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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bourner
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10 Public Reviews Given
10 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Once  
Review by Bourner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! I'm not sure if the "there drops" or if it should be "their drops" if it's from the petals. But that could just be me.

I enjoy the imagery, the trees, the potential of fruit from the apple tree surviving winter. Well done!
2
2
Review by Bourner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Other than a few spelling items, I thought it was well written. I felt like I knew Hal. In the third to last sentence of the 1st paragraph, it says, "As Has grew older". I think it would be "As Hal grew older". Then in the second sentence of the 2nd paragraph, it is "the work" when I think it would be "the word".

I loved how he was late to the cemetery. I enjoyed that his boss asked him to be late. I too am often late, so they tell me to be there a 1/2 hour before I should be there. They know and love me, just as you expressed this for Hal. THANK YOU!!!
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