Bastard

You took it from me
The definition that carries a girl to a woman form birth
Uplifting independence yet weighted down in dependence as a tightly strapped girth
You inserted fatherly-figure poverty and liability niggas
Gambled with my chances to be fully functional in a dysfunctional society
Your tyranny of perversion unleashed when I was just a damn baby
Since you drugged my momma up, she couldn't even save me
Crimson-colored nightmares invade peaceful murmurs and pleasant dreams
Persuade sweaty jolts of panic, screeching and wailing for a deadbeat absentee
You know what?
Your selfishness enables a restless thing in me
Slithering around my faded soul, locking down on use of room
Abandonment fills my paranoia and interactions go BOOM!
Adrenaline swoons in tunnels racing to my inflated fists
I want to hit and hit and hit
Until I forget all the non-existent birthday presents and invisible you
Resistance to good men is a pattern now
Searing tears jump out of raw eyes and turn down forgetfullness
If you could have returned my devotion then notions wouldn't be slammed jagged into my skull
The idea of great fathers is void and null
Being in a 2 parent home is in code red status
Why couldn't you just be there for us?
Namely me
I heard you changing a diaper required a pussy fee
I hope I catch you on the street
When identical dark brown eyes finally meet
You'll realize the last remnant of potent sperm that escaped from your almost empty tube into an embryo wasn't just a filthy snake taking a minute to dip in the cool wet grass
But a daughter who's going to surpass and outlast your parched expectations
And I will lay trembling, meek hands upon broad shoulders and push down, smoldering your lies before they deplete
I'll say, "I forgive you daddy."
And with that your regret for missing my slideshow life will bleed