Now you got me with this..I don't even read horror/suspense at all. I'm a hopeless romantic. My favorite movie is the Notebook. I say that to say that this really got my attention. At first I thought maybe the police officer was going to attack her or something. Your plot twist was brilliant. You make me want to read the rest of this story. This feels like a piece out of a story that you are writing. This should be continued. You got me very curious. Now what?
Awwww...I thought at the end she was going to stay...I thought they would weather the storms. This was well written. When i was scrolling down and saw your header that "she had a choice" I immediately wanted to read it. I'm not very good at writing poetry but i love to read it. You got my attention from the beginning to the end.
Now this is my kind of story. I love a happy ending. I like the way you switch the gender roles dictated by society. Having the husband home cooking when the wife comes home from work was very well written. I like the way the dynamics played out. I'm a true believer in opposites attracting. This is just more proof..Job well done.
Reading this was really overwhelming but in a good way. It brought back memories of losing my Mother. I love the tone of the words. I'm not sure if this is fiction or not but it feels so real. I believe the story. I believe his unresolved feeling about not saying I love You to his father when he had the chance before he died. I felt that pain. Job well done.
This is a very interesting story. I like how you the youthful young women taking their much older Aunt too the club. The dichotomy makes it very entertaining to me. There are some grammatical errors that need to be fixed, but overall i love it. The ending to this first chapter makes me want to turn the page and read chapter 2. I look forward to reading more of this story.
Very nice. I love the flow of the conversation between them. This was a very interesting story tkeo read. This seems like it could be part of a longer story. It leaves you wanting to know about them. I like that about your story. I also like the fact there isn't details about their race or age or anything like that. It felt like I was sitting next to them, over hearing a conversation. Keep up the good work. I only put four and a half stars because nothing is ever perfect...I can't wait to read more.
Beautiful...I decided to read this from the caption you wrote. It feels like what you have written was written just for me. I battle with bipolar depression and my feelings overwhelm me sometimes. It felt like you wrote what I was thinking. I relate almost too much to what you have written. There have been have so many times when I am in a crowded room or around my family and feel totally alone. Please continue to write to express your feelings and release them to the universe. I'm in therapy and that was the first thing i was told. Keep a journal. Thank you for expressing this..
Bravo...Bravo...Bravo...Very well written. I must admit that when i first read it, i thought it was a white woman with an ethnic man. You got me with that twist. That was definitely a refreshing surprise. I could feel where you were coming from ...Love is complicated no matter the color of one's skin. keep up the good work.
First, i must say that i am a novice myself, so please don't get offended with my honest opinion. I think this was very well written. The story got me from the beginning. Then when Sandra told Sam she would let her Dad kill her i was riveted. You write very well. The only thing that kinda bothered me was that it moved so fast from her being adopted to the death of her adopted parents. It felt kinda rushed. Other than that, I can't wait to read the rest of this story. Keep of the great work.I enjoyed reading your Prologue.
Beautiful!! Very well written...Although i'm not very good at writing poetry, I love to read and speak it..To me, it's perfect as it is. If i was going to add anything, i would say maybe making a reference to their faith or belief in God (or whatever faith they are)..Other than, i love it the way it is.
Your story took my breath away. There were times while reading that i had to stop because it felt like you were talking about my Grandmother. She passed away January 24, 2010, a week before my birthday. To have known someone like her i am forever grateful. You have captured emotions in your writing that are so profound through the simplicity of simple words. I can feel the influence she had on your life. Your writing made me missed my Grandmother as well. Bravo to you...
Very well written...You got me with the ending. As i was reading it, the imagery you used got me really curious about what was going to happen as i read the story. Very good. The way you turn it from the imaginary to the reality of the Jessica being sick was very well written. Keep up the good work. You should think about expanding this story for a possible novel..just a thought.
Bravo! I really like this poem. You expressed your feelings very well. I've been here before and I can definitely relate. Have you thought about turning this into a short story? I can totally see this relationship. Good luck on your future writings.
Overall, I think it was very well written..I'm not a very good judge of poetry and i wanted to review something different. I'm glad i did. This poem is very intense for me. I had to reread some lines to ensure i understood (just like i had to in high school). I enjoyed your writing. There are a few grammatical errors (fyi) but overall, to me, it was very good.
Very interesting. The characters are well rounded and captured my attention. I don't usually read in this genre and I'm pleasantly surprised at my choice. Now i want to know what is going to happen next. I like your imagery and the drama that you can feel is going on between Angel and the Chancellor. It makes for a very good read. Keep it up. Where is chapter 2? I'm waiting....
Very well written. I didn't realize you were talking about your pet family until the end. I made the assumption that when you stated you were writing a letter to your children it was your "human" children. As a person that loves pets from afar, I can truly appreciate the love and respect people have for their pets. My sister had a dog for 13 years (named China) until she died. She cried like a baby. I felt her loss. I feel your love for your pets.
Bravo!! This story is very interesting. I want to read the story. Is Nao pregnant? What is going on? Why is she so late all the time? Your story is very well written. These are just some of the questions that i was thinking about as I was reading this story. I am really curious about Nao. I can't for you to start posting some chapters!!!
This is just what i need to read. I decided to review at least one writing item a week that is not in my normal genre of choice. I choice inspirational and you were the first to come up. I must say that this was meant for me to read. I'm so glad that i did. Everything you said is so true and it affected me. It made me look at myself. Thank you for taking the time out to shine a little light on happiness. Happiness pure and simple, irregardless of money or status. This has been an eye opener for me. Thank you.
I can't even think of enough words to express how this story affected me. Your use of words and imagery had me walking with her. I could feel the emotions she was experiencing at each new discovery. I really loved this story. I like your style of writing. It's very descriptive and easily captures the reader's attention. You have the love of books to life. Very, very well written.
Omg!!!! Bravo!!! This story totally caught me off guard. The way the story changed from a love story to a tragedy to a love story again was amazing. I wasn't expecting either one of them to have AIDS. This story should be posted on website and everywhere that has anything to do with AIDS/HIV awareness. This story very expertly tells the story of how people run on emotions that can end in sorrow. This is the best story i have read on Writing.com so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kudos!!!!! I wish i could give it more than just 5 stars!!!!!
Love!!! Love!!! Love!!!! I really kinda like this story. lol. I like how strong a man that Alex is. He was able to see past any issue he may have with her calling him Steve, to be there for her in her time of need. Very good short story....Why not make it a novel. Just a thought. Just from this short story, it feels like they have a big life together.
I think this is a very good story. It's very well written. The only criticism i might have is that the story seem to move too fast. It felt like it was skipping some things. I'm not really sure how to explain what i'm saying because i'm actually a novice myself. Other than that, I would love to read more about Mark (i mean Mike) lol and Jessica.
Wow!! Very well written. The way you capture the reader with describing what she is thinking and seeking was impressive. I really enjoyed reading this story. It made me think of my own life and development from childhood to now and how close i have been to the sun.
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