*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/alenemitchell
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Slippery Ice  
Review by Alene Mitchell
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed this story a lot. But it does take a little while to get up to speed. I am wondering if the chores could be skipped! After all, you have a snow day off school and would be anxious to get out snowboarding as quickly as possible. Perhaps Colin could persuade Lara to leave the chores undone:)

Your description of Lara's crash is excellent. I felt it!

I am not the best writer with grammar and punctuation, so I will make no comments there. However, your use of the word "alright" does jump out at me towards the end. I believe it is still more acceptable to go with "all right".

Nice work!
Alene
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/alenemitchell