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13 Public Reviews Given
13 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Siren's Call  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Really good! I liked how you made it feel as if just seeing the dolphins brought you into another world, completely different from what we are accustomed to. Such a short poem, yet it held a lot of meaning.

There were some odd meters in there though. It could have flowed a bit better if those were fixed.
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2
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the idea and rhyme scheme of this, but it has a weird beat going on. It doesn't flow all that well.
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Review of Painted Green  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really like this. Vibrant, romantic, fantastical. Its beautiful while still holding in the "witch and warlock" themes, which I laud you for being able to do.

One thing that didn't click, although it is very minor and can probably even be discounted, is when you said "a warm fuzzy over my cheek." It doesn't sound bad, which is why it can probably be discounted, but the word "fuzzy" here is used improperly. Fuzzy is an adjective, but here you used it as a noun. Again, it doesn't look bad.

Good job!
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Review of The Wooden Sphere  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really like your use of detail in this. It is really good.

I did find a couple of minor mistakes.

This first one isn't really a mistake, but it is something I think would be better written a different way.
You wrote: "I saw and felt this, and at the same time I didn’t, the way a deeply preoccupied man might see and obey traffic signals without really noticing them."
My suggestion: "I saw and felt this, and at the same time I didn’t; the way a deeply preoccupied man might see and obey traffic signals without really noticing them."
Again, I might be wrong on this, and if I am, you can ignore me.

Overall this is an excellent, well-done story. I really liked it, and how vivid the images were that it brought to my mind.
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Review of Not Alone?  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a really cool poem. I like everything about this poem; the shape, the rhythm, everything.

Except...if I am counting correct, your second 10 syllable line is only 9 syllables. That might just be my bad math skills though.
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Review of Home  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very decent poem. It has a good rhythm to it. I'm not too fond of the third verse. Something about the last line seems a bit off, although I can't quite tell what. It just doesn't flow as smoothly as the others.

Other then that, it was a really enjoyable poem that strongly captured the essence I believe you were trying to set forth.
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