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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/neilfury/day/11-13-2021
Rated: 18+ · Book · Biographical · #2258138
This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters.
........
November 13, 2021 at 5:51am
November 13, 2021 at 5:51am
#1021516
Recovery continues...today I did my first workout since the 'event', and I felt so good when I was done, I went for a bike ride. I'm just as strong as I was before...I was due for a break after three months of solid training, and so, no physical harm was done.

I have another addiction...Powerade...or the sugar it contains. As a form of restitution, and because I want to stop drinking this poison, I stopped buying it and haven't had any Powerade for a week now. I must admit, I feel pretty good about this decision...another positive that has come from my mistake.

I refuse to cry...at least, not because I took drugs when I know I shouldn't have. I learned more from this mistake than I would have from saying no...the cravings would have continued to niggle at me, but now, the fear of going through another episode, keeps me in check...at least, that's the plan.

I believe everything is meant to be...it was a moment that had to happen in order for me to become more aware of myself and of these doubts that began to close in on my psyche.

I made a mistake, but it was mine to make. I suffered the consequences, and it was all on me. Now, I will reap the benefits of that mistake...learn and grow and next time I am faced with cravings or temptation, I hope I can remember how it felt...such hopelessness and sorrow, where just the previous day, I had felt so much strength and confidence.

I survived, and that's all that matters. I refuse to wallow in my failures...rather, I will channel them towards a greater future...my future.

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/neilfury/day/11-13-2021