Avengers (2012)

Avengers (2012)

[battle of New York is raging, Thor summons a huge lightning bolt that kills like one-hundred alien dudes. A new mother and her newborn, three Chinese tourists, and a traffic cop named Craig are killed in the process]

Steve Rogers: “Good job, Thor,”

[rips aliens heart out of chest]

“Find Loki and get that thingamabob.”

Thor: [flies off]

Steve Rogers: [starts running] “Tony, how’s it looking on your side?”

[cut to Tony face cam]

Tony Stark: “Find out for yourself.”

[Tony rockets through the sky followed by 5 huge alien worm things, he shoots down one of them causing it to fall on a children’s hospital]

Steve Rogers: “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

Tony Stark: “How do you even know that reference?”

[Steve stomps on an aliens head]

Steve Rogers: “What reference?”

Tony Stark: “What?”

[Black Widow pulls up in a busted up Toyota Rav 4 that still has its dead owner’s family in it]

Black Widow: “Haha, you guys accidentally left me back at base.”

[none of the Avengers take notice]

[Hulk busts out of a 6 story building, holding onto a limp, mangled alien corpse like how toddlers hold onto the same object for long periods of time]

Tony Stark: “Hulk, want to help get these hungry caterpillars off of my back?”

[explosions everywhere, people screaming]

Hulk: “Hulk favorite book.”

[Hulk jumps up and sucker punches big alien worm with the same hand as the limp corpse. The alien worm, clearly dead now, flies into an apartment building. Families ruined.]