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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/peterson4279/day/9-1-2021
Rated: E · Book · Emotional · #2093535
One man's journey to find the way home
          I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from.
          After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
          I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
          Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
September 1, 2021 at 3:04am
September 1, 2021 at 3:04am
The greatest gift someone gave was reviving my account. I currently going thru a scary difficult time and writing is good therapy for me.
Two days ago my wife was having tremors' and had difficulty standing and asked me to call an ambulance. From there it has a difficult humbling journey. I know suffering in ways I never did.
We were in Er from about 1pm to 11pm, they did testing and told us we were good to go. We got home and two hours later my wife is shaking violently waking me up. She is drooling out of right side of mouth unresponsive. I call the ambulance and the dispatcher keeps me on phone till they arrive.
My wife left me and then started coming back to life. She woke up not remembering anything except entering ambulance.
We go to Er. She asks for coffee. She has not drank anything in a couple days. Soon after she falls asleep only to start having tremors, convulsions, difficulty breathing, blood out of side of her mouth from biting her tongue. On top of that she wet herself. She has been confused and more asleep than awake since then. It is painful and yes I suffer and yet not alone. Some part of me wants the suffering, another part no. It is like being in labor wondering what good can be redeemed from this.

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/peterson4279/day/9-1-2021