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 |  This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
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| Nada and I have been walking every day for three months. Before we met, I trained three times a week at my local gym, but since then, I allowed my gym membership to lapse. Spending time with Nada became my priority, but I've now decided to return to resistance training. There is a well-equipped gym a short walk from where we live but before I join, I want to get myself in better shape. We have a store room outside our house where I keep my prepper supplies, tools etc. It has fly screens to keep the mosquitoes at bay. It's amazing how good a workout can be achieved with minimal equipment. I have a mat (on which I lay a towel for groundwork) where I do crunches, planks and push-ups. The bottles of water I store in case of an emergency are 1.5 litres each and come in packs of six. I estimate each pack to weigh around 9kg. I do several different lifts, including alternate single-arm curls and shoulder exercises. I have a chair that I use for tricep dips. The heaviest exercises I do are single-arm rows for my upper back. I place a knee on the chair and use a 9kg (that weighs a total of 20kg) gas bottle for weight. I do three sets of twenty reps for each exercise. I've only been doing the routine for a couple of weeks, but already, the results are beginning to show. I feel more vitalised and confident and will continue to train every second day for another month before looking into joining the gym. Nada is about to get her period and it's putting a strain on our relationship. I'm trying to be sympathetic, but because of my previous bad experiences with other partners and their menstrual cycles, it's becoming a problem for me. It isn't like she becomes aggressive like my former partner. When premenstrual, Nada becomes emotional and clingy. Her voice is 'whiny' and I'm just too old to cater to it all. I know it's only for a few days a month, and perhaps I'm not being patient, but this morning, instead of stewing on the issue, I sat her down and tried to explain that she needs to 'deal' with it a little better than she is. If we both spoke the same language, explaining how I feel would be much easier. But, the fact that we only understand about half of what is being said (unless speaking about basic things) makes it impossible to perfectly explain ourselves. I told her I have pain in my knee every day, and it wouldn't be fair if I took it out on her. It wasn't the perfect analogy, but it was the best I could come up with under the circumstances. Of late, there has been talk (mainly from Nada) of marriage and purchasing a house. But considering what has transpired over the last few days (and her last few periods), has made me realise we are a long way off any of that. No matter how much I believe in Nada and her integrity, I need to be careful when committing my money, especially considering Thai law that prevents me from owning land. Rent may be cheap in Thailand, but divorce is expensive (both financially and emotionally) no matter where in the world we live. |
| 2025 isn't shaping up to be a good year. I'm not going to blame anyone specifically for making me think that way. There is too much happening for that. But for the first time in my life, I've begun to prepare for the worst. There isn't much that any of us poor people (95% of the eight billion people who inhabit this planet) can do to change the direction/path we are all on. I know it sounds nihilistic/pessimistic, but in my opinion, things have become dire, and I cannot help but think we are on the brink of something catastrophic. There is always hope. But hope alone will not save the human race. There will, if things tip over the edge, be survivors...and perhaps that is the plan. A reset for a species that couldn't (or wouldn't) see where it was headed. There was a song back in the 90s called, Deep Forest (by Deep Forest). The intro is a man's voice, that says, "Deep in the forest are living some little men and women. They are our past, and maybe...maybe they are our future." Prophetic words given the situation we all now face. I wonder (if things go bad) if the bottles of water, the extra gas bottles and a room full of dried and canned foods will be enough to sustain Nada and me. Probably not. I, unlike those who will decide if nuclear annihilation is better than losing a war, or the billionaires who have private bunkers in the hope that they and their families will live on, won't stand a chance. But still, having some hope is better than having none. And planning for a few months of extra days might be worth the effort. I truly hope I am wrong about the future of humanity. That those in power can avert a war, that will be the last fought with weapons of mass destruction...not to mention climate change. Anyway...enough gloom and doom for one post. I'm happy, and even if today turns out to be my last day, I am glad I lived the life I did. Regrets there are plenty, but I don't plan on adding any more to the tally until I am done. |
| I am fascinated by the UAP phenomenon. Because of this, the YouTube algorithm has been pointing me into some dark corners of late. Drones and orbs, some of which appear to be spraying something into the air, are dominating my feed. There have been calls by some channels that these are the 'end of days', as prophesized in the bible. I must admit that there are some worrying signs, especially in the US and the UK, and if this is an attack on humanity, it would make sense to go after the big dogs first. There are reports of heavy fog in many places that may be responsible for negative symptoms being experienced by some. And given there is video evidence of UAPs appearing to be jettisoning substances of some kind, it shouldn't come as a surprise that some people, myself included, are becoming concerned. I don't know who is responsible for flying these UAP/drones that have been seen all around the globe. It is, however, relatively easy to tell the drones from these otherworldly, physics-defying craft/entities, that have become more prevalent in the last month than ever before. Perhaps the number of people who carry phones with them everywhere they go plays a part in the recent spate of videos showing up online. AI is also playing a role in producing images that make it difficult to distinguish fake from real videos. I've been giving this a lot of thought, and have concluded that if this is the end-of-days, and armageddon is upon us, there isn't much I can do to avert it. I've tried my hardest to believe in a higher power, but I struggle to commit. I am doing my best every day to do good and help those less fortunate than myself. But, other than that, I have decided to live every day to its fullest...and that in itself is making life so much more enjoyable. Yesterday afternoon, Nada and I were on our walk when we met a Thai lady who was rounding up cows that had broken loose from their tethers. She was about my age, and was wearing the quintessential Thai uniform...long black tights, a green long-sleeve shirt, rubber boots, a white broad-brimmed hat and a scarf to keep the sun off her neck. As we passed, Nada and I both said hello (in Thai). We spent the next thirty minutes talking with this absolutely beautiful lady. She owns four cows and tends to them on her own. She has no husband to help her with the chores, and as we stood, I was holding Nada's hand. That's when I noticed that the lady was holding Nada's other hand. The feeling this gave me is hard to describe, but I felt at peace with the world and no matter what comes, I know I am ready to face it. Today, we went shopping. I bought an electric razor and a set of hair clippers so Nada can cut my hair. And later, when we got back from our walk, we went to the markets. An old couple has a stall that Nada always goes to. She was buying a few things from them, and as Nada and the old lady spoke, my girlfriend turned to me with a huge smile. Nada then told me that the lady thinks I am handsome. Of course, I've been smiling ever since. Despite these recent worrying events, the past two days have been almost magical. I haven't shared much about my concerns with Nada as there is no point. Each day that passes, we fall deeper in love, and if this is the end, I'm glad that I will be spending time with Nada. If I am overreacting, then nothing much changes that fact. |
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