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Tuesday, Apr. 23, 2024

11:52pm EDT

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

Previous ... 3 -4- 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ... Next

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

StephBee - House Targaryen

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee - House Targaryen

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Jan 2, 2023 at 3:37pm
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I hurry down a grovel path
to hide from mighty blokes
residing where the mountains scream
at rabid city folks.

I soothe my wounds from acid tongues
among these squirrely butts
and count my blessings every time
White Rabbit brings me nuts.

K.E.

2 Like

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Dec 31, 2022 at 12:04am
In response to "The Telegram"

Nicely done. Eastern Montana has a BIG sky. I live in the west snuggled between mountains.

I loved the openness of Kansas... one reason why I'm going back to Isan in Thailand. "A little bit of who I am" resonates with wide open agricultural areas.

Dave

Dec 10, 2022 at 9:12am
In response to "The Telegram"

Thanks, Kat!

1 Like

Redtowrite

Dec 10, 2022 at 8:51am
In response to "The Telegram"

Paints a breathtaking visual and a feeling of freedom and lightness from our daily troubles. Beautiful writing. Holiday peace to you.

Kat

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Aug 16, 2022 at 6:44pm
In response to "GETAWAY"

So many 'b's. Alliterative on purpose?

The Caymans may not be far enough away. I'd go to Thailand... easier to get lost in a sea of people. Or Colombia.

1 Like

March 6, 2023 at 9:45am

#1046015

Sleepless

Sleep
deprived
poets keep
schedule contrived
to find time to write,
anytime, anywhere--
in the middle of the night
while lounging in their underwear.

Notes on the Eight-ette form of poetry ▼

1 Like • Comment

February 2, 2023 at 2:08pm

#1044081

Open

Open the door today,
and let the sun shine in
with big ol' toothy grin
to chase the dark away.

Open your heart today,
and let the love shine in,
so the joy can begin
before you're old and gray.

2 Like • Comment

January 14, 2023 at 2:43pm

#1043132

The Trap

My uncle Jeb went overseas
to fight against Vietnamese,
where battle pitch was amplified
when outside influences tried
to turn the conflict on its side.
Beware the spider's tangled trap,
or you will be one sorry chap.

Our brave young soldiers could not hide
from Agent Orange herbicide,
which spread upon the summer breeze
and later caused severe disease
for those engaged with enemies.
Beware the spider's tangled trap,
or you will be one sorry chap.

Notes on the Sevenelle form of poetry ▼

Like • Comment

January 2, 2023 at 3:19pm

#1042530

The Gravel Path

I wander down a gravel path
in shade of mighty oaks
beside a winding mountain stream,
away from bustling city streets.

I sooth my soul in spirit's bath
among the forest folks
in squirrel's and rabbit's regime--
one of Mother Nature's finest treats.

2 Like • Comment • View 2 comments

December 30, 2022 at 11:33pm

#1042380

Why Review?

There are two types of reviews:

1. Directed to potential readers/customers to help them choose a book/product.

2. Directed to writers so it may help them improve their craft.

Since the Writing.Com system automatically directs reviews to the writer, we are considering the second category here.

The more detailed the review, the more benefit will be provided to the writer. Generic boilerplate language, such as "wonderful" or "beautiful," is not very helpful, unless the review identifies specific phrases or techniques which make them so.

While we want to encourage writers, we should also point out weaknesses, so that the author may address those issues. Piling high praise upon an item which the author already recognizes as needing work will affect the reviewer's credibility.

Analyzing and crafting useful responses to other people's work will also help to develop our own writing skills, so there is a mutual benefit to this process.

If reviews are written clearly and honestly, the writer and the reviewer will both come out ahead.

168 words

1 Like • Comment

December 19, 2022 at 6:19pm

#1041942

SILENT NIGHT

Snowflakes sparkle on the ground,
Icicles decorate the maple tree,
Lacy frost adorns the window pane,
Endowing us with Yuletide joy,
Nature's gift of the season
Transmits a song of love.

North wind nips your nose,
Inspiring indoor escape,
Garnished with holly and mistletoe,
Hung with special care
To reinforce Mother Nature's grand theme.

2 Like • Comment • View 1 comment

December 5, 2022 at 4:20pm

#1041433

The Telegram

Big sky of Montana evokes
spiritual
inaugural
for many ordinary folks.
Much like a Holy telegram,
the vision stirs
and registers
a little bit of who I am.

Notes on the Onda Mel form of poetry ▼

Like • Comment • View 3 comments

November 18, 2022 at 6:14pm

#1040810

One More

one
more day

wonderful
to be alive

in sunshine or rain
there is joy in my heart

for each and every day
I shall be forever grateful

Notes on the Octet form of poetry ▼

1 Like • Comment

November 8, 2022 at 11:48am

#1040403

Elmer Gantry

When Elmer Gantry praised the Lord,
his congregation sat entranced,
as air crackled with Gospel zeal
down the hallways to his sermon.

Immoral sinners felt the heat
when Elmer Gantry praised the Lord
and promised they would burn in Hell
for indulging carnal desires.

They were cautioned to tread softly
and not do anything foolish,
when Elmer Gantry praised the Lord
in tone so sharp it made them quake.

Heaven's field of fragrant daisies
awaited those who would repent
and fill the plate they passed around
while Elmer Gantry praised the Lord.

Notes ▼

Like • Comment

November 7, 2022 at 4:16pm

#1040380

Sunday Morning

Sunday morning church,
where bells are ringing
and folks are singing,
"We shall overcome!"

Sunday morning perch
beside the dumpster,
abandoned youngster
prays that help will come.

1 Like • Comment

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