Thanks for your email. This looks like a great contest for Civil War enthusiasts. I look forward to reading the entries. I hope everything goes well and you get lots of quality entries. Here are a few points to help you keep it going.
I see you entered this in the creative non-fiction contest. I think you may have made a sytax error by putting a space after your item number. As a result there is no link to the story.
Just in case you risk a technical disqualification, you might want to go back to your posting and check it.
I seem to have an abundance of idle Gift Points. They could be better used in your cause than sitting in my bin. Love the contest and seeing all the talent at play. Keep up the good work, and thanks for your ongoing efforts.
Nice to see you keep this contest going. I haven't contributed a story yet, but do enjoy reading the submissions. Here are some gift points to help you with your prizes. Hope to see this going for a long time to come. Well done!! I'm sure everyone appreciates your efforts.
Cute story. I hope you are building an inventory of these personal accounts. I started doing that a few years ago and now have hundreds of them. Good keepsake for the kids and grand kids. Keep posting them and you will get lots of people reading them. Good luck with your writing.
I'm sure we have communicated in the past. I have read some of your materials on here and I think I will pick up your latest publication on Smashwords.
I am considering using Smashwords to publish some of my shorter materials, and even some of my longer pieces.
If you have any opinions or advice about Smashwords, I would love to hear it.
I see this is an old post. I was wondering, now that a couple years have passed, what your experience has been with Smashwords.
I have been downloading free books for a couple months and have read their style guide. I am considering publishing some material there, but am looking for some opinions of those who have used it.
Great story - filled with wonderful (but dark) descriptions.
As I walked into the cold, metal holding cell, my shoes reverberated as they connected with the floor. A coarse voice emanated from the corner of the room. A mixture of passion and madness echoed in the voice, sending a cold shiver down my spine.
This is a powerful introduction with great use of strong verbs.
The rest of the story flows just as well.
This looks like it could be part of a longer piece, but it stands on its own very well.
Congratulations on another win. 200 stories - wow. And most of them winners. That becomes a 50,000 word book. I'm looking forward to seeing it.
One of these days I am going to order a bunch of the self published books from authors on this site. If yours is one of them, it will be first on my list.
Interesting story, with a subtle message. Well done.
"The male mind incorporates an odd filter." I really like this line. It is an interesting observation and a unique way of stating it.
I am always working on the rule: "show" don't "tell" I slip into too much "tell". This line "Mothers with children always asked questions" might better be replaced or suplemented with some "showing". Your final paragraph is an excellent example of "showing".
Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction challenge. This is a really well written story - good use of the prompt.
I love the way you are able to "show" instead of "tell". That is an area I still struggle with. (eg.Steve and Bob gave another chuckle as the young man slumped his shoulders and headed for the door.)
Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction Challege - good job.
I like the way you used the vernacular to full advantage. When I read the first sentence I didn't like the use of the weak modifier "little", but it fits well with the rest of the story - as told by Marcus.
One point of confusion - I couldn't see if Marcus actually advanced the money. The story implies he did, but it isn't explicit.
Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge - well deserved.
I lov e your opening paragraph - lots of powerful descriptions. I particularly like the "tamborine" similie. The rest of the story is just as powerful.
I presume this would be accompanied by illustrations.
I have 3 grandkids and one on the way. I have thought of trying to write stories for them, or with them, but nothing has materialized yet. I applaud your effort.
I have read a lot of stories to my oldest (the others are still babies). At 4 years old he is fascinated with the stories and always wants pictures.
I have noticed that many - like yours - include some element of conflict and perhaps fear. What are your thoughts on how that impacts the young reader? Also does the act of putting incompatable animals (such as the duck and the cat) have any impact?
Creative story - nice job.
Here are a couple comments:
The language you used is pretty tame, but because of words like "crap", you might want to up the rating a bit.
Greg and William who was sixteen years old - If both boys are 16, then it should read "were". If only William is, then the statement is a bit confusing.
I'm not a poetry critic, so I'm not sure how valuable my comments are.
I really can identify with your first section - we are obviously from the same general era. I was more "conservative" than most of my compatriots of the day, but I could relate.
I am a bit lost with your second section. For me it doesn't fit.
I'm not sure if I catch all of your deeper meanings to this piece, but I love the way it is written. One of my weaknesses is description, so I am always on the lookout for stories that have rich description - yours is certainly rich, I love it.
Hey - congrats on winning the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge. Good job.
This is a cute story with subtle undertones, even if the language was none to subtle.
Although it's not critical for this effort, you had a lot of inconsistency in the punctuation - quotes in particular. If you rushed this entry, I can see how that happens.
This is a cute story - well written with lots of descriptive language. I like how you have placed the "thoughts".
I try to avoid adverbs as much as possible and look for more appropriate verbs. I see you have used several adverbs - you may want to revisit and see if they are necessary.
Good luck and keep writing.
Brian
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