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A modest journal. |
| My life's ups and downs... |
| The second morning of the new year is here. In St. Petersburg, Florida, it's cool with a fine mist of rain, about 63 degrees Fahrenheit. My doors and windows are wide open and the air is gently circulating while the cats and I kick back. I've made my "to-do" list and am planning the day. On the last day of the year, I met with a few friends and then celebrated the New Year with my daughter, her family and in-laws. It was fun and festive with fireworks and the whole 120 yards --- Alabama beat Michigan with a final score of 38/0. Afterward, I came home and stayed awake watching television until after 3:00 a.m. I was a bit wired and it took a while to wind down. So yesterday, I spent the day in my PJs. Today, I am getting out and about. The rent is due and I want to run a few errands. May we all have a Happy New Year! |
| They let me go on August 28, 2015... I am unemployed once again. I wonder whether or not I am employable. When I was young, everyone seemed to like me and want me. Now that I am pushing 60, it seems to be quite the opposite and no matter how hard I try, how hard I work, I cannot seem to hold a job. There is a sick place in the pit of my stomach that doesn't want to go away. I think it is the uncertainty, the grief of feeling unwanted and unable to meet obligations. Where do I go from here? That is the pressing question that confronts me, day-after-day. I am humiliated and, apparently, inadequate. God help me. |
| I found a home church... have been attending since mid-June --- Calvary Chapel, Pastor Danny Hodges. Out-of-work since May 13, 2015, I found a job about two weeks ago. I like it. The main reason, I opened this journal today is because I made a mistake yesterday. A girl stole my parking spot and I confronted her... It was pouring down rain and she knew exactly what she was doing. I should have let it slide and "considered the source," but I let my carnal nature rule and told her what I thought... As you can guess, she wasn't particularly receptive to my correction and it was somewhat traumatizing as these things generally are... thus the reason we are suppose to "let go and let God." "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord; I will repay." God help me let indiscretions go when they happen, no matter how big or small they seem. I forgive the lady who stole my spot and commit her into your hands. Jesus died to save her soul as well as mine. |
| Are there any viable churches in this area for me? I tried out another new church today... As I entered, it was dark inside; the musicians were off-key, off-beat and just not worshipful. The pastor---though I am sure has a good heart---was unlearned and meager, at best. |
| Sonbeam Via De Christo Weekend #64 (for the ladies) begins today! Another hour and I will be leaving here to join the team for fun and fellowship as we serve God together. (Men's weekend was last weekend and we're hearing it was fabulous.) The draw back for me today? ...leaving my little kitten Gabriel. Goober is always fine when I am gone for a few days, but Gabriel is so young and he will be staying at a friends and being checked on twice a day until I return. I am comforted in knowing that God and his angels will watch over Gabriel and Goober as they spend this weekend without me. Otherwise, I am extremely excited and counting down the minutes until I get to leave and meet up with my fellow Christians. |
| It's been six days since I was terminated... God gave me a dream that opened my eyes and I now know that I have been taking jobs for which I am over-qualified; that has been the crux of the problem. I am praying for open doors that no man can shut and favor beyond measure. "If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land." (Isaiah 1:19) |
| Well, it happened. A girl I worked with (up until today at least) blamed me for one of her mistakes. I called her on it and refused to back down. Why can't I just let God defend me? I tried to reason with her to no avail, and finally called her a "know it all." So, today, I was terminated. It would be better if I could just take being abused without comment. Today's world is so bass-ackward. However, I do believe we reap what we sow... I must have sowed some pretty bad things to be reaping such things. God help me. I was wondering how our relationship could go forward, but was also expecting an apology. Never happened. God forgive her. I release her to You, be merciful to her as You are to me. |
| I am feeling so much better today. Had a very full weekend. Just typed up my report from the District 7 Al-Anon Monthly Meeting to present to the Friends of Lois AFG on Thursday evening... since I am it's Group Representative (GR) and, therefore, attended the meeting on behalf of the group. Yesterday afternoon I attended a Ultreyas in Lakeland (Sonbeam Via De Christo) --- a pleasant evening of fellowship and communion. I went to church this morning and believe I have finally got the message. Next time I receive a telephone call from an irate person in the mood for a fight, I will do my best to diffuse the situation rather than succumb to it. God be my peace; love through me. Help me to treat these "callers" like upset, defiant children who just need understanding, love and patience. |
| I had a wonderful morning, early afternoon. I am called to be a team member for the upcoming Via De Christo weekend #63. God is calling me apart... convicting me to come closer, move closer to Him... separate myself for Him. He wants me purified, sanctified. I embrace that, I embrace Him. It's weird because prior to this day, I thought I was doing well. I am feeling temptation now in such a way that it is clear to me. I believe the devil wants to defile me, make me unclean for service. I am seeing clearly. God is opening my eyes. Today, even getting on Facebook... I don't know, I seem to be more Spiritually sensitive. |
| It's cool this morning in St. Petersburg, Florida... I keep the windows open as much as possible in the winter time since we're all closed up during the summer heat. It's looking festive as people are putting up their decorations for Christmas, more and more so as each day passes. I've gotten my grandsons their beloved Xbox One and am anticipating buying a couple of bean bag chairs for them as well... since they'll need a comfortable place to game and my living room is in need of furniture. =) Next weekend, Lord willing, after paying the bills... I hope to get my Christmas tree. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! |
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