That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard!!!! I wish everyone could see people like this, the world be such a beautiful place! I love the verse were he talks about her lips, it's as if he's found an angel, and can't wait for his mother to meet her! I would be proud to have a son like that, to be able to see people like that must be a true gift, the word is blind. Great job!!!!
LOL. Poor guy, he had it coming, and didn't even suspect! I don't feel badly for him though, any man who would cheat on his wife, let alone with a young girl is not worth the time it took her to lose sleep over him. I loved this, the wife is psychic and doesn't even know it! Great job!
Why not? I mean sure, there is nothing to visualize, no inspiration, but somewhere in there, if you look close enough, there actually is. Defiance, questions, and why not? Who says you can't? lol. I like this, a lot actually, great job! Every poet should think like this, and leave the summary up to the reader.
So calming. like listening to ocean waves after a long day of work. I've only been to the ocean once, but this poem reminds me of it, the way you mention sand and water, and the vastness so far. Standing next to the ocean makes you feel so small in comparison, easily making your problems feel miniscule. Keep up the great work! Great de-stresser.
After reading this I find myself wanting to delve into the growing collection of historical romances piling up on my desk. I couldn't even tell that this wasn't part of a book. I LOVED it!!!! I was so sad in the begging thinking that her love had died or something, I severally wish this was part of a whole book, I would have loved to read it. Alexander (Cage) is a wonderfully charming, sensible man, and I respect him deeply for his views on society in the late nineteenth century, this makes him a bit of an oddball, but Sophia is as much an oddball, and an innocent in the ways of society. I couldn't even tell that she was too old to be at the ball, she seemed so fresh. I loved the ending, it's a great view on how easily it was for a woman to lose her reputation, though I admit, I'm glad she chose the kiss instead of never seeing him again. Her aunt probably would have made her life difficult, and so she probably wouldn't have been able to be courted in a usual sense. I wish I'd seen a little more interaction between Sophie and his sister, because despite her 'society ways' it seems these two would have made great friends. Great job, you write wonderfully, and of course...write on!!!!
I really wanted to give this a 5 star, it was very hard clicking on that 1 !!!! I confess I read this because I have NEVER in my ENTIRE life read poetry about ZOMBIES!!!! I usually don't like zombie stuff, it's dark, and it gives me nightmares, but it's so alluring, to see how man king could fall. I love how you made them sound so normal, they just want to survive, like everyone else! They're not evil..... LOL. Anyway, great job, I love "Back the Equality Project!" Write on!!!!!
So after reading some of your darker stuff, it's nice to read something a little lighter. I wish I could choose a favorite line, but the truth is, I love the entire thing! I'm not usually one for poetry, it's usually sappy, and cliche, so thumbs up for something original! Out of the three pieces I reviewed total, I think this one is my favorite! Again, as I said in the other review, this seems like something you'd see in quotes at the beginning of a chapter, in a novel, though this more romance, than the other. You did a great job, and you have a real talent. You even rhymed without being robotic, that's what I call poetry that rhymes for the sake of rhyming, and proves no other point. LOL. Again, great job! Loved this! And as always, WRITE ON!!!!!!
Ooooh, sounds like a werewolf! How intriguing! I love the last sentences, "In the Light, the hunter becomes the hunter" it's like a story in itself. You use such descriptive words, almost as if some man beast is going to jump out at any moment after reading this... The 'Beware the beast' line just gives me such anticipation, as if something is stalking just around the corner, waiting for it's prey to make a single mistake. Great job! LOVE this! As always, write on!
I really enjoyed this! I smiled, a lot, especially this line; it was my favorite! -I remember one year, it was deathly cold outside and raining black cats and dead dogs. We were just about to call it a night when we spotted a house that was decorated all in black and orange with little gravestones in the front yard, paper ghosts hanging from the trees and loud music blasting from the inside. There was a big sign by the front door painted in what appeared to be blood, which read, “The Neighborhood Halloween Party! Come One, Come All!”
I appreciate stories like this, because they seem so out of the ordinary, while at the same time, trying to make something so odd, seem so normal. I think this would make an excellent children's book! I would definitely read it to my son, even though he's only two.
I chose this story as part of my group's raid, because it was Halloween-ish, and ghoulish!
My only concern, was whether or not you meant for your vampire to call her husband Darlink, or if it was a typo. Since you did it twice, I thought maybe it was on purpose. Other than that however, I really enjoyed this story! Thanks for a great read!
I love reading Halloween poetry around Halloween. It's my favorite holiday!!!!
On to the review!
You did a great job rhyming the ending words, and a wonderful job describing Halloween. The sixth line, is my favorite! A suggestion; If you want to make it read better, a trick would be to make each line have the same amount of syllables. I was recently told this as well, and feel like it is a good tip, and thought I should share it with others as well. If you don't know what that means, here is an example. Your first line; Halloween is on its way- has 7 syllables. 3 For Halloween, and one for each other word. However, your second line; Some will shout hooray- has only 5 syllables. That is not to say that your poem isn't beautiful the way it is, this is only a tip, and is only to use at your discretion. But if your DO decide to use this tip, a handy way to make your poem flow better is to make sure each line has the same amount of syllables in each line. Or as close to as possible.
I really enjoyed your poem, and I hope you have a Happy Halloween!!!! Great job. .
Wow! That was awesome! The last line was fantastic, a Superb ending. It's so well written, and creative I was wrapped in every word!!! I don't know what your inspiration was, but clearly it was extreme. I don't normally read horror, despite my fascination with the recently re-named Dark room, but clearly Lord HH knew what he was talking about, when he requested we read it....Great job!!!
As promised, I read this chapter, and like before I like it just as much. You're still keeping with the theme, your character well made. Lizzie ha such a fiery spirit, I find it to be equally as annoying that she argues over her chores, as Derek. He is roving to be a great character, and perfect for the overworked lady. I intend to read more in hopes of them ending up together. Great job!
I read that you would appreciate criticism, but I am not good at correcting others errors, much less my own, so I thought I would just tell you what I thought of your story.
First off, I am a big fan of historical romances, so of course, I loved the time period. You are doing a wonderful job in keeping with the theme, I tend to modernize my characters to much. My favorite character is Lizzie, of course, whether she be the main character or not, I like her brothers as well though, and if you intend to write a sequel, with them as the lead, I would look forward to it. I have every intention of reading the others chapters to this as well, I have loved every sentence so far. You are doing a great job, please, keep up the good work!
Crazy is as crazy does, lol. I like your logic, and personally I think that being normal is vastly overrated, which means being crazy is much better. There is nothing better than being your own unique self. People don't like what they don't understand, but Crazy can many many things. I like your poem, I understand were your coming from, and you say it so beautifully. The only thing I saw, was that you spelled "Straight" wrong, in the second line, or maybe you meant to do that. Other than that, I loved your poem, and you did a great job conveying your thoughts.
Beautiful! Its so descriptive, so magical. I fantasy in the real world! It's as if anything can, and will happen. As if the world stands still, and there is nothing the calm serenity. You write so beautifully, so graceful. I loved every second of it, every single well-written word. I wonder though what would have happened if he had spoken to the girl. Disturbed the peace, but branded it as well. His own existence in the magic. Great job!
A kindred spirit!!! LOL, very descriptive! I too would love to see castles in Europe, not to mention the Scottish highlands, and Irish lush. We have a lot in common, and you did a very good job displaying your character. I feel like fast friends. I found your name on the anniversary page, I hope you don't mind. I loved your poem, and you did great! The first 2 lines were my favorite, though I did like the 6th one as well: Who gives love unconditional; life to words; a glimpse into her soul.
I completley agree! And not just because I have a slight piece of Native American heritage in my blood either. Slight as it is, I have read stories, and find that I agree with you. I Loved this poem, loved your words, the way you described the problem, the situation and the ending without really saying anything of the sort. I'm sad that he was killed at the end, or at least that is how i read it. But of course he was just 1 of so many. It was a terrible thing. Great job, not only for your opinion, but for your words, and writing as well.
lol, I don't know what is about him making the coffee, maybe I missed it, but I still think this story in entertaining, and I liked it. I find it hilarious that you leave messages on pop machines about caffeine, though I'm sure people don't appreciate it. I myself am diabetic, so I can only drink Diet anything, and fake sugar in my coffee. But upon seeing diet, caffeine free pop, I find myself wondering, what is the point? I guess that is why I liked your story so much. You did a great job!
Beautiful! Its so descriptive, so magical. I fantasy in the real world! It's as if anything can, and will happen. As if the world stands still, and there is nothing the calm serenity. You write so beautifully, so graceful. I loved every second of it, every single well-written word. I wonder though what would have happened if he had spoken to the girl. Disturbed the peace, but branded it as well. His own existence in the magic. Great job!
A kindred spirit!!! LOL, very descriptive! I too would love to see castles in Europe, not to mention the Scottish highlands, and Irish lush. We have a lot in common, and you did a very good job displaying your character. I feel like fast friends. I found your name on the anniversary page, I hope you don't mind. I loved your poem, and you did great! The first 2 lines were my favorite, though I did like the 6th one as well: Who gives love unconditional; life to words; a glimpse into her soul.
I completley agree! And not just because I have a slight piece of Native American heritage in my blood either. Slight as it is, I have read stories, and find that I agree with you. I Loved this poem, loved your words, the way you described the problem, the situation and the ending without really saying anything of the sort. I'm sad that he was killed at the end, or at least that is how i read it. But of course he was just 1 of so many. It was a terrible thing. Great job, not only for your opinion, but for your words, and writing as well.
lol, I don't know what is about him making the coffee, maybe I missed it, but I still think this story in entertaining, and I liked it. I find it hilarious that you leave messages on pop machines about caffeine, though I'm sure people don't appreciate it. I myself am diabetic, so I can only drink Diet anything, and fake sugar in my coffee. But upon seeing diet, caffeine free pop, I find myself wondering, what is the point? I guess that is why I liked your story so much. You did a great job!
Another great story! You have a wonderful talent for story telling. So believable,, as though you re-telling a true story. You did a wonderful job, very descriptive, and very imaginative. I loved the ending especially, and think that maybe if all women stood up for themselves in some way or another, instead of blaming themselves, life could be a very different place. Though maybe not how she accomplished it, but I'm sure in her day it would have been overlooked, due to circumstances. Great job, you are a wonderful writer, and I thank you for allowing me into your port!
Oh my, what a wonderful story! How sad though, that he did not believe the child, though things like this do happen, and sometimes the child is a little disturbed, but things like this should always be taken seriously in my opinion. You did a wonderful job with this story, it was imaginative, well written, and had wonderful flow. I love when I can see the story in my head, playing out like a movie, and you did just that! Again, great job, and definitely keep up the good work!
That was a very beautiful, and sweet story. You did a wonderful job, and I loved it very much. My favorite part was the last line, as it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. Great job, and as always write on!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cademe
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.27 seconds at 8:30am on Apr 19, 2024 via server web1.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
