A very intense and emotional poem. It seems that negative feelings are the strongest and easiest to draw from. The raw pain can be a motive to write some great poetry. I know, I've been there. I hope that you can open up and find true love again.
The only criticism I have is that I don't think you need to start every stanza capitalized. It should be used almost like writing sentences, to begin a new train of thought. Other than that it was a well written piece. Keep up the great work.
Very nice Dorianne. I have never heard of a senryu poem before. Haiku is one of my favorite forms too, so it is interesting to learn new stuff. Keep up the good work.
Very nicely written. The rhyme was steady but the rhythm seamed off in spots. It was intriguing and necessary, as our faith in God usually is. I got the sense of grandeur and intimacy at the same time. your symbolism by using words like "symphony, hymns, orchestrated, and cacophony" was spot on. All in all
a good poem.
Hi Ben. You requested me to read and review your item"Blood Freely Given".
First of all the title itself enticed me and caught my attention. The way you began with a reference to how all children imagine what they can or want to be when they're grown is something every reader will relate to. Starting with a back story of Throson and his mother sets up the premise for future exploits. It also shows how he became a simple man whose only dreams were to not be poor and hungry, and had no desire to be king. The twist is he became the Black King! It was nicely written, easy to read, and lured me into the story. Realistically it establishes the foundation for a grand adventure which I hope you can deliver. All in all it was a good beginning and I look forward to see what happens to Throson in the ensuing chapters. KEEP WRITING
Very true and very awesome ! You seem to know the sufferings of poets. This was an easy and interesting read. I enjoyed it immensely. Keep up the good work and continue to write from the heart. The muse is not always giving, but when she is it can be beautiful.
WOW ! This poem was amazing. It showed signs of darkness but with a sense of purpose. The rhythm and flow were fluent with a sprinkling of rhyme throughout.I especially liked the lines "You are spoiling my apocalypse...",and "Weightless souls litter the sky...".You have very real talent yourself and should definitely pursue it. Keep writing from the heart and you will stay true to your vision. Well done.
A cool story of love. The rhythm flowed with no distractions. It drew me in and kept me reading to see how the feelings and emotions unravel. Hopefully the queen will be with her king forever. It is a very touching and revealing read with real and vivid images. Well done.
A very nice piece of writing. The images told a vivid story and brought me along for the ride. It was fluid and kept me reading easily with no distractions. Well done.
A very interesting collection of poems. They are dark and foreboding but well written. It's not always easy to write from the heart. The poem "Freedom" is especially nice because it's unfortunate and true Keep up the good work.
Very nice piece of writing. You were able to convey the emotions and connection you feel with this person. It's truly an envying situation to have someone who calms you and shuts out all the chaos. Keep writing from the heart.
I loved it !! Edgar Allan Poe is hands down my favorite author. The imagery is vivid and very real. The rhyme and rhythm works throughout, and the meter is consistent. The incorporation of some of his work was very cool, (i.e. The Raven, A Dream Within a Dream, Lenore). Maybe in the next dream you will help him search for El Dorado !
This was a fantastic piece of writing. " Thought to be grateful and a will to be served-But looks to be sifted aren't too well preserved ". Those were the two lines that really caught me and struck a cord. Your rhythm and meter were spot on, and your rhyming was exquisite.I thoroughly enjoyed your poem.
Your poem evokes very strong emotions. Not just the pain, but triumph and dignity. You write with a sense and passion that is very tangible, bringing the reader into your world for a glimpse of your loss and victory. I was mesmerized by the boldness of your words while becoming a part of a very intimate and personal interaction. Keep your head high and be strong.
I read your poem "Change" on read and review and felt a sense of connection. It was intellectual and thought provoking. The only constant IS change. The line "beginning, ending, space between," holds a truth about life that not many grasp. The two ending line sums up the poem nicely. Very well written. Keep writing fantastic poems.
Your poem holds many truths also. The rhyme and rhythm were impeccable. Love poems are the hardest to write I think because we have a tendency to sound sappy when the emotions are real. Very nicely written.
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