First paragraph sets up well, however it feels a little choppy in my reading. I'm thinking the sentence "I regretted the Big Gulp" has a tense issue, but I can't put my finger on it. I would suggest dropping "been drinking" and just leave it as "...that Big Gulp on the way...".
Fifth paragraph..."It was though..." missing that "as".
The "What do you want" sentence seems out of place or awkward. He's pretty clear about what he wants. I would think more of "What are you doing..." or "What the heck..."
After passing out...maybe instead of "awoke" ... "the next thing I knew"
The intro of Scott and transition to his "Did I hear my name?" feels a little weak.
An interesting though disturbing story. A little difficult to read because of the choppiness, however that lends to the disturbing overall quality. I didn't understand the mirror, nor the reason the woman/nurse had to explain the story every year on the 12th of May. Seems to me in Dave's messed up mind he wouldn't have a clue about the date unless there was a trigger in his environment like seasonal decorations or some other regular annual event that would provoke the memories.
Needs a little editing for grammar and tense. Overall interesting. Keep writing!
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