork

Gunther asks if they need a refill
and ends up lobotomized by a drill

OPENING TITLES, THEME SONG

So no one told you life was gonna end this way
You’re about to croak, as you choke
Your consciousness slips away
It's like you're stuck in perpetual fear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year

I'll be there to kill you
(With a persistence you can’t ignore)
I'll be there to kill you
(Like I've tried so many times before)
I'll be there to kill you
('Cause it’s just what I do)

You're still in bed afraid
And you think I’m at the gate
You've already pissed yourself
Waiting for me to lacerate
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought
You down to your knees

I'll be there to kill you
(With a persistence you can’t ignore)
I'll be there to kill you
(Like I've tried so many times before)
I'll be there to kill you
('Cause it’s just what I do)

SHOW OPEN

Michael and Jason, blade buddy roommates
with Penny and Freddy across the hall
Leatherface often joins to hang
before prowling the city streets after nightfall

“oh. my. god.” discordant Janice finally deadened
with a gas-powered chainsaw antidote
Estelle’s last commercial casting call
cut short by a machete to the throat

Carol and Susan couldn’t avoid
an encounter with the nightmare murder scripter
while Ugly Naked Guy had to gruesomely add
“disemboweled by a cleaver” to his overlong descriptor

Paolo's time on this Earth was ended by
a deadly threesome with Jason and Monsieur Myers
even as reclusive Mr. Heckles
succumbed to a demonic clown with a pair of pliers

they came from near and far
to murder, rape, and pillage
these five unholy souls united
to descend on Greenwich Village

END OF SHOW.


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Line Count: 55
Form: Story Poem / Narrative Poetry  
Written for: "The Not-So-Daily Poem" 
Prompt: image prompt (see above)