"The pages are filled along the way
With words and the thoughts our soul has to say."
i love this part...alot. i think it really explains alot and its true too. i really like this poem. i agree with it. the second line though, is a bit confusing, but since when is poetry easy to interpret. i think you did a really good job on it.
yeah me too. but you cant not need people. i know you may feel that way, but you need someone, even if they hurt u. you'll never know love if you never know hurt
except for a couple spelling mistakes (its alibi, and dying) , i think this poem is amazing. its some thing i can relate to
I built up this wall
Built it up to watch it fall
You are my alliby
i love this part like crazy.
i like this alot. i think its a really really great description of who you are. its awesome. i have no helpful feedback about improvement cuz i think you got this down
i think this is good, but as i read through the poem, it kinda seems like you're trying to hard to rhyme. The first part:
Don't cry no more Baby,
Put your head on my shoulder,
The truth is in the eyes of the beholder.
is my favorite. this just blows me away. but ... actually i like it all, except the second part. i think the second part is a bit cliche, and its trying to rhyme but it just makes the poem seem to drag. overall though, its really good. i hope you take my feedback! Keep writing, you're really good
i really like this poem. i dont really have any feedback for you to improve on (i rated u a 5...it doesnt get better than a five, therefore i dont see anything you can improve on) but i was wondering if this might allude to a person's life. is it literally talkin about a mouse or yeah. because i can really relate to it, and relating to a mice is a bit...awkward. thats why i asked :)
this is really good. it really...just wow. yeah. so i thought it was really great, but it'd be nice to know, or at least get a couple more hints about what is going on with these two, and how they really ended up together in the first place. i think it'd be even better if you could answer a few of a reader's questions that the suspense creates, without taking away any suspense. does that make sense?? over all its really good though.
I really love this. It reflects what i feel and whats going on in my life. I really like the way you expressed it.The beginning part where fire is waiting for air but only gets a bit of it, not enough of it is really moving in somehow. Its really good, but i think you should add a bit more to the ending, you know?
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