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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brighteyes22
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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Playground  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love this poem because it is simple and poetic, but the words you chose seemed to fall into place within the passage. An excellent use of internal rhyming, so much so that I had to look up the different uses of rhyme, and I was a tad confused with how the end of the first rhymed then I remembered how a-b-a-c structure works. Overall great writing.
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Rated: E | (3.0)
Honestly i cannot ignore the blatant misuse of the the word intelligent, and the improper tense form of amaze. Other than the passage seemed like a good set-up for a poem, and what better use of a poem than to relate philosophy and the wonder that comes with the mind, its limitless imagination, and relative time. That being said I encourage the creativity that you have put forth here, and merely suggest that some proofreading may be in order.
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