The Real Story About Humpty Dumpty

HUMPTY’S FALL

Let me tell you a story
from long, long ago,
a very sad story
not too many know.

When Mrs. Dumpty heard the news
about her husband’s fall,
it came as no surprise to her,
no, no surprise at all.

He always would do silly things,
and she would plead and beg.
She urged him to use common sense,
for he was just an egg.

But Humpty wouldn’t hear of it;
he acted like a child.
He’d run around just like a kid;
she thought that he was wild.

And that’s what first attracted her,
his carefree way of life.
She liked the way he laughed and joked,
‘til she became his wife.

He did so many foolish things;
she could recall his past.
But climbing up upon that wall
would be his very last.

The king’s men warned him of the wall.
He didn’t pay them heed.
They saw him slip and start to fall
and then he picked up speed.

When Humpty Dumpty hit the ground
there wasn’t any doubt.
They’d never make him right again;
his yolk was inside out.

He really was a scrambled mess;
his shell was cracked in two.
No, nothing could fix him again,
not even crazy glue.

Now Mrs. Dumpty was alone
with hungry mouths to feed.
How would she take care of the boys?
It was a mess, indeed.

‘Cause Humpty didn’t leave a will,
and no insurance, too.
Her husband didn’t think that far.
What could a mother do?

That’s all I can tell you.
That’s all that we know.
The Dumptys just vanished,
not seen high nor low.

And all the king’s horses
and all the king’s men
would never eat poached eggs,
not ever again.

… or fried eggs.
… or soft boiled eggs.
… and definitely not scrambled eggs.
… nope, never eat any eggs
not ever again.