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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/nannamom/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/10
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #2017254
My random thoughts and reactions to my everyday life. The voices like a forum.
I do not know quite what happened or when , but my hubby and I now qualify for seniors' discounts at some venues. This creates a quandary; in order to save money, but not face, we have to admit to our age. HMMMM..... We definitely do not consider ourselves to be old. In this day and age ,when people as a whole are living longer and healthier lives why are 'young seniors', those in their fifties, like moi, considered 'old'?? It's so true that age is just a perception! "Maturity" is very objective/subjective, and I object! Whew, a few years have skittered by since I composed this biography block. Those "fifties" are in the rear view mirror and they are distant, fond memories. Oh, I do not plan to stop writing any time soon.
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November 24, 2021 at 6:27pm
November 24, 2021 at 6:27pm
#1022265
PROMPT November 24th

In a previous prompt, I asked you to write about your
best, or favorite teacher. Tonight write about your darkest teacher.
         
         I wrote about my 'darkest' teacher in a past blog and this is that post.

                   
         
                   
March 20, 2020 at 2:41pm
         
642
Mr. Sensitive
PROMPT March 20th

Share a time when your mouth hung open in shock/awe/surprise/wonder etc. What was it that made you feel that way?





It was my second year of university. I'd already made the mistake of queuing in the wrong line for registration. Apparently a marriage and a surname change meant I should've been in the line for the 'm's'. All the classes I'd requested were available and that made me happy. One course I'd enrolled in would feature creative writing and this excited me. The rest of my classes concentrated on scholarly English. Being free to create would be fun. Ya, right...
For the first session of Creative Writing the professor seemed a bit distant, but hey, we were strangers. He spoke with the other students and avoided approaching me with a greeting. He stared at me a great deal and I just shrugged it off. I didn't know him, so I didn't feel as if we should've been familiar.
For the second session, this professor took offense or disliked something I said. Perhaps I sensed he was treating the class as an English-as-a-second-language course and I asked about this. When I'd registered this had not been my understanding. Let me say I have always respected educators, I loved learning, and I earned top grades. He blew up! To say I was flabbergasted is an understatement. I had not been rude. We were adults and I anticipated civil , respectful behaviour. This did not end here.
As if I was a misbehaving child in elementary school and summoned to the principal's office, I was requested to attend the office of the dean of English. Puzzled, I did as asked. Without preamble, the male official explained that he'd like me to drop this class. My mouth probably fell open. What? Did I not have the right to choose my classes? Had I not paid good money for those classes? And more importantly, why?
The professor had complained immediately to this dean. He felt emotionally unprepared to see me and teach me everyday. My presence caused him undue stress. He was kidding, right? How could I have affected him, burrowed under his sensitive skin in just two brief sessions?
The dean asked me to be reasonable. He pointed out that I was young. I should be flexible. Again, I felt confused. It was like pulling teeth, but finally he got to the so-called reason I irked his professor. Unbelievably, the prof claimed I resembled his recently ex-wife, and it had not been an amicable separation. And this was supposed to be my problem?
Anyway, I thought this over and I realized that professor had some serious issues he was projecting onto me. Did I need that grief? Because the term had already begun, registration in alternate classes proved to be of slim pickings. I had to stitch together two part-time classes to replace the full credit one I'd been asked to leave. I also resented the fact that these two part-time classes were only offered in the evenings, and it would mean I'd have to return to the campus then after day classes. Ridiculous, no?
          Back to the current prompt re a 'dark' teacher...I've only ever experienced the unpleasantness of two teachers, the professor I write about above, and a male high school English teacher. Hmmm, what are the odds that both of my worst educators are male and taught the subject English? The majority of my teachers have been inspirational, male and female. I suppose two bad ones are not a resounding number.
         I cannot recall the high school teacher's name, nor do I care to remember it. I managed to put him and his bullying ways behind me. It never seemed to occur to him to act civilly. He liked to toss essays and tests at students instead of handing them over. He'd strut up and down the aisles created by the placing of the desks and fling the papers toward each student. Some ducked. Some cowered. Some threw up their arms in defense.
         His voice bellowed, or as I came to view it, blustered. He liked to be confrontational. Sarcasm spewed from him. Not surprisingly, no one dared to offer opinions, or venture to answer his questions. Being involved in a class conversation was a rare occasion and it felt more like being embroiled. I dare say no one believed him to be their favourite.
November 23, 2021 at 9:07pm
November 23, 2021 at 9:07pm
#1022205
PROMPT November 23rd

In your blog today, tell us your favorite joke. It can be long, short, it does not matter. What makes this particular joke your favorite one? C'mon, show us your sense of humor!
         
         
         
         Just as I am a Mom of three and one single child is not my favourite I can not profess to have one favourite joke. I laugh at all kinds of jokes. Puns are special. Dad jokes are often corny groaners, but I like them. When I was a youngster Pollock jokes making fun of the Polish were all the rage. (Maybe because my step-grandfather could be rather stern and he was Polish.) ( That could be a play on words right there, Polish, or is it polish?) Some knock-knock jokes are good for a laugh. Blonde jokes poke fun at the hopelessly blonde and presumed short of brain cells, yet they too are amusing.
         As I may have stated, I have three children and they happen to be blonde. Whenever I hear, or read a blonde joke not only do I giggle, but I remember my eldest. Carrie collected blonde jokes for a time and delighted in sharing them. What made this hilarious was her penchant for forgetting the punch lines. A blonde delivering a blonde joke and botching the delivery. Ha.
         In honour of Carrie, her siblings, my siblings, and the other blondes of the world here are some choice blonde jokes.
          A young man takes his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They have great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asks her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was 'get the quarterback, get the quarterback.' I'm like hello. it's only 25 cents!"
         Why do blondes tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? They do not want to wake the sleeping pills.
         Blonde: What does IDK mean? Brunette: I don't know. Blonde: Oh my god, nobody does!
For variety's sake here are a few dad jokes.
         I'm starting a new dating service in Prague. It's called Czech-Mate.
          Why is grass dangerous? It's full of blades.
         How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
         Did you hear the rumour about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it.
         Yes, yes, all groaners...
         The best laughs are those that erupt spontaneously and unintentionally. Years ago, my son and I attempted to describe organ donation to his daughters, fourteen and ten. They bombarded us with comments. "Oh, so you're dead?" "Like what do they do with it?" "You mean the heart and stuff?" The youngest decided she'd like a brain transplant. She thought a new one would be better. Maybe she could have her big sister's brain?
         Returning home from a road trip one morning hubby and I were flagged down by a provincial police officer. Dutifully, hubby rolled down the car window with a "good morning officer." The officer smiled and replied. We both heard, "Looking for rookies." The two of us laughed and answered, "We're past that now." We were some kind of special. This policeman was conducting a roadside sobriety test and he'd actually said, "Looking for drinkers." Ahhh...
November 22, 2021 at 8:26pm
November 22, 2021 at 8:26pm
#1022167
PROMPT November 22nd

You have found that you can do something no one else can do. What is this special talent you have? Would it be considered a 'Super Power'? If you could have chosen this special ability, what would it be?
         
         
Me attempting to initiate a conversation with a teenager: "So, how was school today?"
         The teenaged master of brevity : "Fine."
         Moi still game to converse: "Oh did anything happen?
          Teenager clearly unable to both draw breath and speak: "Maybe."
          Me trying a different tack:" Did you see your friends?"
         The reluctant teenager: "Sure."
         Moi furthering our torture: "Would you describe your day today as good, or bad?"
          The short answer pro: "Dunno."
         Moi determined to connect: "Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend?"
         Delivered with a nonchalant shrug: "Meh."
         Stubborn me praying to strike articulate gold: "Have you any meaningful insights re current events?"
         The teenager rallies for a brief shake of the head: "Nah."
         My pathetic use of sarcasm / shock therapy: "Your parents have decided to relocate to a monastery where they will pledge to follow a strict code of silence. Your presence will be mandatory. Questions of any kind will not be tolerated. Everyone must sacrifice their worldly goods. You leave tomorrow."
         The tuned-out oblivious teenager: "Cool."
         As most brave souls who have struggled to communicate with a teenager know it's best described as pulling teeth with a teaspoon while balancing on a heaving ship's deck. It is a feat of derring-do not for the faint of heart. Beating one's head against a brick wall would be less painful. Irritating repetition of past toddler patter and non-stop questions of 'why' resurface now as fond, blissful, cherished memories. What has happened? Bewilderment and frustration reign. Where did the garrulous child go?
         The special, one of a kind super power I choose for myself is the ability to translate teenage eye rolls, slouching, shrugs, pointed stares, and mono-syllables. No more guessing. No more one-sided charades. No more sullen silences. No more stomping. No more moans, groans, or sighs. No more dramatic threats and waterworks. ( I did mention frustration, right?) In short, I shall de-mystify the teenage persona.
         That dismissive 'sure', or 'fine' will not confound, or annoy me. With my newfound capability the entire, broad, infinite, profound world of the teenager will be exposed. My eyes will be opened. I will understand. I will appreciate that less is more when it applies to words. Words are precious and not to be flung willy-nilly.
         Knowledge is power. Cool.
November 21, 2021 at 10:34am
November 21, 2021 at 10:34am
#1022068
PROMPT November 21st

Tonight/today, listen to this beautiful song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFeLhsZjMRU

Where does your mind go when listening to this? What emotions surface as you experience the music? If you've seen the movie (Return To Me), tell us how this affected you. Has it changed you at all?
         
         
         I remember viewing this movie years ago and thinking of it as a tug-at-the-heartstrings type of fare. I cannot fathom falling in love with the very someone who is still alive because my deceased wife donated her heart as an organ donor. It's a dramatic twist.Is there a residual attraction? How could two people fall in love without wondering/fretting about this? Does one re-experience the loss of a partner anew? Does the organ recipient feel compelled to be grateful? Could the specter of the dead wife shadow a new relationship? Will the woman given a new lease on life be able to maintain her individuality?
         I've never viewed this video featuring Tony Bennett and Vicente Fernandez before. Both of their voices are amazing. They sing with such tender emotion."My darling if I hurt you, sorry, please forgive me and say you are mine."
         How does this make me feel? Optimistic, hopeful, a believer in true love. The good goes hand in hand with the bad. Sorrow and elation co-exist. Certainty and doubt are close relatives. People are complicated. Worthwhile partnerships require effort and commitment.
         Has this movie, or video changed me? Nope, I do not think they have. I enjoyed them as a bit of entertainment, but they are not so impactful they altered my life. My beliefs did not undergo a drastic restructuring. I did not attempt to base my life upon this romance. I've been happy in a forty-two year marriage and that experience is mine, very real, and unlike any other.
November 20, 2021 at 12:20pm
November 20, 2021 at 12:20pm
#1022015
PROMPT November 20th

In your blog tonight/today, write about a story you've been told, or use a newscast story and CREATE a conspiracy theory. Tell us why you chose this subject, and of course, provide 'evidence' that your theory could be rooted in truth.
         Who hasn't heard the theory attributed to the book of Genesis that states "ashes to ashes, dust to dust." Conspiracy theory afficionados would have us believe that dust can be eradicated. They tout all manner of miracle cleaning products that they claim repel and prevent the build-up of dust. They preach their propoganda via commercials showcasing smiling women wielding wonder cloths banishing dust forever. According to them dust can be removed never to reappear.Huh, as if...
         I refute this ridiculous claim. No amount of polishing and cleaning has ever frightened the dust in my home. It is impervious to any efforts I once made to make it feel unwelcome. It swirls. It accumulates. It clings.
         The dust in my home has metamorphosed into great, shaggy, grey bunnies. Like most mammals, these creatures shed hair and leave a trail in their wake. If the sun beams and creates wide swaths of warmth, my wispy housemates stretch out and lounge in it. When the temperature drops, they huddle together under the couch.
         Now the dust bunnies do not actually hiss when I spray cleanser on my furniture. They separate and regroup within seconds.My furnishings exist as their stomping grounds and they never fail to deposit their DNA all over it. They thrive. They multiply. They linger.
         I submit that the denial of dust is perpetrated by clean freaks intent upon subjugating us to their OCD ways.Some people do not like to get their hands dirty.
         Dust cannot be swept under the rug. Are OCDers denying their heritage? "All go to the same place, all come from dust, and all return to dust." Dust is family.
November 19, 2021 at 6:25pm
November 19, 2021 at 6:25pm
#1021976
PROMPT November 19th

We've all had one or several epiphanies in our lives. Tonight, write about a moment in your life that changed the way you view the world.
         
         
         
         
         
         A few months after I was married, I had an epiphany. An incident opened my eyes to an ugly world I'd not been privy to before that time. My innocence, my naivety disappeared. The shroud, the veil, whatever it was had been torn from my eyes and I could no longer view someone as I once had.
         One evening while hubby and I were out our home was burgled. We returned to find a kitchen window forced open and a drawer rifled. In that drawer I'd placed a large sum of cash the previous night. A family member had repaid a loan during a supper party. I remember feeling angry. That sum had been earmarked for my tuition and now it was gone. How could I replace it?
         Of course we notified the local police force and filed a report. When the investigating officer asked if we suspected anyone I said no while my spouse named a culprit, my only brother. I glared at him for daring to suggest such a horrid thought, but I could not argue with his logic.
         Mark had been present when I'd been handed the cash. That had been the one and only time he'd visited us and thus knew our whereabouts. Nothing else had been taken, or ransacked during the robbery. The clincher? What thief took the time to carefully move and reposition the ceramic knick-knacks on the kitchen window sill? Wouldn't a theft entail more smash and grab? Didn't thefts require a certain amount of haste? In and out? Who else knew of our plans?
          I could not confront my brother, he vanished. Eventually, he turned up in custody, jailed for other thefts. Some small comfort I was not his sole victim.
         I felt betrayed and cut him from my life. I did not care to know where he lived, or what he did. My epiphany? I was related to a common thief who cared only for himself. He never pitched in and helped anyone, nor did he ask for help. He just took.
          Decades later we'd re-located to a new village and now had our own family of three children. My husband ran his own business, a garage, and I worked in home health care. One day out of the blue, Mark appeared with no apologies, nothing. He charmed his way back into our lives and my son especially took a shine to this mystery uncle. My long lost brother found a job and claimed to be ready to settle down. I'm the big sister and grudgingly gave him the benefit of the doubt. He could have changed, right?
         Like everything with my brother this turned out to be a lie. Within a couple of months he once again stole from us and slithered away without a word of farewell. This time, he took a thousand dollars cash I had been given by my fellow Guide leaders from cookie sales. I would run the proceeds to the bank every other day as it dribbled in. Mark also emptied our freezer. To add insult to injury he decided he wanted the case consisting of twelve boxes of Guide cookies I'd purchased for our family. So, once again I was left to cover money he took and replace hundreds of dollars worth of food. In the days to follow, we noticed other items missing such as extension cords, jackets, clothing and more.
         Mark did not give a damn about me, or my family. He took what he wanted...again. Over time, stories about him surfaced. He'd spent years in and out of jail, yes, but his excuse for the robberies was a drug habit. Rumours claimed he'd also cultivated and sold marijuana to support his dependency on harder pharmaceuticals. Huh, a fancy word for the hard drugs, the debilitating kind.
         Blood is not thicker than water. My brother has no use for his siblings. Apparently, he searches me out when he wants something more than a close relationship. My epiphany: we are related in name only. Just because we share the same set of parents does not mean we are close. It's so true that we cannot choose our family. Any trust there may have been is long gone.
November 18, 2021 at 8:03pm
November 18, 2021 at 8:03pm
#1021906
PROMPT November 18th

An easy prompt for tonight. I'm tired, don't want to think much, so an easy one. What did you do during the 'Great Shutdown For The Upgrade' of WDC today? Tell us all the 'gory' details!
         
         
         Hmmm, what did I do while my connection to WDC was momentarily severed leaving me adrift? Well, I obviously did not visit the site. And truth be told I did not engage in anything remotely gory, or illegal, or questionable, or mind-altering, or even exciting. I frittered away the time. I immersed myself in busy work. I did whatever I could to re-focus my attention and energy.
         You'd have to question the dust bunnies, I know they were studying me from their dark lair under the loveseat, but I may have surfed a wee bit longer on Facebook. There are so many memes to read and dramas to witness. It's mind boggling.
         I confess that this type of activity suits me especially since ice rain pelted my windows. Surfing from the comfort of my computer chair buffers me from the bracing sea air, the stinging salt water, and the screeching seagulls. My equilibrium is not seaworthy at the best of times and surfing from home I'm able to balance a cup of tea and a few cookies.
         Perhaps I lingered too long online reorganizing my extensive photo library. Two of the hairier dust bunnies rolled out of hiding to see for themselves if I was still breathing. They skedaddled quick enough when I jumped up and opened the pantry closet. I understand their fear. Hooked to the interior of that door is a broom, but they need not have worried. Sweeping , or the compulsion to clean had not caused my sudden movement. I'd searched for a supper inspiration. Not entirely surprised, I did not find any.
         I do recall changing a light bulb at some point. In the past I would've climbed up onto a kitchen chair without a further thought. Now with the replacement knee I must weigh all the pros and cons to conceive of a plan of action. Chairs have bucked me off. Chairs are often slippery. Chairs have a tendency to slide out from under me.
         This manoeuver emboldened me to attempt another household feat of derring-do. I hoisted my self up onto the edge of the bathtub and changed the shower curtain. I weebled and wobbled while I held my breath. Two for two, I did not mess up my landing.
         I ventured outside briefly to shuffle to the post office. For my considerable effort I rescued a few flyers and a credit card statement from my mail box. Shivering upon re-entry I considered completing an inventory of the mitts and such, but that proved to be a fleeting concept. I don't want it to be like that movie 'Field of Dreams.' If you build it they will come. If my mittens and gloves are ready and at hand, winter will assume it has been invited to visit.
         I doodled a wee bit. Christmas is imminent and I'm toying with the idea of painting some shirts as gifts.
         In the evening I succumbed to several episodes of yet another Britbox series. Deciphering the entertaining British slang amused me for a few hours. I learned "afters" refers to dessert as in what's after the meal? Makes sense to me.
         So, to sum up my day. What did I do? I idled.
November 17, 2021 at 9:58pm
November 17, 2021 at 9:58pm
#1021836
PROMPT November 17th

You have been invited to a posh dinner party hosted by one of the wealthiest people in your small town. When you arrive, your host does not greet you, and the butler informs you they have been missing since last night. A quick search by all the party goers finds him/her dead. Their body is in a small clearing in the woods behind the mansion. Being a modern day Nancy Drew/Joe Hardy type of person, you begin your own investigation. What do you find that leads you to the murderer. Who is the murderer? How was the host killed?
         
         
         
         Whew, the finding of my hostess' body is rather unfortunate for her anyway. I breathe a secret sigh of relief and stifle an urge to cheer. This is not the time, or the place. I may not be in the same social circle as she is, er, was, but I was raised with a modicum of good manners. All that fretting about which fork to lift to my mouth and wracking my mind to come up with suitable dinner conversation is now a moot point. I've been spared the opportunity to embarrass myself, but at the expense of another's life. I don't suppose this is a subject covered in an etiquette handbook.
         I didn't know Widow Snooty at all and no one was more surprised to receive an invitation than moi, yet I don't believe she'd have enjoyed being the spectacle she now is splayed on the muddied ground behind her mansion. It seems so undignified to be gawped at. Death doesn't care about the niceties at all. Her lavish attention to hair, make-up, clothing and accessories is apparent, but I doubt the murderer, or the specter of death even noticed. The great gaping hole in her chest was certainly difficult to ignore. The stunned expression forever etched on her visage made an indelible impression, too. Maybe that could be blamed on an embossed invitation stuffed into her mouth. Who knows?
         I recognized the silver lettering as a twin to the one I'd balled into my pocket at the start of the impromptu search. This could be evidence and if so, I could prove my innocence. One of the guests had silenced his / her hostess.
         I had not been the first to discover Snooty. I ran towards the high-pitched screams of another partygoer and in my haste I stumbled over the likely murder weapon, a bloody umbrella. Never had I ever seen such a large spike atop an umbrella. Had it been designed to serve as a means of protection from more than a downpour? And hold on a minute, who brought an umbrella on such a lovely, cloud-free evening?
         Before long uniformed officials arrived to set up a perimeter of yellow tape and I found myself jostled against a small crowd of gasping, murmuring onlookers. This had not turned out to be a chance to peak behind the brocade draperies so to speak, or was it? If this was how the wealthy treated each other they could keep it. I'd barely set foot into the great hall and now I'd been swept up into a murder enquiry.
         I decided no one would miss my absence and I hurried back to the mansion slipping in through the opened door. In the hush, I wandered from room to room searching for I knew not what. An 'ahem' startled me and I turned to see the rather stern-looking butler appraising me.
         On the upstairs wall adjacent to the sweeping staircase I peered at a portrait of two young girls. I blinked at the butler, arched my brows and nodded at the painting in its gilded frame.
         "Yes," he intoned, " that is Madam and her twin sister. Quite the uncanny resemblance don't you agree?"
          My head bobbed and something, a specific something on the canvas, caught my eye.
         "Is that Madam Snooty's custom umbrella? I believe I've seen it just a short time ago."
         The butler squinted and shook his head.
         "I've never noticed such an item in this house."
         Both of us startled as a crash of breaking glass echoed from a closed room down the corridor. Without hesitation we loped towards it. I followed the houseman as he shoved open the door. I didn't mind that he entered the room ahead of me, somebody had to be first.
         We stopped short and stared. A familiar woman stood before us with an armful of clothing. On the bed lay a half-filled suitcase. A shattered lamp littered the floor. Bureau drawers sprawled open.
          The woman flung her items as she gaped at us wild-eyed. Specks of what I suspected to be dried blood freckled her face and a bright red smear stained her dress.
         "Who are you?" she demanded.
         "Well, I don't believe any of us are Widow Snooty, do you?"
         With a stomp of her foot and a toss of her hair, my number one suspect shrieked, "I could 've been, I should've been!"
November 16, 2021 at 5:18pm
November 16, 2021 at 5:18pm
#1021765
PROMPT November 16th

This one will cover one of my favorite subjects, Food.
Do you follow a certain regimen/diet when it comes to eating?
Other than something you might be allergic to, are there any foods you avoid or limit yourself to? What's your favorite meal to prepare. Share your recipe if you like. (I have a 'killer' chocolate recipe!)
         
         
         Do I follow a regimen when it comes to eating? No, not at all. I'm on the best diet of all, the see-food diet. When I see food I eat it. Pretty well anything edible appeals to me and nothing causes me distress with allergies, or indigestion. I believe I am blessed with a cast iron stomach which I attribute to years of eating my father's cooking. I've endured a lifetime of training for the Gastric Olympics. He never met a spice he did not like to enhance his meals.
         That being said, of course I have favourites. Sometimes, I believe I am secretly descended from Italian stock. I have not completely abandoned this theory and stranger things are within the realm of possibility. Family legend teases that my mother had been sedated for my birth and upon awakening demanded to see her newborn. When the nurse handed me to her, my mother took one look and disowned me. Seeing my black hair and chubby cheeks, Mom decided I was an Italian ringer substituted for her baby. My parents were blondes and my colouring had to be that of a foreign child. The hospital also was within an Italian neighbourhood. After searching the birth records that showed I was the only newborn that particular day, my doubting parent accepted me. I dunno. I really do love Italian cuisine.
          I can honestly state that I like food, any food. I still experience cravings for my father's apple dumplings one of his signature dishes that did not feature copious amounts of onions. To this day I cannot prepare a whole ham without seeing him stud an entire ham with cloves. When I mix flour and shortening to create his signature Father B. biscuits, I remember he preferred to feel the dough with his hands and forgo the use of a spoon. I do not recall him measuring his ingredients. Dad embraced the pinch of this and a dab of that.
         I suppose I learned to eat with the tried and true philosophy of take it, or leave it. No one enjoyed preferential treatment with specialized meals. I never dreamed of complaining, but then again what would I have changed?
         
         
I believe cooking and baking should be attempted with a grain of salt, patience and a sense of humour. It's not always foolproof. It is a process. Here then is one of my recipes.
         ASPIRIN CAKE
         INGREDIENTS: Flour ( plus extra ), baking powder, salt, sugar (plus extra ), eggs (plus extra), shortening
         INSTRUCTIONS: Preheat oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit. Admonish eager girls to not open the oven door every thirty seconds. Remind them not to test for heat by touching the oven racks.
         Remove permission slips, the Safe Guide manual, Safe Guide forms, the Emergency Response Plan, the first aid kit, Health forms, and two squiggling Girl Guides from the kitchen table.
         Have one Guide measure out two cups of flour. Direct the girl who knocked the first girl's elbow to wipe up the spilled flour. The first Guide must now re-measure fresh flour.
         Emphasize and demonstrate the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon. Oversee the addition of baking powder and salt. Tell the girl who could not resist a taste of this mixture to get herself a glass of water.
         Instruct yet another girl to measure out a cup of sugar. Brush sugar that missed the bowl into the bowl.
         Supervise the messy addition of shortening and admonish girls from wiping their hands on their pants.
         Ask another eager baker to crack open an egg. Hand her a piece of paper towel to wipe egg from floor and remember to add "over the bowl" next time. Suggest she use a teaspoon to scoop out eggshells and not her bare fingers.
         Caution about over zealous stirring and stifle flour-cloud coughing. Watch with bated breath as Guides pour, drip and spoon most of the cake batter into a cake pan.
         Be prepared for bowl to be swiped clean with many fingers because girls forgot to use their spoons.
         Once the cake is finally and safely in the oven organize a clean-up. Guides awaiting a fresh cake will happily clean the kitchen and wash dishes. Hand the wettest Guide a mop to sop up dish water from floor. Bear in mind that every kitchen towel will be pressed into service and a few will be tossed willy-nilly.
         When the oven timer screeches remove cake from oven. Forgo icing, or frosting. The cake is still hot anyway and the bakers have reached the end of their patience. Baking and cleaning have piqued their appetites. Serve atop serviettes. No one wishes to wash more dishes.
         When you arrive back home, take an aspirin, smile, and begin planning next week's hands'-on meeting.
November 15, 2021 at 7:25pm
November 15, 2021 at 7:25pm
#1021709
PROMPT November 15th

You and your two best friends are going on a month-long road trip. Where are you going? What three items must be in your luggage for this trip to be a great experience for you.
         
         
         
          Nancy my 'bestest' pal and the other Nancy also my 'bestest' pal plus moi have chosen to partake of a momentous road trip. Sure, we may imbibe a few cocktails and a few bottles of wine, but we are not interested in breweries, or vineyards. Our taste buds fancy an eating / sampling tour, or two, or three. We wish to put our teeth into our adventure so to speak. Our motto: have sweet tooth will travel.
          Ugly Covid and all its restrictions have put a halt to our ultimate dream of visiting Switzerland for its chocolate. Where else can a gal or three with a passion for chocolate travel? We dreamed of sending sticky, smeared post cards back home. We'd imagined ourselves daintily perched upon outdoor cafe chairs sipping bois du chocolat and peering from behind our shaded eyewear at the vivant locals.
         Now we have adapted, adjusted, made other plans. Thanks to an evening of Google research, we've plotted a route that will take us down the eastern seaboard and over to Texas after a few days of pretending to be in Europe by way of Montreal. We will create a chocolate tour and dedicate it to the explorers that set forth to establish the Spice routes of days past. If anyone can do this, we can. We shall sniff out the chocolate. We shall drive and drive with chocolate as our reward. This heavenly concoction / confection shall be our guiding star.
         Before we ventured too far and in need of something to fortify us and whet our palates, we veered off to Niagara Falls to grab a quick travel bag of things chocolate. Yes, this is not strictly speaking the direct route to Montreal, but we had urges, okay? Sated, we waved farewell to Ontario and motored to Montreal just over the border in our neighbour, Quebec.
         Thank goodness we'd decided to be sensible and packed comfy walking shoes. In this marvelous city, we'd committed ourselves to two different walking tours which we had the foresight to schedule with a rest and recovery day in between. Day one found us partaking of a four and a half hour chocolate-tasting and walking tour. Hobbling, wobbling and teetering on heels would not have been a pretty sight as we gobbled sampled the offered treats. I may have lost count, sugar does cast a spell, but I believe I enjoyed nine sweets on this glorious day. I also recall sipping decadent cocoa drinks.
         On our third day here, we embarked upon another four and a half hour walking tour of Chinatown. Oh, the savoury smells tickled our noses and the delicacies satisfied our exotic whims.
         Promising to return in the future, Nancy, Nancy and I bid Montreal au revoir and praised each other for escaping the worst of our calorie expedition. We agreed it had been a most fortuitous idea to leave our belts at home. As is our habit, we nattered nonstop in the car and before we could complain of the cramped quarters we arrived at our next stop, Brooklyn, New York.
          Once more we set out to tour the premises of master chocolatiers and indulge in their delectable offerings. I believe there may be several selfies as evidence of our attentive devotion. We all packed our cell phones with their indispensable cameras. With the additional walking, we felt calories could not possibly catch us.
         Our foray found us in Hershey, Pennsylvania next. Now this is a town devoted to all things chocolate! It is created as a theme-type park, Chocolate World. Throngs of chocolate lovers tour factories to witness the creation of this treasure, to sample it, to create their own chocolate bars, and to amuse themselves on chocolate rides. Because we were unabashed Canadian enthusiasts we purchased chocolate wear, or as the bubbly cashier corrected us, "merch." This is why we never leave home without a credit card. Impulse purchases come at a cost. The car's trunk is sagging a bit lower now with all of the loot we've stashed there. So far, our spirits have not sagged, and our sugar levels have not spiked. The euphoria of chocolate sustains us.
         In Savannah, we ooh and aah on another tour fortified by coffee. So, in a stately square we espy the infamous bench where Gump utters his profound words, "Life is like a box of chocolates." Many of the heads on our tour bus seemed to nod in agreement.
         We hit the open road and wandered over to Dallas. We were ever so pleased that this state boasts more than barbecue and cowboys. Yep, we found another chocolate tour. Be still our beating hearts. So many people share our fascination with chocolate. It's so sweet.
         Here, Nancy, Nancy and I discover Mexican chocolate. It's infused with cinnamon, sometimes nutmeg, or chilies. This is an intriguing combination. Chocolate chicken? Chocolate chili? My taste buds tingled.
         During our return drive back home, one of the Nancy-s wondered if we could volunteer as chocolate ambassadors somewhere. I must admit, it is food for thought .We have a taste for it.

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