*Magnify*
    March     ►
SMTWTFS
     
1
2
3
4
5
6
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Archive RSS
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/heartburn/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/6
Rated: 13+ · Book · Family · #2058371
Musings on anything.
BCOF Insignia

My blog was filled up. I'm too lazy to clean it out. So I started a new one.
Previous ... 2 3 4 5 -6- 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
August 5, 2021 at 3:18pm
August 5, 2021 at 3:18pm
#1015186
Prompt: Write about your favorite thing to do in August. Do you have a favorite tradition to do in the summer/ winter depending on where you live that you look forward to every year?

         In August, I usually panic that summer is almost over and I haven't done some summer things. I think it's ingrained from the school days which I haven't seen in decades, but from which I have not escaped. In August you finish vacations, buy school or work clothes and office or school supplies. The days get shorter, but the weather is still scorching.

         If I haven't bought an ice cream cone all summer, this month it has to be done. It's not the same in fall or winter. There has to be a picnic or cookout somewhere. I haven't had one since last year when indoor entertaining was still frowned on. Unfortunately, the door is closing on indoor entertaining this year, too.

         When I was a kid, we had family fishing trips. We don't do that any more, but I did drive to a county lake one day this week where we used to go with my grandparents, who had given up driving by that time. It's still a small park, no camping or picnicking allowed, just boating and fishing. But there are homes built all around it now. It was a mild sunny morning and memories flooded back.

         The last of the tomatoes have to be harvested. This year I didn't have any but one Roma and a handful of tiny Asian pear tomatoes, thanks to the prolific deer in my neighborhood. I didn't grow anything else, but basil and cantaloupe which the deer ate before any melons appeared.

         I'm not buying any new clothes this year. I'm not working and have too many out of date clothes to give away or toss.

         I will still feel wistful in the late afternoon as the trees cast longer and longer shadows across the lawn. I recall watching those shadows from the window of a college study lab. Now, there's no excitement of a new school year and seeing my friends again, but a twinge of that anticipation still resides as fall approaches. The end of summer tells me life is flying by.
July 14, 2021 at 11:22pm
July 14, 2021 at 11:22pm
#1013660
         If fixing a hot dog just for me, the perfect one starts with an all beef frank. The roll should not be so big or flavorful that it takes away from the frank and its toppings, like a special bakery bun. Just a cheap bun is good.

         The toppings include warm sauerkraut, mustard, onions, sweet pickle relish to start. Options would be shredded cheddar cheese or cheese sauce, and no bean chili. It all depends on what the bun will hold.

         I have fantasized about a hot dog business (I have often fantasized about businesses that I never started) and calling it The Dog House. At the window, the customer starts by telling the kind of hot dog: all beef, traditional Oscar Meyer wiener, turkey dog, or veggie dog. I know, why would a vegetarian go into a hot dog restaurant, but they go everywhere, Only one kind of bun available. Toppings are buffet style. Order fries or not and one size soda. Sodas are self service. I probably would have to offer at least one simple dessert.

         So one topping island is the hot stuff: sauerkraut, chili, cheese sauce. As many safety precautions as necessary to keep it clean. One island is the cold stuff: chopped onions, relish, standard mustard, ketchup. Sodas the usual fast food arrangement. Plenty of room in between so traffic isn't blocked, and employees can clean and refill. Out door dining as well as in. The idea is a fast lunch, no being late back to work.

         I've considered a drive-thru window, but that defeats the creation of your own hot dog.
June 18, 2021 at 4:16pm
June 18, 2021 at 4:16pm
#1012105
Prompt: List 30 things you want to do before you die.

1. Learn to drive a stick shift.

2. Travel--Boston, Maine, Portugal, Scotland, Channel Islands, Spain, Greece, South Dakota, Alaska, American Samoa, Wyoming, India, Italy, Madagascar, South Africa, Egypt. . . You name it, I haven't been there, but I want to go!

3. Fall in love again with someone who loves me.

4. Write a completed, decent novel.

5. Write a non-fiction book.

6. Be financially comfortable (not rich but unworried)
.
7. Be friends with a nice celebrity.

8. Develop an idea to improve conditions and elevate standard of living on reservations.

9. Create memories with my young nephew and great nieces and great nephews.

10. Lose 20 pounds and keep it off.

11. Finally, host a successful party that isn't just a family gathering.

12. Master the art of growing petunias and pansies, maybe geraniums.

13. Inspire other people to be kinder, gentler, more sensitive, and patient people.

14. Keep my car clean, inside and out. (It is now pretty much)

15. This is kind of vague, but leave something of value for the next generation.

16. Have someone, anyone, see some wisdom in me, provided there is some.

17. Encourage others to treasure the arts, painting, music, theater, sculpture, dance, literature. Share my passion with them.

18. Eat more vegetables.

19. Find the perfect hairstyle for me!

20. Have a few close friends to care when I die. that means I have to build those relationships now.

21. Set a good example for others to follow.

22. Encourage the spiritual growth of other people, especially confessing Christians.

23. Teach people to pray who don't feel comfortable doing it.

24. To know Jesus better than I do, to grow in my friendship with Him.

25. Shed my old inhibitions, negative thinking, wrong self images, my own mental barriers.

26. To be a prayer warrior.

27. Gain more knowledge.

28. Develop leadership skills.

29. Change the direction of someone else's life for the better.

30. To keep being creative and dreaming of new things.








May 25, 2021 at 3:00pm
May 25, 2021 at 3:00pm
#1010762
Day 3112: May 25, 2021

Prompt: Write about a time of transition.



         Time flies. I've picked about a pint or more of strawberries from my deck. They were small this year because we had a cool spell in between warm weather patches. They turned red too soon, so they were small but sweet. Delicious.


         My white peonies are bloomed and gone. I deadheaded them today. I have three shades of pink, the pale one is almost done. The medium pink are on the shady side of the house. They don't get as big; maybe it's the variety, or maybe the extra shade. The dark pink ones are on the sunny side, but also have smaller blooms. They all smell great to walk by them. If you cut them, you have to check for ants before carrying into the house. That strong fragrance beckons the insects.

         The irises were beautiful this year and plentiful. Their purple beards were very deep, more colorful than many I've seen. I deadheaded a few of those today, too. I have to hit the main bed of them soon.

         The azaleas didn't do so great. I believe they were over pruned last year. My dad planted these things in the ground, and most are too close together. He couldn't predict how they would fill in his beds. Any digging and transplanting would be a major project, which I would be willing to undertake in the fall. However, since his death, I cannot afford to keep up the house much longer, and will have to sell it. I don't want to invest time and energy and my heart into something I have to leave behind.

         Just like the seasons move on and the vegetation cycles, we have to accept change, too. This house, this yard, hold many memories for me, many emotions. I don't want to leave it behind. I've been quite comfortable here. The location is great. The house itself is old and needs repairs. The furnishings are outdated, not timeless. The utilities, the taxes, the upkeep are just too much over the long haul. I'll be broke in a few years. I've tried looking on the bright side, that I can start over somewhere else. in a cheaper county, I can find a new church, make new friends, my next adventure. But I keep finding remarkable things like these flowers and I just don't want to leave them.

         Sometimes change is good. Sometimes we regret it. Maybe we can adjust and accept it.
May 12, 2021 at 12:20pm
May 12, 2021 at 12:20pm
#1010062
         I picked the first strawberry from my plants today. The iris bed is a carpet of purple and white. The climbing roses are blooming. The clematis on the mailbox is about spent. The daffodils are long since gone. The peonies are 2 feet tall and need propping up. Spring has sprung. I love it.

         oh, I almost forgot. The blackberry bushes are full of blooms and tiny berry babies. The potted tomatoes are even surviving these cold nights!
April 6, 2021 at 5:28pm
April 6, 2021 at 5:28pm
#1007900
         As if it wasn't bad enough that the seven year old last week pulled all the daffodils in my front yard off at the bloom. No chance of putting in a vase. I had denied myself cutting one or tow to put in the kitchen because the yard would look empty. But they all went away in an instant anyway.

         Now, yesterday, Easter Monday, the five year old pulled up my Easter lily. It always just appears around Easter then blooms when all the other lilies do. It won't this year. It was in a patch heavily mulched, not a grassy area.

         They dragged out old gutters from behind the shed, and the landscape light bases (which they had broken) and were finding whatever they could to build a fort. One was digging up my grass. It's the most visible part of the back yard from the street. I tried explaining this is a subdivision and we can't treat like farm property. I had just gathered up old tools and bricks and things they had dragged out, so I could cut the grass Now it was all out again.

         These kids with too much imagination and energy are great nieces and nephews, one nephew same age group. I love them but I dread them at the same time. They bring disorder to my orderly life. While they were destroying one corner of my yard, I reminded myself they were building dreams and being creative. Was that more important than what my neighbors thought of my ugly yard?

         When I realized that I can't afford to keep living here much longer, my biggest expense being taxes and insurance, I was a little leery. Moving somewhere new, not as conveniently located, maybe not so nice next door neighbors, perhaps needing a new slate of doctors and a new church. Then it was a little exciting. I no longer have any attachments, no spouse, no aging parent, no job. I could move anywhere! I could live in a different country! As long as it's budget level. Then it hit me that I can't move away from these kids. Three of them lost their young father to a heart attack; they still don't understand. I have involved myself in their lives and try to support their mother. The other is my youngest brother's only boy, a gift late in his life. I can't move far because I'm attached to these kids. I do need to find a cheaper county, but with easy access to these destructive kids.
March 29, 2021 at 4:34pm
March 29, 2021 at 4:34pm
#1007275
Prompt: What are 5 things you want to accomplish in April?

There's so much going on right now that I am unusually stressed. How do I focus on just a few things?

First, I need daily exercise. It has to become a priority.

2. Lose weight. Exercise is only part of it. Sleeping right, eating right. I hate giving up bread of all kinds. Ant then there's portion control. If a little meat loaf is tasty, why not a little more? Wrong.

3. Decluttering the sheds and garage .I need to put the house on the market. I have my late father's tools and antique equipment and my late brother's toy collections to disperse. (My dad inherited them in 2012 and never did anything with them.)

4. Get control of my finances. I have a bleak looking future if I live more than 4 years. I have to get my budget under control and increase my income.

5. I'm giving myself one year to empty the house and streamline my belongings and find a suitable cheap place to live. So I'm going to have monthly goals. In April before the temperature soars, I'm cleaning out the sheds and going to Good Will.


Plus the summer yardwork begins. Plus I still want to keep my reading goal for the year and occasionally write.
January 15, 2021 at 11:50pm
January 15, 2021 at 11:50pm
#1002191
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who was born on this day in 1929, observed, “The beauty of nonviolence is that in its own way and in its own time it seeks to break the chain reaction of evil.” He also famously declared: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

         The above quotes were taken from an article by Jim Dennison. They are worth sharing. In light of all the violence of 2020 and the beginning of 2021, his words can enlighten our thinking and the words we use in talking about current events. I'm sure he meant all violence by all people.

         With that in mind, stay home the next few days. Do not go to your state capitols or if you live in one, don't go near government buildings or public places. Think of your own safety and your family's. Then think of being a peacemaker, not a troublemaker. And stay out of DC. There are traps laid for you. You will be tricked into looking guilty of things you did not do. You will be swept up with the crowd into places you don't want to go. Government employees are going to allow this to happen just to stir things up. So just stay close to home. You can make your peaceful statements heard later on in a safe environment.

December 31, 2020 at 5:18pm
December 31, 2020 at 5:18pm
#1001153
It's always a great time for introspection on the last night of the year. What made you happy in 2020 and what made you sad in 2020?


         I think a lot of people will find it easier to think of the sad part. For me it was watching my father pass away. I knew it was coming. I was sitting there waiting for it to happen. There was a long time between breaths. A respiratory therapist came in and couldn't find a heartbeat. She was very calm about it. I couldn't respond to her. Within minutes 5 nurses were there checking. When someone looked to the charge nurse for confirmation, and she nodded, I teared up. But I thought I had it under control.

         Suddenly, one of those young nurses bent over to hug me tightly and I lost it. I boohooed out loud and held her back (despite COVID risks). I don't remember what anyone said, though I know the gist of it. For a few minutes I was engulfed with sadness. Nothing can prepare you for that moment.

         Happy moments are harder to remember. Most of those were glimpses of the kids in my life. When the three year old just forgot himself and jumped into my lap. Watching the five year old trying to coordinate a fist bump or elbow bump with great grandpa. Just little things, fleeting moments.

         My church tried to find alternate means of worship to satisfy the governor's restrictions. I stayed with a very small group who did an early outdoor service, shorter than usual. Another small group did a short indoor service, spaced appropriately, with no singing (the law). It got colder, after the mosquitoes disappeared. One day it rained. I got the feeling we had rediscovered worship. We went to great lengths and discomfort to be together and pray and meditate. The outdoor group had squirrels and songbirds. The Sunday after my father died, I brought four children with me. They ran around away from us and added background noise. It almost doubled attendance. I felt a kinship to those first century Christians, before buildings and formalities encumbered the church. That's a happy outcome.
December 21, 2020 at 4:31pm
December 21, 2020 at 4:31pm
#1000620
         My dear father has passed at age 92. He suffered a lot the last month, but in the end, he passed peacefully. Now I have so much work with the funeral home, the insurance, the cemetery, family and friends, banking, etc. I not only lost my father, but the person I live with, and the person for whom I physically cared.

         I'm in for major adjustments. It will be lonely not having another person in the house. I won't need to change his bed or wake him up to get ready for bed. I cooked for him. I have no incentive to make a hot meal just for me. I can come and go as I please. You would think that would make me happy and feel free. It feels weird and makes me sad.

         I didn't mind taking care of him. I would have done it longer. I wasn't ready to let him go. I'm also worried about my future. I'll be okay for about six months, but then who knows?

         There's the grief, the loss, the fear of the future, the loneliness, but also guilt. What could have I done differently. Was I too impatient when he was in the hospital trying to rip off his leads, oxygen, and his catheter? Did I get an edge to my voice when I tried to stop him from getting out of bed? Could I have done something else to relieve his discomfort? Probably, but I'll never know for sure. I loved him. He was a good man, and now there is a hole in my heart and in my life.

631 Entries · *Magnify*
Page of 64 · 10 per page   < >
Previous ... 2 3 4 5 -6- 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next

© Copyright 2024 Pumpkin (UN: heartburn at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Pumpkin has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Log in to Leave Feedback
Username:
Password: <Show>
Not a Member?
Signup right now, for free!
All accounts include:
*Bullet* FREE Email @Writing.Com!
*Bullet* FREE Portfolio Services!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/heartburn/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/6