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 |  Daily Doings |
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This begins on April 11, 2005. I have no idea what is going to happen. Today is June 28, and I still don't know what is happening here. It's a combination of personal and not-so-personal. Some say I just put it all out there. Others comment that it is LOL. Read and hopefully enjoy! Thanks to Writerchic for the Awardicon on WDC's 5th Birthday. |
| I've taken two rounds of antibiotics, quit smoking (that was before they gave me the antibiotics), and so I feel I am probably ready to fight that asian bird flu and get a TKO in one round. What has been going on? I slept and slept and slept. One test tomorrow and then hopefully I am finished with this. I think I can write horror stories now, especially about hospitals and huge janitorial men lurking in otherwise unnoticed corners. Or was that skyisfalling02's blog? I am just all mixed up. Has the bottom fallen out of the housing market yet? Is Bush still president? I know someone who drove from New Haven, CT to New York City and he had the classical music station on in New Haven and Kenny was President. He got out of his car in New York City just as they were saying "President Johnson...." He said it was the oddest feeling he has ever felt. I cannot get back into my book. It's odd -- I worked like mad on the first six chapters, then all of a sudden I lost interest in it, and started doing other things. Some desk-drawer poems (that's where they should stay - in the desk drawer), tried to get a couple of stories under 500 words, and couldn't do that, so I went to sleep. Maybe I should wait until I get more better (!) or I could start another book. Decisions always get me...I'm a true Libra. All of a sudden, up from my afternoon nap, I feel raring to go!It's all those wonderful prayers you are all sending up for me. They's working. Just a couple more days if you don't mind. Is the world getting more dangerous or am I just getting old? The people in their late teens - early 20's don't think it's particularly dangerous. I'll see you tomorrow when things are better with my health and I feel caught-up. Ciao  |
| It's overcast and gray. but that means that the neighborhood will be quieter ( no lawm mowers, no people trying to get their boats hooked up tp their cars only to unhook them at the landing site, and power boat around hitting manatees, and anything else that night come along. I am still sick but on a scale of 1 to 10, yesterday I was a 9 and now I'd about a low 7. Thanks all of your for your well wishes. I am sure all that good energy and beauiful cNote adds to my fine rehabilitation. L.K.Hunsaker (whose name I think is Edie?) sent me a merit badge for not smoking. Today is day 27 - 3 weesk- so she was right on target. She said "they" say it takes two or three weeks to end a habit and today is three! I love that Merit Badge. I want to cut it out of my computer and wear it. I read something somewhere yesterday about not using exclamation points. Did anyone else read this? The point was that using an exclamation point was like screaming at someone. Do you think that's true or should I start a poll? I always thought All CAPITAL LETTERS was like screaming at someone. I do think the exclamation is overused, however. Maybe this is worth a poll. Or maybe I will find the article again. My rent just went up $30. It's outrageous. Further incentive to move. How can they do this to an ailing poet? I'm too angry to yell, too weak to holler, and too defeated to write a letter to the owner. But, you know what -- I did not pick up a cigarette! See what a little support can do. I want to put my arms around the entire WDC family and hug and hug and hug. This site is really just amazing. I have learned so much and just hope and pray I will be able to continue to learn and to give something back -- anything that I can possibly do to help anyone. WDC definitely is my home! Few if any sites can measure up? Does anybody know or recommend a second site? I am now going back to my bed, since I can breathe pretty well, and read. The second most important thing a writer can do is read. The first, of course, is write. But I'm now so filled with antibiotics that I don't think pheumonia can get in, and I think that is what the doctor was guarding against. Be well |
| Yesterday morning I'm sitting here calmly composing, and the phone rings. It's my doctor's office and he wants to me right away. "Is he putting me in is hospital" was the first thing that came out of my mouth." "No, I don't think so." "I said, Well, I'll come right over but I don't want to have to sit and wait for an hour to see him." "If you come right now, you won't have to." A woman of her word, I walked in the front door of the office and and at her bidding walked right into his office. To sum it up I have Acute Anemia ( which I've since 1985), a very low white blood count which has me wailing around with almost no immune system, I test nergative for AIDS, and I saw two doctors stand there and look at each other and thry might have said,"I don't know what's wrote with her do you?." He did give me some kick-ass cough syrup though. Makes Nyquil look like the crap it is, I feel no better than yesterday. Sore throat, no fever, great blood pressure, sweat,Blood and Tears. Only it was Blood Sweat and Tears. Now the guy brings ne Nu-Iron, Pharmacy said the Doctor called it in this morning for noon delivery. Baby steps. One at a time. Iesterday I wasted three hours trying to get a new cordless hooked up. I knew it had to just one little thing and I could not find it. I went to get my friend, Lois, who comes in, looks at it, and says to "well, look at it!" I said I have been looking at it for 3 GD hours!" She holds up the end that gets plugged ito the telephone jaCk. (I'm really glad I didn;t call Bell South (it's a Bell South Phone.) Did I ever feel like the biggest jerk in the world. I'm losing it guys, not too slowly either. I think I'll just sign in as "Gone." Remember, I was going to do the things on my to do list? Well that list has undergone times ravages like coffee, notes, and thingS, so given the way I feel I'd getter make another one. New bigs coming in with the new season. Lots of Ladybugs lately in their red outfits with the stripe on the, Frogs now too, at night, Everyone out in the country has had lot of racoons this year, but the dear are cut back again. Back on the South Beach Diet forever! Yep. Doc told to never eat a carbohydrate again! In no uncertain terms. (He likes to entertain me...) Okay. There's my afternoon. I don't really remember what the South Beachb Diet is, and make another to-do list. I think I lost a contest that closed recently. Gotta check on that too! Ciao |
| Oh how wonderful sleep can be. It restoreth the body. Especially with kick-ass antibiotics in me. It's just sowonderful to feel soooooo much better! Today I'm going to do half of my to-do list! and half tomorrow and then by Monday I'll be caught up. I don't think we are ever going to have sunshine in the Sunshine State again, so I shall proceed accordingly. A major earthquake in Pakistan, now. Mother Earth is really pissed isn't she? Can you blame her? O lord, forgive us. We knew not what we were doing. We thought we were just building buildings and making things work for our comfort. It never occurred to us to take care of our environment. I wonder if BinLaden is in there. Another day begins. Late, but it's beginning. There's not much going on here, but then I just got up and am enjoying feeling good. What's good about not feeling good is getting to feel good again. Then you realize you should be a little grateful for your health. I'm going to work on WDC stuff all weekend, and get caught up in between on my reading. I hope you all have a great day! I'll see you later! Ciao Sara |
It's been raining for days, which I can put up with easy enough, but I finally just felt so ill I drove over to my doctor as quick as I could, and he said I have an Acute Upper Respiratory Infection, and take this stuff...pills, prescriptions, cough syrup, etc., and if it's not better by the first of the week, come back and he'll admit me to the hospital so I don't go into pneumonia. I told him I started getting sick one week after I quit smoking and he said "oh, you people that quit smoking! We're going to lose all our patients." . Yeah, he's a riot all right. I do have to admit that mouth feels very clean although my throat hurts, etc. So that's why I've not been up to my cheerful, hilarious, and serious best. At least I know it's not something psychosomatic.I learned how to manage my blogs. The real key is in scrolling down the page and hitting the "manage this blog" sign. That seems to lock it into place. I am so behing in everything I feel like I'm getting nowhere, but maybe it's true what Gertrude Stein said, when you get there there is no there there. I'm going to crawl, literally probably, into bed and read until I fall asleep. I haven't allowed myself to do this since I started this novel business, and it sounds just delicious. Used to do it a lot. I wish you all a cherry adieu, I may be back tonight. I just don't know. I like not knowing what is going to happen. Do you? Sara |
| Terry had a wonderful time in and around St. Augustine and Jacksonville today. I had to go up North about 20 miles, and there were many times cars were just pulling over to wait until the band of rain would stop a little. The streets of downtown St. Augustine flood very easily (we joke that they flood at high tide), and the main arteries were closed until about 2:00. But now Terry has moved on, in Georgia somewhere, and things have quieted down. Am having trouble adding blogs, or "managing them" as the sign says. I wonder if anyone else has this problem. Nothing much going on around here. Am trying to get myself where I can read for a couple hours at a time. I've too many books backed up to read, and I need to read them all.Instead, I have half-writtem poems and the start of stories under "My Documents". Those files don't defragment out. I've had a sore throat and cough. Don't ache all over so I think it's just a nasty cold, and not the avian flu. God help us if that comes over here. That's all I have to say tonight; I realize it's not much. The rest is silence. Ciao |
| Doesn't that sound ominous, like Shelly or Walt Whitman is going to appear? My blog links aren't working correctly but I guess I'll take that problem to Tech Support. Wrote until late last night. Free writing. It's a good thing to do. I got myself very relaxed by deep breathing, lit a candle and incense for atmosphere, and just let my mind wader until I picked up my pen and then words and words and words just poured forth. I would recommend it to all of you. Than I can go back over it and more or less go between the lines and/or take out the better parts and end up with something, maybe. It sure was a wonderful feeling. I've been yearning to paint some watercolors again: I do it in a way that makes the 40 lb. paper look almost like handmade paper, a technique I learned from a one Kate Mulholland. But I got almost the same feeling doing the free writing. Maybe it's just a matter of letting go of all that inner, pent-up emotion and dispersing it into the balmy night to be carried out to sea. The poor sea. It has seen so much and knows so much and is so polluted now. No wonder it heaves its mighty anger and outrage at various shores. No wonder its large animals beach themselves, and then when they are cut open it is determined that they have empty bottles of chlorox in them, and things even more crude. I'm getting away from myself, which is what sometimes happens. I can just start with one thing and end up with another. But I can stay "on task" as the shrinks say when I have to. Before I was "stabilized" I could not stay "on task". I was "ping-ponging". Where do they get these terms? It's an entire psychological language of its own. Like legalese. I did this(going from one subject to another with no apparent connection to the reader) in one of my recent poems, as many reviewers pointed out to me, and that's getting serious. I have decided to practice discipline. Can't have bad poetry out there. There's plenty of it around and I hope I'm not adding too much to it already. Autumn is not quite in the Florida air yet, but it will be in a few weeks. It's chilly by the first of November and I look forward to that. I have a screened-in porch and an asparagus fern -- those very light ones that are supposedly hard to grow. Well, this one has grown up my screen, its little tendrils going through the tiny spaces of the screen itself. I've never seen that happen before. In a year or two the entire screen will be covered. I don't know if that is good or bad, but I know I don't have the heart to pull the fern down. Someone asked me this morning "Who would you want to write like?" I frowned and then said, "Myself." And the other shook his head. (An insignificant other, I might add.) After a while I decided that rather than wanting to sound like Emily Dickenson or Adrienne Rich, or Ann Carson, I want to sound like myself, but I can't ever quite get the poem good enough to suit me. Sometimes poems just come -- they are channeled through me or something -- and other times I work and work and work a poem over and it still doesn't sound right. Maybe that's lack of talent. Maybe its asking too much of myself. I don't know, but I know I don't want to sound like anybody else, not even the poets I knew in the Village. I'm not looking for praise here, I'm just looking for me to write better poems. Does that come with practice? I think it comes with reading and reading and writing and writing. That's what I'm telling myself now at least. Anyone have any better ideas? Ciao |
| I make it through another 24 hours without smoking and now. I'm beginning to not sleep as much. Can't say the desire for a cigarette isn't there, but the craving, yearning, etc.is gone, or subsided. Thanks to all of you for your encouragement! Today has been oh so pleasant and nice, and although it's only about 3:00 in the afternoon I think it's going to stay that way. If I can keep my temper under control. I feel like a walking cartoon of someone who is trying to quit smoking. There's beauty in the air, the sky, the great blue ocean just East of me; at least that's what I see today. It's always there but there are days my my insane wondrous mind will not let me see it. Those are the day when I see plastic pumpkins all over town. Not much to say. Things are smooth, good, music playing in the background, an living is easy like it's supposed to be in ye olde Southland. Hope today's good for you too Ciao Sara |
| We're approaching Halloween, which I've loved since I can remember. When I got too old to trick or treat, I started making costumes, and had delightful fun times. I don't know what I'll do this year -- maybe practice ghost stories if I can get some of our horror experts to help me -- Dark Starr* are you there? Meanwhile, from not smoking for two weeks I have turned into a babbling, eating machine that also reads and sometimes writes. I've gained at least ten pounds. Oh, vanity, thy name is woman! Is that how the quote goes? There are pumpkins everywhere in St. Augustine, Florida. Can you imagine pumpkins and palm trees. While so many others are simply grateful to have a home (I know I am) and others grateful that they still have their land. Katrina and Rita are gone, and may be have no more, Lord, at least not this season. I'm reading two wonderful books and am too stressed to read them (and I have Valium, but if I take it I fall asleep). One is Fortune's Rocks by Anita Shreve. My daughter sent it to me. It takes place on the coast in New Hampshire & Maine. The other one is Snow by the Turkish poet and writer I already mentioned. There are so many things I could be doing if I were not so caught up in this not smoking business. See, the worse psrt about it is that I don't really believe the statistics are as one-sided as the doctors say they are, but my main inspiration for quitting is that the cigatette of my choice is $4.23 per pack, so I only smoke 2 packs a week, but that's $10 which is $40 a month. If I don't watch out I'll spend more than that in food, and then have to join a gym, etc., and it will end up costing more in the long run. I quit for 2 years when I was carrying and had my son, and for 3 years a while ago. I felt no better. I smoked when I carried my daughter and she is really healthier than he is. But, anyway, I've come this far. The worse is over, right? Thank you all for your support! I need it, and it's good to know you are there. I have high hopes for this weekend. Want to do some work for the Ultimate Writers Workshop, Write a poem from a picture prompt (the only person I know who did this really well is Rilke, with the Duino Elegies . He used Picasso's three clowns or acrobats as inspiration. He did a hellova job! I expect this month will bring a lot of surprises. Halloween usually does. This is a tourist town to the nth degree and any old holiday it can find to celebrate it will deck the halls and streetlights. Ciao for now |
| Today is day 11 or 12, I'm not sure which, and it is easier to not smoke but I am so tired. The least little thing and I have to go to sleep for 4 hours. I think it's really awful, but I guess it's the best thing to do. I have to admit I'm coughing about a third of what I was. What a misterable life. Grrrrrr. Meanwhile, back in the world, what's going on. I think both Ramadan and Rosh Hashannah begin next week, and I overhear talk of Advent, and then there's Halloween of course, followed by All Saints Day. I don't know if Daylight Savings Time will end or not, or if Bush extended it to the end of November. I guess we'll know when we see. It's been nice weather even here. It's cooled to the 80s during the day and the mid-70's at night. We still have the humidity, but these are the balmy nights that this place is so famous for, and when you are out and the sky is just turning into grey and pink and purple and light blue, and white and then darkens slowly until you can see only tree tops and the wind blows, it seems worth it. Those people returning to their homes in New Orleans make everything else look grand. My heart aches for them. Which makes me want to write poems about Katrina. Can you imagine how many dolorous poems have been written about the history of the Ninth Ward (is that what it's called) and the two hurricanes that hit in '05? The Mayor seems to think he's going to get it all put back together. I've been reading for twenty minutes or so before I fall asleep and it's so pleasant. I've tried to read things on WDC too that I've not covered before and meant to. It feels so good to enter another world, and to do something worthwhile. To see construction and not destruction. To know there is Love, and not always Hatred and Fury. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Ciao |
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