Time to stop carrying my tragedies.

I carry all of my drama and trauma within me.
I wear it on me like a coat.
A coat that weighs me down so I can't stay afloat.
All of my tragedies are quite sad you see.
However, what's even sadder is I can't seem to break free and stay free of the tragedy that seems to be my life.
There's always so much strife in my life and that very sad you see.
I can't seem to run away, to get away from me.
So I have to deal with me and fight for me cause if I don't who will.
Family says they love me but mostly it just seems like lip service.
Something to pacify their guilt of not really ever stepping up to be there for me.
Not to say that they never do nothing for me they just always seem to be straddling the fence.
Get off the fence either you for me or you not I scream to no avail cause no real truly hears me.
Real true friends, I feel like that don't exist for me.
Yeah, I have a few that they good with me as long as I stay in the shallows and don't get deep cause if I do they out.
I have a few that love to stick around to watch the drama unfold.
A few that feel sorry for me really which infuriates me really.
I don't need your pity I need help and if you can't or won't help then spare me your pity.
Instead, they mock me and tell me my feelings aren't real.
They tell me to get over myself and to grow -up and get a life.
What do you think I been trying to do all these years.
I'm not trying to drown in all my sin and strife.
It's like a knife that cuts me deep to the bone.
I must get free, I will get free or die trying.
Christ seems to be the only one true out.
I just can't seem to wrap my head around what he is truly all about.
Can't seem to get beyond all my junk to him it seems.
However, I will never stop crying and reaching out.
Christ is the answer I have no doubt, true freedom lies beneath his cross.
At the feet of Jesus is where I can truly be redeemed without a doubt.
So I must keep pressing until I reach my dream of wholeness or die trying you see.