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One man's journey to find the way home |
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Created: August 15th, 2016 at 3:49pm
Modified: October 24th, 2023 at 1:13pm
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I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from.
After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
WELCOME!!
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October 8, 2022 at 7:00am
October 8, 2022 at 7:00am
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| I am fooling myself if I think I can maintain this pace. I work over forty hours and keep edmy miles in tried digits. I am very very or a tired. An evquestioen bigger n is how much longer can my relationship weather the storm. Like it or not I am being set up for a couple days of not running or walking much if I want to stay well. |
October 6, 2022 at 9:18pm
October 6, 2022 at 9:18pm
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| Oops I lost my writing due to forgetting to log in. It is always something. God take mee by the hand and lead me to the place I can best serve you |
October 6, 2022 at 2:37am
October 6, 2022 at 2:37am
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| Primed ready to go for the next round wherever it will take me. Part of me feels confused. I came to a place, Erie and I had this plan and it involved the church I was in and it was all about a happy ending, making friends and regaining my voice. After all I was singing out in praise, even asked to sing in a cantata. I even preached and hoped they might get to know me by my preaching. That was where I made my mistake. It was about exposing God, let them see Jesus and everything will take care of itself. Yet God always has a better plan that I never anticipated. And so I am at peace in my diminished role of a DSP, working with intellectually disabled adults. I sit at the table and enjoy the food and company. God was there all the time and God is indeed on his throne. I have made friends and I have seen how God in Christ can work in and through me. Nothing else matters. I may never preach another sermon, but God is Teaching me that the greatest sermon delivered is the one that need not be spoken. It is knowing God is ruling and in control leading me day by day. I am learning the gift of hearing God's own sermon on and in my heart, nothing else even matters. To God be the glory. |
October 5, 2022 at 7:42pm
October 5, 2022 at 7:42pm
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| Living the dream what do I have to show for all my effort? I enjoy what I do and that will have to be enough. I have to ask in this barren place, does anything anyone says really matter.? Nobody knows me and in truth people are too busy surviving to care so I will embrace who I am and trust that God is the only memory that lasts and if God remembers that I cared for a wife, a church and numerous friends and.famuly that's all that matters. God put me here for a reason God will take me home. God is love. |
October 4, 2022 at 7:29am
October 4, 2022 at 7:29am
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| Leading is kind of like psalm 23. It begins with a vision. The first says like it or not we need to find ways to get along. Then from there we let go and let God, because frankly at some point it is not up to me anymore. I turn it over to God and watch and trust believing God is in it. Helping the part of me that does not believe to the point of knowing God is love. And last of all celebrate how God finds people in church. It is God seeking people thru us who want to feed the hunger that hope comes alive. Indeed Christ is risen from the dead |
October 2, 2022 at 2:31am
October 2, 2022 at 2:31am
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| More work. Tough job keeping up with one of the residents. He is unable to sleep, which means I can not sleep and need to be on alert. Tonight he is eating cookies and drinking chocolate milk as if they will run out if he does not eat them. Along with that all the bananas are gone. On days like today I would rather not work. I am halfway and exhausted |
October 1, 2022 at 6:23am
October 1, 2022 at 6:23am
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| It is remembering from my wife's point of view. To embrace what is there rather than regrets about what no longer can be remembered. It is about what is fully in the present with her. She is glad to be in her place, her car, with her pets which are aging and with a companion presence. She does not seem to cherish independence as much as dependence on knowing that she can always be with what matters most to her. |
September 30, 2022 at 11:04am
September 30, 2022 at 11:04am
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| How does my life become like the bread of life he not only died for me but rose again. Enjoying reading God's Word!! |
September 29, 2022 at 8:08am
September 29, 2022 at 8:08am
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| Hitting Rick bottom.is no fun. I am discovering that recovery of a sense of self is the only way out. It is a self that looks in the mirror dimly. That is where it all begins. The self is seen first as a fog and in the course of seeing the image vaguely the possibility of seeing Jesus Christ clearly remains as I recapture for myself and others how this happens. |
September 28, 2022 at 2:11pm
September 28, 2022 at 2:11pm
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| I can not do a thing right and feel fat in a hopeless way. I keep exercising and not losing weight. I can not get the temperature right. Sharon and I are bumping heads. I am not sure what to redeem out of the day. It does not help that I am in retirement mode and can not get out of my own way. The ymca seems to be an option. Anything is better than sitting ony ass and doing nothing. |
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