A big positive is I can tell you know a lot about Charlie Brown and used the knowledge well in writing this story. I liked the first disclaimer expressing how it is all okay because the gang will never grow up.
However, I had a hard time reading this.
Part of the difficulty I had was with all of the emoticons. I feel that they broke up the story in a weird way, and broke up the flow. In addition, I do not feel they added anything to the story.
In general, I felt that most of the story was excessive in the way that it portrayed how horrible the characters' lives had turned out since childhood. It seemed to me to simply be an excuse to make the characters' lives as horrible as possible without adding anything to the characters of childhood.
Finally, the second disclaimer, stating it was not meant to be offensive, is not helpful. There are several things in the story that could be seen as offensive, as you appear to be aware of, and this will push people away from your story.
I love that you like to write satire. Satire, when written well, is a great look at society.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bunniebunn
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.20 seconds at 11:33am on Apr 24, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
