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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/peterson4279/month/10-1-2021
Rated: E · Book · Emotional · #2093535
One man's journey to find the way home
          I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from.
          After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
          I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
          Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
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October 29, 2021 at 9:48am
October 29, 2021 at 9:48am
Retirement is a process. It does not just happen that one wakes up retired. So I grouse at work. It is a painful place where adults have to be in control. There have to be rules. My world works in reverse.

I know I won't be missed. I fight my internal battles convinced the person is more important than the rule. How does it work and how long does it last?
October 26, 2021 at 2:55am
October 26, 2021 at 2:55am
Retirement less than 70 days away. The angst of it all. Where does it all lead. It helped to talk to sis. I am realizing it will be no easy task. And the bills. They mount. I pray I put it in perspective. The rest of the year will have struggles.
October 24, 2021 at 6:58am
October 24, 2021 at 6:58am
Closer to being done. Less than 70 days. It still seems like an eternity. There is so much that needs to be done. God give me strength!
October 20, 2021 at 5:28am
October 20, 2021 at 5:28am
So now what? I have done my best to explore. I am left determining what it all means. It hinges on a female and perception. May God have the first and last word
October 15, 2021 at 10:57am
October 15, 2021 at 10:57am
A total question mark. I get the feeling by the of the day I will know or know something. I am tired of working, I know that
October 14, 2021 at 3:56am
October 14, 2021 at 3:56am
Disillusionment is the word that comes to mind. How do I unscramble my brain. It is no easy feat. And do I truly need to explain myself to what profit. It is crazy thinking at best. So God by your Spirit help me to make order out of chaos.
Help me to rediscover deep and fulfilling rest. In Gods time.
October 11, 2021 at 7:01am
October 11, 2021 at 7:01am
Time for rest, I have been working too much. Give me strength God to feel peace in the midst of the storm. Be with me God.
October 9, 2021 at 5:43am
October 9, 2021 at 5:43am
I was faced with two overnight that seemed to last an eternity. Yes I did survive. Yet I paid a price I have 84 days to go. Will I make it? Only God knows. Maybe a better focus is considering all the day I made before only by God's hand. So we will see. God give me strength either way.
October 6, 2021 at 6:35am
October 6, 2021 at 6:35am
By the time I get this blog finished. Beginning to realize life is past full.
October 5, 2021 at 8:19am
October 5, 2021 at 8:19am
As I look back peace is an elusive star that creeps out of the darkness of the soul. My back feels okay again go figure and still I wonder about where the mystery of peace will be found again. I pray I will be ready to receive it and share it with others

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